Hey everyone,

as during the past week I'm finally playing a bit more with ET
(parallel to ED parallel to Golden Horse and
just reading and reading and absorbing your articles and writings
about Emotrance and your other projects, Silvia, I stumbled upon this old
post of yours after having searched the group for the
keyword "helplessness" as I felt there might already be something
written on this thing that bothers me at the moment the most, this
seemingly awful twisted
fear/confusion/helplessness/what-the-fuck-is-going-on/I-have-to-do-everything-to\
day/etc./pp.
thing being similar to the one you so exactly described.

And what can I say ...

Thank you very much for the *Thought Flow Pattern* (A pity it isn't
included in the German ET manual, anyway, a joy to have found it now
:)) and
let me say that doing this on some thoughts it feels really helpful
and releasing, to just be able to throw the thoughts over your back,
without having to soften&flow and repair channels and heal fault lines
and all this which for me at the moment is difficult to stick to on my
own because of all the fear involved -- similar to how you decribed in
your post back then. This being driven by fear -- I know it very well
and it feels very empowering to read that it can indeed be overcome,
that stopping to do all this nonsense and throwing all those thought
over your back and standing up to your fears doesn't neccessarily lead
to complete devastation and breakdown and emptiness and nothingness (a
something can only turn into a something, or how did it go :D).

This paragraph ringed quite true (although 99% sounds sooo devastating
:D):

> I got to see that *my entire life* was really, 99% emergency anxiety
> control and all of it AWAY FROM FEAR motivated - fear motivated but
> not towards anything long term proactive, generative or that would
> solve the problem finally at all, but a totally negative set up and
> structure (and we do know how the energy body hates us running NO!!
> reversals!).

Well, I'm glad I've already contacted two ETPs near where I live/will
move to later this year and that I will be able to get extra support
from them in personal consultations.

But what soothes me the most is that my underlying sense that behind
all of this fear/avoiding/helpless/chaotic behaviors and states there
lies one (or lie some) central energetic injurie(s) (not sexual, but
surely energetic/emotional abuse; might be located where the fault
lines are), that this might indeed be true.

And all this being chaotic and not getting things done might be some
big fat signpost to sort this major EREA(s) out FIRST.

> I still didn't believe it was really and truly as bad as this until
> I started to treat the anxiety/fear peaks that triggered the
> repetitive behaviours - mainly with snow globes!
Now how does that work?

Thank you for sharing this, Silvia, really thank you, and now I
additionally ask you folks experienced with ET: Does some pattern come
to your mind on how
to cope with general confusion and not knowing what to do next, not
knowing where to start, because everything seems like a number one
priority, feeling like you fall apart into a thousand little pieces?

I will
do my share work in thought-flowing all of this, doing ET as far as I
manage and stuff but I reckon I could
appreciate some of your advice.

This post is as cluttered as I feel at the moment. But I want to start
getting tips forum you experienced ET practioners and players alike
*before* reaching enlighenment :D. Next post will be more evolved ...

*hidesawaysomewhereandthoughtflowssomemore*

Max.
P.S.: I will still have to soften&flow your review answer on my review
on the Golden Horse, Silvia, because some old energy injuries were
quite hit by your appreciation.
Good for practising, I hope one day, I'll be able to take it all in,
through, and out.
I think I'll administer some Energy Dancing to me now, or some Nature
;):P.