I feel like I have been raped.  I stand up to abuse and get fired.  Afterwards
the cowards can't even show up at the hearing for the unemployment.   They hide
behind a lawyer who hides behind a telephone.  I decided not to react - no
matter what he said.  He said the most vicious ugly things about me.  I go
through feeling of shaking and feeling of calm.  I wish I could cry.  It feels
like frozen tears.   I know that the good old boy system isn't going to protect
them forever.  Karma will catch up with them and I don't have to lift a finger
to help it along.

   Lately when men come near me,  I feel like running.  Last week, I met a man
for coffee  on the college lawn. He was suppose to bring the coffee and sweet
rolls.  He didn't even do that.  He brough two cans of Dr. Thunder. (cheap knock
off Dr. Pepper)   He instantly wants to get into sex.   It turns out he was
married.  After he requested oral sex,  I grabbed the can of Dr. Thunder and
stormed away.

Today I was invited to Lunch by a 68 year old Mormon retired trucker.    I was
suppose to meet him at the office.  I got there and there was a note to meet him
at his house.  I go over there and he wants to instantly go to the bedroom.   I
told him,  I thought we were going to Lunch.  We went to lunch.  Talking about
trucking and the Book of Mormons.   I asked a lot of questions.  Afterwards, I
told him that I was planning on taking a hike in the Forest.   He suggested that
his bedroom was better than the forest.   Ha.   I should have ordered desert.  
He told me that he even took a Viagra in anticipation of our "Lunch Date"   he
says he doesn't get enough from his 80 year old g/f.    Grrrrrrrrr!   I wanted
to talk about trucking and the book of mormons.

I would rather be alone than spend time with men who want treat me with
disrespect.   I can get all the cocks I want.  It's love that I want.

  I think I am going to take a long long hike in the forest.  At least my dog
understands the concept of Loyalty.


Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
What A Wonderful World
~ Louis Armstrong
I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

"The war between the sexes will never be
resolved because it is too fun to
fraternize with the enemy."

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

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Thursday, August 26, 2004 - Red Candle
And I say to myself, "What A Wonderful World!" The wise woman says sing myself
to health. "Me Sing? Huh! Very Badly - When Nobody Listens. Today, I needed to
be in Nature but didn't want to leave home. There is an old Quarry in the back
of my house. I decided to hike in the hills behind the Old Quarry. My dog Ferlin
Duncan MacKinsey came with me. I could see bits of Nature popping up everywhere
among the rubble. I said to myself, "The mother Gaia has been raped. So have I.
She can heal. So can I. I found a trail and hiked future up. After a long way, I
found an exclusive clearing. I piled some rocks on top of a stump. In my off key
voice - I sang honor to the Directions, to Grandfather Creator, and Mother Gaia.
A hummingbird flew by, I sang "Spirit of the Wind" - Be here now. I picked up a
rock. What belief do I have about my intellegence and my relationship with men
that needs to change. I put them in the rock and threw it out of the circle. I
faced the sun and sang "Spirit of the
  Sun - Be here now!" I picked up a rock, put the concerns for my children in the
rock. I casted it out of the circle. I faced a nearby pond. "Spirit of the Rain
Be Here Now," I picked up another rock. I expressed concerns about my validation
as a woman and the way some men have disrespected me in the past. I throw that
rock out of the circle. I faced the mountain and Sang, "Spirit of the Earth, Be
here now. I picked up a rock and expessed concerned about my physical body and
material needs. I throw the rock out of the circle. I danced to the sounds of
Nature. Gentle backward movements to reduce the energy of the things that need
transforming. Next I did the same thing except I placed flowers on the altar to
name the transformations. I gave the transformation a name. I rename you
laughter of.......... I sang to the creator and the earth mother. I dance much
better than I sing. I thanked the creator, mother gaia and the direction and
ended the ceremony. Heading home, I took a different
  path. I wasn't lost but I didn't know where I was for awhile. And I sing to
myself "What a Wonderful World!" Laughter of God and Angels prevails




Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
What A Wonderful World
~ Louis Armstrong
I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

"The war between the sexes will never be
resolved because it is too fun to
fraternize with the enemy."

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

And I think to myself what a wonderful world
__________________________________________________
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Thursday, August 26, 2004 - Orange Candle
Grandfather Creator, Mother Gaia

Haste Haste - No Time to Waste - The Queen has no Clothes.

She is standing on Stage (old job that would never go on current resume) Heh!
Heh!

Off goes ex-employer's old uniform that symbolizes limitations of time,the
realms of disorder, harm. blindness, foolish behavior, self-destructive
tendencies. They reduced her to a fool but she is no fool. Don't belong there
anymore. She is Queen in another realm Back to the ex-supervisor, the uniform
goes. Mistakes fixed. Wisdom Gained. Moving Forward, Create better world. The
Queen Winks tosses ex-supervisor kiss and wishes him well.

The Trucker Queen has has New Clothes. Smaller sized blue jeans, steel toed
boots and a vest to cover those double dd's. All symbolize the sudden awakening
to unity, grace, and spiritual treasures buried within the Material world.

Trucker Queen, Welcome to realm of the Great Pumpkin Trucks. Drive that Great
Pumpkin to the road of happy destiny

As The Creator Wills It So Mote It Be

Trucker Queen Pumpkin West Virginia



Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
What A Wonderful World
~ Louis Armstrong
I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

"The war between the sexes will never be
resolved because it is too fun to
fraternize with the enemy."

And I think to myself what a wonderful world
__________________________________________________
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I am quickly discovering that I can't depend on ex-employers or government
agencies to help me.  I am having to heal myself.   These employers are not
going to play fair.  They are going to lie, fabricate and alter documents for
their best interest.    I can't change them.  All I can do is heal me and move
forward.

I stood up to an abusive male supervisor.  I lost my job.   I applied for
unemployment and they opposed it.  It is Insubordination because I refused to
continue listening to this man's abuse.  I wrote some rather heated letters to
various individuals in management.   They called it Misconduct.   When we went
to the hearing,  I decided that the battle was not between me and them.  It was
a battle between me and my reactive self.  No matter what was said I made a
decison not to react.  I knew they were going to present me as an unbalanced
woman who only imagined the abuse.  In dire need of psychiatirc help.  I had
said that I was going to go work for a Limo Company and go to Truck Driving
School after I left them and the lawyer said that I did neither.  I accomplished
exactly nothing after they fired me.    Actually I did work for the Limo company
for two weeks but the job did not work out.    And I AM scheduled to go to truck
driving school next week.

The only thing that happened is that I was disqualifed for unemployment benefits
for six weeks.  from July 4 to August 21.   I have not paid the rent, the car
insurance is due and there is very little food in the house.   This is not the
ideal way to lose weight but oh well.     I have been talking to a group on 
domestic violence and was told that women who have a history of being abused DO
overreact when confronted with abuse again.   At least this explains why I
reacted the way I did.  I don't have to beat myself up over it any more.   After
the hearing I came home, shaking and asking my creator to give me one good
reason why I should not cross myself over into the spiritworld.  - I am been
talking to gals in a domestic violence group and working the program in the 8
Sacred Room.

binky30248 <binky30248@...> wrote:
--- In emotionalabuse@yahoogroups.com, "binky30248" <binky30248@y...>
wrote:
> Hi everyone. I haven't written in a while but I wanted to get in
touch again. I had a severe anxiety attack in March that kept me in
the hospital for five days. The doctors all thought I had a heart
attack. I had to have a heart cath and everything. My next hearing is
tommorow(8/26) and I am terrified that I wont win. When this first
happened the company sent me to a therapist who happened to be a
social worker. Now they are arguing that since she isnt a doctor, she
can treat me for post traumatic stress disorder, but she can't
diagnose me with it. And the judge agreed! What a joke!

Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
What A Wonderful World
~ Louis Armstrong
I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

"The war between the sexes will never be
resolved because it is too fun to
fraternize with the enemy."

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

--- In emotionalabuse@yahoogroups.com, "binky30248" <binky30248@y...>
wrote:
> Hi everyone. I haven't written in a while but I wanted to get in
touch again. I had a severe anxiety attack in March that kept me in
the hospital for five days. The doctors all thought I had a heart
attack. I had to have a heart cath and everything. My next hearing is
tommorow(8/26) and I am terrified that I wont win. When this first
happened the company sent me to a therapist who happened to be a
social worker. Now they are arguing that since she isnt a doctor, she
can treat me for post traumatic stress disorder, but she can't
diagnose me with it. And the judge agreed! What a joke! Now I must
come up with $2,500 to have a psychiatrist evaluate me and testify on
my behalf. Now I understand why people go into the workplaces and
start shooting. I dont own and gun and would never use one, but I
understand why people just snap. Companies will drive you to it.

Hi everyone.Hope everybody is doing ok.I'm not doing so well.On
> Monday the EAP person that I've been talking to from the company
> completely betrayed me. She told me on Sept 19 that the EAP person
> that I worked with before admitted to everything that I said she
told
> me(how they had to watch their premiums, etc.)But then when I
talked
> to her on Monday, she completely denied even speaking to her!I have
> documented every conversation with everyone I've spoken to at the
gas
> company, yet she insists she never told me any of the things that I
> have written down! I was so disgusted I almost vomited. I yelled at
> her for an hour before hanging up on her. She had the nerve to call
> back later that day to tell me that she was on my side, whether I
> believed it or not!! I am physically, emotionally, and spiritually
> exhausted. I can't eat or sleep. I've lost 5 pounds since Monday
> (stress makes for a great diet aid!)Seriously, you guys have been
> helpful and I could really use your prayers right now. I have to
> believe there is a higher purpose for all of this.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> --- In emotionalabuse@yahoogroups.com, michelle lacock
> <ocunursingstudent@y...> wrote:
> > yeah, you keep fighting and dont let them get you down.
> >
> > binky30248 <binky30248@y...> wrote:Unfortunately, nothing has
> changed. My second hearing only lasted
> > about 20 minutes because the insurance company didn't have the
ime
> > report yet. I have filed discrimination charges with the EEOC and
> the
> > other women at my job have written a letter to the vice-president
> of
> > the company not just about my treatment but also about the
> treatment
> > of women there period. They are finally realizing that this is
> their
> > battle too. The good news is that the workers comp judge said
that
> he
> > wont let this go past April. I'm hanging in there so far. I
> certainly
> > won't give up without a fight.Thanks for your concern. I'll keep
> you
> > informed.> :)
> > > --- binky30248 <binky30248@y...> wrote:
> > > > Sure. I work for a gas company. My job is to go into
> > > > people's home
> > > > for various reasons. While I have had other
> > > > customers say and do
> > > > inappropriate things over the years, I have never
> > > > filed any
> > > > complaints or refused to do any job. Even my mostly
> > > > male co-workers
> > > > had made the comment that these types of things
> > > > usually don't bother
> > > > me, so this must have been a really bad situation.
> > > > On a good note, I
> > > > did talk to the PA Dept of Labor and Industry
> > > > Investigations Unit. I
> > > > had to write a letter to them explaining everything
> > > > that my employer
> > > > had done. They are going to send a copy of the
> > > > letter to my
> > > > employer's insurance company. They are also going to
> > > > investigate
> > > > themselves. Hopefully something comes from that.
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > =====
> > > Sue
> > >
> > >
> > > __________________________________
> > > Do you Yahoo!?
> > > Yahoo! Search - Find what you're looking for faster
> > > http://search.yahoo.com
> >
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > Yahoo! Groups Links
> >
> >    To visit your group on the web, go to:
> > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/emotionalabuse/
> >
> >    To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> > emotionalabuse-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
> >
> >    Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Michelle Lacock
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > Do you Yahoo!?
> > Yahoo! Search - Find what you're looking for faster.
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Monday August 23, 2004

573-02-8401

APPEAL to Deputy’s Decision

Claim Date - August 1, ` 2004

Claim Decision - August 19, 2004

Claimant-Bonijean Isaacs

Issue Employer-West Virginia Citizens Conservation Corp

I was employed as a Courtesy Patrol Driver from July 31 2003 to July 9, 2004. I
was discharged for inappropriate behavior, insubordination and not representing
the employer in a professional manner.

It has been determined that evidence presented by the employer substantiates
insubordination and actions constitutes an act of simple misconduct. Thus I am
disqualified for six weeks with a reduction in benefits.

I am appealing this decision because

I was not insubordinate to the Field Supervisor. My perception of the situation.
I was being targeted for abuse. The Field Supervisor may have perceived it as
Tough Business Management but it felt like intimidation to me. It has been my
personal experience that abusers often start out with something small - like
when the Field Supervisor reprimanded me for smoking and even implied that I was
lying when I tried to explain that I don’t smoke. The situation escalated to
bigger things. The interaction between me and the field supervisor did not
appear to be intended to resolve anything. I felt intimidated. Adults
browbeating other adults over mistakes is not management. We all make mistakes.
A adult who hammers who hammers another adult at because they do something
stupid is not going to make them anyone smarter. It only made put me on the
defensive. The Field Supervisor’s approach is not management. It was not
designed to resolve anything. It is unprofessional behavior. I chose to
  discontinue the conversation because it was counterproductive. I chose to
remove myself from what I felt was a hostile situation. That is not
Insubordination.

Simple Misconduct-

I corresponded with the Educational Coordinator and express my concerns with
what I perceive as being a target for workplace bullying. We often corresponded
and exchanged e-mail because of educational issues. I was hoping to be able to
be directed to the channels that could resolve the situation. I also sent copies
of this correspondence to members of management. Granted some of the
correspondence was emotional and heated I got absolutely no response or any
suggestions on how to resolve the situation. These letters were submitted as
evidence of misconduct. I also wrote letters to Government Officials on the
issue because this job is funded by tax dollars.



I do have a history of past issues with abuse.
Women who have been abused DO overreact when they perceive they are being abused
again - this is a form of protection based on what has happened in the past. It
is a normal reaction.
It's a natural reaction to be extra defensive when it appears that abuse is
going on. Along with a few other natural instincts. This is Not simple
misconduct!



The Lawyer who represents WVCCC tried to imply that I am a mentally unbalanced
woman who imagined the bullying. Here is some Historical facts. In November of
1917 - a group of women picked Woodrow Wilson's White House for the right to
vote. They were jailed and convicted of "obstructing sidewalk traffic." They
were sent to the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia. They were beaten, abused and
punished because they had the audacity to stand up for Women’s Rights to vote.

Some of the opponents tried to have one of the women, Alice Paul declared insane
so that she could be permanently institutionalized. The doctor refuse. Alice
Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn't make her crazy. The doctor
admonished the men: "Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity."



Blessed Be

Bonnie Jean Isaacs





Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
It was a time when parents who abused their children were simpy called "strict,"
when the spiritaul laceration of profoundly exploited women were referred to as
"nervous breakdowns," when woman and girls were tightly girdled, tightly reined,
and tightly muzzled were often called nice and those other females who managed
to slip the collar for a moment or two were branded "bad."   Women who Run With
the Wolves

Good girls never make History.   Misbehave and BE REMEMBERED

---------------------------------
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Women who dared
By Beverly Davies Print this page

  -->
The women were innocent and defenseless. And by the end of the night, they were
barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden’s blessing
went on a rampage against the 33 helpless women wrongly convicted of
“obstructing sidewalk traffic.”
They beat Lucy Burn, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left
her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air. They hurled Dora Lewis
into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold.
Her cellmate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack.
Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking,
slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women. Thus unfolded the “Night of
Terror” on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia
ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because
they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson’s White House for the right to vote.
For weeks, the women’s only water came from an open pail. Their food—all of it
colorless slops—was infested with worms. When one of the leaders, Alice Paul,
embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her
throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this
for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press.
So, refresh my memory. Some women won’t vote this year because—why, exactly? We
have car pool duties? We have to get to work? Our vote doesn’t matter? It’s
raining?
Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO’s new movie Iron Jawed
Angels. It is a graphic depiction of the battle these women waged so I could
pull the curtain at the polling booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I
needed the reminder.
There was a time when I knew these women well. I met them in college—not in my
required American history courses, which barely mentioned them, but in women’s
history class. That’s where I found the irrepressibly brave Alice Paul—her
large, brooding eyes seemed fixed on my own as she stared out from the page.
“Remember!” she silently beckoned. Remember. I thought I always would.
I registered voters throughout college and law school, worked on congressional
and presidential campaigns until I started writing for newspapers. When
Geraldine Ferraro ran for vice president, I took my 9-year-old son to meet her.
“My knees are shaking,” he whispered after shaking her hand. “I’m never going to
wash this hand again.”
All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But the actual
act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote. Frankly, voting often
felt more like an obligation than a privilege. Sometimes it was even
inconvenient.
My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied women’s history, saw the HBO movie,
too. When she stopped by my desk to talk about it, she looked angry. She was.
With herself. “One thought kept coming back to me as I watched that movie,” she
said. “What would those women think of the way I use—or don’t use—my right to
vote?”
All of us take it for granted now, not just younger women, but those of us who
did seek to learn. The right to vote, she said, had become valuable to her “all
over again.”
HBO will run the movie periodically before releasing it on video and DVD. I wish
all history, social studies and government teachers would include the movie in
their curriculum. I want it shown on Bunko night, too, and anywhere else women
gather. I realize this isn’t our usual idea of socializing, but we are not
voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think a little shock therapy is
in order.
It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a
psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently
institutionalized. And it is inspiring to watch the doctor refuse. Alice Paul
was strong, he said, and brave. That didn’t make her crazy. The doctor
admonished the men: “Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.”



Persecution is not an original feature in any religion; but it is always the
strongly marked feature of all religions established by law. -- Thomas Paine





Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
It was a time when parents who abused their children were simpy called "strict,"
when the spiritaul laceration of profoundly exploited women were referred to as
"nervous breakdowns," when woman and girls were tightly girdled, tightly reined,
and tightly muzzled were often called nice and those other females who managed
to slip the collar for a moment or two were branded "bad."   Women who Run With
the Wolves

Good girls never make History.   Misbehave and BE REMEMBERED

---------------------------------
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Letter from my advisor    Bonnie Jean,

In what energy will you operate, thursday?

Do not take the role of the attacked, of the offended, the victim, the accused.
Do not take the role of the one who has to fight for respectful treatment or
rightessnous, who needs to achieve or prove anything.
Stay honest and respectable and understanding and gentle, from your inside.
Keep connected and true to the Goddess within.

REMEMBER:
The game of thursday is not about victory over them, it is about victory over
your old reactive self.

Do not defend your truths. Do not attack their truths. You know what is true,
and they do not have to believe you!
Just stay centered in your own truth.
You did not smoke. Period.
You did not speed. Period.
You did give Diesel. They allow you to give gas, and they did not tell you it is
not allowed to give diesel. Period.

Do not repeat yourself to often in various ways of saying your truth.
Do not attack/provoke/accuse them, do not say that their truth is wrong or bad.
You only have a different truth and a different perception.

Stick to the facts. Do not accuse them of using you as a target, of treating you
mean, of victimizing you. They will laugh about that. Then they have succeeded
in making a victim of you. They will feel superior, and you will feel that they
make you inferior.

Try to accept that they say what they say, try to accept that they lie and
manipulate. Stay free from reactiveness. Just breath through your impulses, and
try to re-create your inner love and your inner smile (the Goddess within). That
is the only way to stay centered inside, in your diginity and truth and
gentleness.

Keep loving yourself and supporting yourself, inside. Do not bring every thought
into the world. Choose carefully what will be helpful. Be true to yourself. That
does not mean that you must fight for righteousness, for respectful treatment.
To be true to yourself means that you trust yourself and acknowledge yourself,
and that you behave the way you really like to behave. Then you have won. The
game of thursday is not about victory over them, it is about victory over your
old reactive self.


I am with you,
Jarien.



Bright Blessings   -   Bonijean Wyldbirch Isaacs or is it Bonnie Jean
Preasmeyer????
"Calmness and a sense of irony are the only weapons worthy of the strong."
  quoted by Stacy Brian Bartley
"A Woman's Issue of soul cannot be treated by craving her into a more acceptable
form as defined by an unconscious culture, nor can she be bent into a more
intellectually acceptable shape by those who claim to be the sole bearers of
consciousness,"    Women Who Run With The Wolves by  Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD





















Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
If you move into a relationship when you are feeling lonely, then you will
exploit the other. The other will be a means to satisfy you.
......
First become alone. First become so authentically happy that if nobody comes it
doesn't matter.
.....
The person who has lived in his aloneness will always be attracted to another
person who is also living his aloneness beautifully, because like attracts like.
When two masters meet - masters of thier being, of their aloneness - happiness
is not just added, it is multiplied. It becomes a tremendous phenomenon of
celebration. And they don't exploit each other, they share. They don't use each
other. On the contrary, they become one and enjoy the existence that surrounds
them.

---------------------------------
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The angel was puzzled, "Where is that Child hiding! What is she afraid of? It's
time to bring her home." The woman was called to retrieve the child. "Of course,
she's afraid," the woman declared. "Look at these tough business people,
stripping common folks  of their humanity to gratify their egos.

" The angel laughed, "Unevolved souls they are indeed, they will progress too.
It may be in another lifetime. But indeed they will progress!"

Reluctantly, the woman agreed to retrieve the child. "Who are you totems?" the
angel asked the woman. "I'll bring Skunk because everyone respects Skunk. Deer
is somewhat annoying but perfectly okay if she stays in her realm. She's rather
pretty. I think I'll take Deer. Also the West Dragon. She's my buddy!"

The Angel was pleased. "Go look in the underworld, I suspect that is where she
is hiding" Together they traveled as they sang, "Hi Ho Hi Ho - It to the
Underworld we go." The Child was hiding in a cave. The woman said, "Child,it's
time to go home, You don't have to be afraid. I can protect you.

The child started sobbing, "Don't wanna come out! Too Many mean people out
there!" The Skunk reassured the child, "If they try to hurt you, I'll make them
smell bad!" The dragon smirked and told  the child,  "I'll make them think I am
going to eat them, not that I really would. Mean people don't taste too good.
even with lots of catchup.

Giggleing , the  deer told the child, "We've got a magickal train. We will put
all the mean people on it. The train will go though a special fog. The mean
people will come out the other side of the fog transformed into nice people."   
The Child shook her head in disbelief.

  "But Child, the woman said, "that will never happen unless you come out of the
cave to drive the train! " The child was interested. "Gee I get to pick the
people who get on the train, and drive them into a magickal fog  .  " The four
hideous horsemen, Cruella DeVil, The Love Ewe and Her John. Bawdy, Doofus
DooRight and the Mudpuppy. So many that I can't name them all at once. Gee I can
increase the list Ad Infinitum. That would be so much fun."

  The deer reassured the child. We can always stop and pick up more mean people. 
There's plenty of room for them all.  Thank the Great Spirit - declares the
dragon with a sigh of relief! I certainly don't want to eat those mean people
especially after skunk makes them smell bad." The child walked out of the cave.
The woman embraced the child, taking her hand, "Okay Child, let get out of this
place. Time to go Home" The Angel Laughed





Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
If you move into a relationship when you are feeling lonely, then you will
exploit the other. The other will be a means to satisfy you.
......
First become alone. First become so authentically happy that if nobody comes it
doesn't matter.
.....
The person who has lived in his aloneness will always be attracted to another
person who is also living his aloneness beautifully, because like attracts like.
When two masters meet - masters of thier being, of their aloneness - happiness
is not just added, it is multiplied. It becomes a tremendous phenomenon of
celebration. And they don't exploit each other, they share. They don't use each
other. On the contrary, they become one and enjoy the existence that surrounds
them.

---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

http://www.lightworker.com/SacredRooms/

Tom,  Try working the program at this link.   It will help you help yourself.

Good Luck
Bonijean

tom <> wrote:
hello my name is tom i have a wanderful woman and 4 beautiful babies,
we have been together for four years and in that time i have abused
her to no end emotionally.i was abused emotionally as a child and now
i did it too her.For that i am soo sorry.she stood by me and tried to
help me out in so many ways,she took it for that long and now we r
split up.she still loves me dearly and wants to c me get better but
does'nt want me around her tell i can show her improvement,i still
nit pick and fight over stupid shit,im learning to love her but when
i show it i still throw daggers and hurt her emotionally,and i dont
even realize that i am doing it,thats the hard part cause u cant help
ur self if u dont c what yur doing.

please help me get through this,i need her back in my life so bad.i
need to do this for my self and my family.

thank you tom


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Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
If you move into a relationship when you are feeling lonely, then you will
exploit the other. The other will be a means to satisfy you.
......
First become alone. First become so authentically happy that if nobody comes it
doesn't matter.
.....
The person who has lived in his aloneness will always be attracted to another
person who is also living his aloneness beautifully, because like attracts like.
When two masters meet - masters of thier being, of their aloneness - happiness
is not just added, it is multiplied. It becomes a tremendous phenomenon of
celebration. And they don't exploit each other, they share. They don't use each
other. On the contrary, they become one and enjoy the existence that surrounds
them.

---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
New and Improved Yahoo! Mail - Send 10MB messages!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

hello my name is tom i have a wanderful woman and 4 beautiful babies,
we have been together for four years and in that time i have abused
her to no end emotionally.i was abused emotionally as a child and now
i did it too her.For that i am soo sorry.she stood by me and tried to
help me out in so many ways,she took it for that long and now we r
split up.she still loves me dearly and wants to c me get better but
does'nt want me around her tell i can show her improvement,i still
nit pick and fight over stupid shit,im learning to love her but when
i show it i still throw daggers and hurt her emotionally,and i dont
even realize that i am doing it,thats the hard part cause u cant help
ur self if u dont c what yur doing.

please help me get through this,i need her back in my life so bad.i
need to do this for my self and my family.

thank you tom

Check your telephone book - You will find an 800 domestic violence hotline.  
Don't minimize emotional abuse.   It's just as devastating as physical abuse.  
Good Lucky,  Hon - You can do it.

Bonijean

Joy <girzzlybearhug@...> wrote:
i am a victim of EA from my husband. Believe me its bad. I need to
know if anyone out here.. is in a position to help.. I know what i
must do.. yet.. im so scared... scared of him.. scared to even go
home.. so if anyone can help id be greatful
thanks


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Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
"Abuse of any kind is a common, but unacceptable, illness in our
world.  The courage to change those situations is found when
people love themselves enough to say, "No More!"  The fear of
future consequences must be balanced with the understanding that
unless the pattern of allowing abuse is changed, nothing gets
healed.  The understanding is needed that one's own person (and
possibly others) are at risk every time an abuser is allowed to
continue the behavior."

  "There is nothing that has been done to you or that you have done to your self
that the Great  Mystery and the Earth Mother cannot heal."  Earth Medicine by
Jamie Sams

---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi Joy.  I can only be helpful in that I was in your
position and I did leave.
If you have questions, I am here to help.

--- Joy <girzzlybearhug@...> wrote:

> i am a victim of EA from my husband. Believe me its
> bad. I need to
> know if anyone out here.. is in a position to help..
> I know what i
> must do.. yet.. im so scared... scared of him..
> scared to even go
> home.. so if anyone can help id be greatful
> thanks
>
>




__________________________________
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i am a victim of EA from my husband. Believe me its bad. I need to
know if anyone out here.. is in a position to help.. I know what i
must do.. yet.. im so scared... scared of him.. scared to even go
home.. so if anyone can help id be greatful
thanks

Grandfather Creator/Mother Gaia

Thank you for Granting me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot
change. Mean People, Mean Men, Mean Employers, Ad Infinitum. The
realization that God loves them too. God wants them to transform
into nice people nice men, nice employers, ad infinitum progress and
be happy, joyful, prosperous and love.

Thank you for Granting me the Courage to Change so that I am no
longer vulnerable to harm from mean people, mean men, mean
employers, ad infitim Thank you for the nice people in my life.
Thank you for nice men and that special one who will value and
cherish me. Thank you for the new job with a nice employer who
respect and recoginizes how valuable I am to the company. Thank you
for ad infinitum - a comfortable lifestyle.

Thank you that my sons are doing well.

Thank you for Granting me the Wisdom to know what action I need to
take to make this creation a reality. As We Will It So Mote It Be As

I am working on seriously transforming my life.   This site is a great tool for
doing just that.

http://www.lightworker.com/SacredRooms/
Welcome to
The Eight Sacred Rooms
Send this page to a friend
H ere we are creating sacred rooms for people to create, heal and improve
themselves. These rooms are inspired by the channel from the Group: The Sacred
Room
The Eight Sacred Rooms
Suggested Instructions Below



1. Room of Creation.
Start the Miracle and
Create your Reality
2. Room of Fear
Identify and Release
the Fears holding you.
3. Forgiveness.
Letting go of Resentment
4. Healing Room
A Space to Heal.
5. Room of Responsibility
The Balance to
Personal Power

  6. Action Room
Stepping into the Miracle
7. Room of Humor
Adopting the Perspective
of Angels
8. Acceptance
Allow and Accept.
Instructions:
These Eight Sacred Rooms have been set in order for most effective use. Use them
any way you like or allow us to suggest the following:.
1. State your creation in the first room carefully. Be careful what you ask for.
. . you will receive it. Then revisit the room the next day and see if it feels
complete. If it is not complete, reword the creation and post it again. Take as
long as you need until it feels right, posting no more than once in a day. When
you feel complete with your statement, move to the next room.
2. Follow this order with each room until you complete all eight. In each room
find something to say about your creation. If the room topic and suggestions do
not seem to apply to your situation, simply post that in the room and return the
next day and read it again. If it feels complete the next day when you return,
then move to the next room. Understand when writing that you are not writing for
others. This is between you and the Universe.
3. Please use common sense and Re-member that the idea is to create a safe space
for all to heal themselves. This is not a discussion and we ask that you NOT
post a response to any postings in these rooms. If you wish to comment or help
another and they have given their e-mail address, please contact them directly.
If you are not choosing contact do not give your e-mail when posting.
4. There are no spell checkers here but it is possible to write in your word
processor, then cut and paste it in the box. Sorry but the technology does not
let us put paragraph breaks. It is best to keep your post reasonable in length
as it is hard to read without paragraphs. HTML code is not recognized. Please do
not attempt to place pictures or scripts here.
5. Please do not add copyrighted material to this space without permission from
the author.
6. Improving your life can be set into motion in as little as eight days,
however this is not a race. We only ask that you re-member one point. Enjoying
the journey is more important than reaching the destination. Enjoy the ride


Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
"Abuse of any kind is a common, but unacceptable, illness in our
world.  The courage to change those situations is found when
people love themselves enough to say, "No More!"  The fear of
future consequences must be balanced with the understanding that
unless the pattern of allowing abuse is changed, nothing gets
healed.  The understanding is needed that one's own person (and
possibly others) are at risk every time an abuser is allowed to
continue the behavior."

  "There is nothing that has been done to you or that you have done to your self
that the Great  Mystery and the Earth Mother cannot heal."  Earth Medicine by
Jamie Sams

---------------------------------
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New and Improved Yahoo! Mail - Send 10MB messages!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi, are you interested in learning more about bullying from a
clinical and psychological perspective here in the States? If
so, feel free to sign up for my quarterly newsletter at
Yahoo Groups. It is sent out four times a year only and you
do not need to worry about a lot of spam and unwanted
messages. Also, it is FREE and your name and email address
are kept private from the public as well as other members as
I do not want anyone getting in there thinking they can take
addresses and sell them (NOT cool!). It has become a good
tool in educating and making others aware of the findings on
bullying and peer abuse and how it applies to physical and
mental issues for both the bully and the target/victim. The
latest edition went out this past weekend and touched
upon "Relational Aggression" which is found in girls and
women who bully. In November, I will touch upon men and boys
who bully as the styles are different. To check it out, visit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/peerabuse
  to learn more. If you
do not have a Yahoo account, feel free to email me at
elizabethbennett@... and will be more than happy
to sign you up, not a problem.

Also, are you an adult who was bullied as a child? If so,
please feel free to email me at paknowmore@... to learn
more. Confidentiality is also MAJOR here and do not sell
email addresses as that stinks!

Thanks for reading and have a good evening. I am not trying
to spam here, just raising the awareness of a problem that
has been out of control for TOO LONG!

Best Regards,
Elizabeth Bennett
http://www.peerabuse.info

State Coalitions | National Organizations
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is staffed 24 hours a day by trained
counselors who can provide crisis assistance and information about shelters,
legal advocacy, health care centers, and counseling.
The Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN) will automatically transfer you
to the rape crisis center nearest you, anywhere in the nation. It can be used as
a last resort if people cannot find a domestic violence shelter. 1-800-656-HOPE
National Domestic
Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)
http://www.feminist.org/911/crisis.html


kaylou80120 <dkaylee@...> wrote:Look in your local phone book as they have
lists of
shelters or call your local hospital they might know of
a group as they deal with a lot of this.  They can direct you
to help around your area.

Good luck.



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---------------------------------
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    Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.




Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
"Abuse of any kind is a common, but unacceptable, illness in our
world.  The courage to change those situations is found when
people love themselves enough to say, "No More!"  The fear of
future consequences must be balanced with the understanding that
unless the pattern of allowing abuse is changed, nothing gets
healed.  The understanding is needed that one's own person (and
possibly others) are at risk every time an abuser is allowed to
continue the behavior."

  "There is nothing that has been done to you or that you have done to your self
that the Great  Mystery and the Earth Mother cannot heal."  Earth Medicine by
Jamie Sams
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I know this is very difficult for you but she is going to has to be
the one who reaches out for help.   You can't do it for her.

-- In emotionalabuse@yahoogroups.com, "kaylou80120" <dkaylee@a...>
wrote:
> Look in your local phone book as they have lists of
> shelters or call your local hospital they might know of
> a group as they deal with a lot of this.  They can direct you
> to help around your area.
>
> Good luck.

There are plenty of resources for dealing with abusive spouses but
not too many for dealing with abusive employers.  When I realized
that a male supervisor had chosen me for a target.  I immediately
started looking for another job.   I talked to a limo service and two
trucking recruiters.   I wrote a letter to the Governor about this
man's abusive treatment of women.   I was fired.   I was planning to
leave the job anyway.   Now I get to go to trucking school about
three weeks sooner than I planned.   LOL!   If that bully had not
ticked me off, I might have stayed with that company another year,
making $6.25 an hour.  lots of 12 hour days, 60 plus hour work weeks,
no holidays, no benefits and still gross less than $10,000 a year.
Now I get to start at $31,000 a year with benefits.   The best
revenge is success.

--- In emotionalabuse@yahoogroups.com, "kaylou80120" <dkaylee@a...>
wrote:
> Keep talking until she gets it.  I was never in a marriage
> like that but I was abused by my boss.  We were together
> for more time than he was with his girlfriend. He made me
> afraid just like your sister and I was stupid enough to stay
> and take it.  Get her to a shelter if you can before it is
> to late. Get her counseling and help her wake of to the fact
> she doesn't have to take that from anyone.
>
> Good Luck

Look in your local phone book as they have lists of
shelters or call your local hospital they might know of
a group as they deal with a lot of this.  They can direct you
to help around your area.

Good luck.

Thankyou for responding,

How do we find out about shelters in our areas and how do we get her to talk to
an abuse hotline I know that we can't help someone who doesn't want to help
themselfs but i know she wants to be helped cause if she didn't she would have
never got us involved.  He has her so manipulated to where she is afraid of
leaving him for good. Is there anyone who will contact her instead of her having
to contact them?

Bonijean Wyldbirch Isaacs <interstate_goddess@...> wrote:
There is not a whole lot you can do until she is ready to go.   I was in contact
with a Domestic Violence Group for over a year before, I finally left.   Since
it was mostly, put - downs, nit-picking, accusations, and constant verbal
hammering - I wasn't even sure that my feelings of being beat-up all the time
were even valid.   It did eventually escaulate into physical violence.   The
first time, it occurred to me that "there might be something wrong with this
marriage."   I sought counseling.    The second time,  I left.

Encourage your sister to talk to someone on a domestic violence hot-line.  She
needs to keep all her important papers in one place.  She might even keep a
suit-case at your house.  Find a place to go where he is not likely to have a
clue about where he is.   The biggest danger is getting charmed into coming
back.    I was planning to leave in June after my son finished school but I left
in May.   I climbed out of a window with my two boys,  we went to a friend who
he didn't know, the next day I was in a shelter.


katyf_rt <katyf_rt@...> wrote:
My husband and I are try to help his sister who is 21years old and
is a relationship in which she has no say so her husband has her
every move controlled so much that he has tried to leave him over 10
times and some how he eposes such a fear in her that she goes back
with him.  She has told us she wants him to physically hurt her so
she has a big enought reason to leave him because acording to him
the reasons she has used are not good enough.  She has told me in
more than one ocation that she has considerd suicied, we are all
very worried about her and don't know how to help we have ofered all
our suport but he always talks her back into going home with him.
What can we do if someone can help we are ready for so proffetional
help.

Katy





Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
"Abuse of any kind is a common, but unacceptable, illness in our
world.  The courage to change those situations is found when
people love themselves enough to say, "No More!"  The fear of
future consequences must be balanced with the understanding that
unless the pattern of allowing abuse is changed, nothing gets
healed.  The understanding is needed that one's own person (and
possibly others) are at risk every time an abuser is allowed to
continue the behavior."

"There is nothing that has been done to you or that you have done to your self
that the Great  Mystery and the Earth Mother cannot heal."  Earth Medicine by
Jamie Sams
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT


---------------------------------
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    To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/emotionalabuse/

    To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
emotionalabuse-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

    Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.



---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Keep talking until she gets it.  I was never in a marriage
like that but I was abused by my boss.  We were together
for more time than he was with his girlfriend. He made me
afraid just like your sister and I was stupid enough to stay
and take it.  Get her to a shelter if you can before it is
to late. Get her counseling and help her wake of to the fact
she doesn't have to take that from anyone.

Good Luck

There is not a whole lot you can do until she is ready to go.   I was in contact
with a Domestic Violence Group for over a year before, I finally left.   Since
it was mostly, put - downs, nit-picking, accusations, and constant verbal
hammering - I wasn't even sure that my feelings of being beat-up all the time
were even valid.   It did eventually escaulate into physical violence.   The
first time, it occurred to me that "there might be something wrong with this
marriage."   I sought counseling.    The second time,  I left.

Encourage your sister to talk to someone on a domestic violence hot-line.  She
needs to keep all her important papers in one place.  She might even keep a
suit-case at your house.  Find a place to go where he is not likely to have a
clue about where he is.   The biggest danger is getting charmed into coming
back.    I was planning to leave in June after my son finished school but I left
in May.   I climbed out of a window with my two boys,  we went to a friend who
he didn't know, the next day I was in a shelter.


katyf_rt <katyf_rt@...> wrote:
My husband and I are try to help his sister who is 21years old and
is a relationship in which she has no say so her husband has her
every move controlled so much that he has tried to leave him over 10
times and some how he eposes such a fear in her that she goes back
with him.  She has told us she wants him to physically hurt her so
she has a big enought reason to leave him because acording to him
the reasons she has used are not good enough.  She has told me in
more than one ocation that she has considerd suicied, we are all
very worried about her and don't know how to help we have ofered all
our suport but he always talks her back into going home with him.
What can we do if someone can help we are ready for so proffetional
help.

Katy





Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
"Abuse of any kind is a common, but unacceptable, illness in our
world.  The courage to change those situations is found when
people love themselves enough to say, "No More!"  The fear of
future consequences must be balanced with the understanding that
unless the pattern of allowing abuse is changed, nothing gets
healed.  The understanding is needed that one's own person (and
possibly others) are at risk every time an abuser is allowed to
continue the behavior."

  "There is nothing that has been done to you or that you have done to your self
that the Great  Mystery and the Earth Mother cannot heal."  Earth Medicine by
Jamie Sams
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

My husband and I are try to help his sister who is 21years old and
is a relationship in which she has no say so her husband has her
every move controlled so much that he has tried to leave him over 10
times and some how he eposes such a fear in her that she goes back
with him.  She has told us she wants him to physically hurt her so
she has a big enought reason to leave him because acording to him
the reasons she has used are not good enough.  She has told me in
more than one ocation that she has considerd suicied, we are all
very worried about her and don't know how to help we have ofered all
our suport but he always talks her back into going home with him.
What can we do if someone can help we are ready for so proffetional
help.

Katy

The man is a meanspirted pig and that's an insult to pigs.

kaylou80120 <dkaylee@...> wrote:Thank you for the encouragement in my
problem.  I know that
he caused me a lot of needless pain, both emotional and physcial.
I am still finding fault with myself and making excuses for what he
did.  If anyone can suggest something to help, please let me know.




Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
"Abuse of any kind is a common, but unacceptable, illness in our
world.  The courage to change those situations is found when
people love themselves enough to say, "No More!"  The fear of
future consequences must be balanced with the understanding that
unless the pattern of allowing abuse is changed, nothing gets
healed.  The understanding is needed that one's own person (and
possibly others) are at risk every time an abuser is allowed to
continue the behavior."

  "There is nothing that has been done to you or that you have done to your self
that the Great  Mystery and the Earth Mother cannot heal."  Earth Medicine by
Jamie Sams

---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail Address AutoComplete - You start. We finish.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Thank you for the encouragement in my problem.  I know that
he caused me a lot of needless pain, both emotional and physcial.
I am still finding fault with myself and making excuses for what he
did.  If anyone can suggest something to help, please let me know.

Report the worm on the ripoff report.

I was fired for writing a letter to the governor about the abusive
supervisor.  They are not happy.

-- In emotionalabuse@yahoogroups.com, "Bonijean Isaacs"
<interstate_goddess@y...> wrote:
> Rippoff Report.com
> Rippoff Report.com. Report Your  Company here. Anything from non-
> payment to Sexual Assault. Don't let your Company get away with
> Ripping you off. Fight back, They don't want bad publicity.
> http://www.ripoffreport.com/default.asp
>
>




Contact Governor Wise
1900 Kanawha Boulevard, E
Charleston, WV 25305
Toll-Free: 1-888-438-2731

Ms. Bonijean I.
Thank you for your comments. Your message has been submitted for
review.



Other - Courtesty Patrol and WorkPlace Abuse
Unemployment Benefits eventually ran and Courtesy Patrol came along.
This job was a Godsend. I fell in love with the Transportation
Industry. If I make a mistake, I take responsibility for the mistake,
learn from it and move forward. Management won't allow that. Their
policy is to belittle and humiliate drivers. The field supervisor is
cruel. I have been told that he is just implementing the policies of
director. Drivers tell me that they too are being nit-picked apart
and abused. I am inclined to believe that I am a target because I
stand up to them and I WILL blow the whistle. I came home tonight,
screaming, crying, shaking. I felt close to having a nervous break-
down. I called the Seneca Mental Health Hot Line. Tommorrow, I am
talking to a recuiter for a trucking company. Friday, I am going to
go apply for a Class D licence and talk to some tow truck companies.
I can't stay in a hostile work enviorment. It will make me sick.
Still, I know that other drivers are also abused. The Welfare
Department send them to Courtesty Patrol in good faith. A lot of
women get into the predictment that they do because of abusive
spouses. They don't need to be abused by an employer too. I am
writing this letter because I would like for Courtesty Patrol to be a
better place for the drivers to be. The purpose is good but the abuse
has to stop. I tried to appeal to management but they seem to be one
unhappy disfunctional family. This is a State Sponsored Program.
Maybe you can help them.

Blessed Be

Bonijean
Fort Spring, WV
U.S.A.

Rippoff Report.com
Rippoff Report.com. Report Your  Company here. Anything from non-
payment to Sexual Assault. Don't let your Company get away with
Ripping you off. Fight back, They don't want bad publicity.
http://www.ripoffreport.com/default.asp

--- In emotionalabuse@yahoogroups.com, Bonijean Wyldbirch Isaacs
<interstate_goddess@y...> wrote:
> What this man has done to you is a form of psychic rape.   He gets
his jollies humiliating women.    It is like being in a marriage with
an abusive spouse.  Nothing you do will be good enough for him.   It
is not you.
>
>

What this man has done to you is a form of psychic rape.   He gets his jollies
humiliating women.    It is like being in a marriage with an abusive spouse. 
Nothing you do will be good enough for him.   It is not you.

http://www.bankrate.com/brm/news/advice/20011102a.asp?prodtype=advice

kaylou80120 <dkaylee@...> wrote:
I'm 51 and worked for a chiropractor 34. I had 33 years of experience
in chiropractic and a year and a half working for a Law firm. It was
fine for the first 2 weeks and I understood when he hovered around
the desk at first. I tried to reassure him that I knew what I was
doing and I did ask for help on somethings. He started to get more
controlling then. If I wrote a letter he would said it was awful and
he would do it himself. This happened time after time until I quit
doing it.When I tried to talk to him about things he got angry and
walked away. The problem was mine and he didn't want to hear it. He
blamed me for everything no matter what. It was my fault that he
wasn't getting enough patients. It was my fault that people weren't
coming back to see him. On and on. Nothing I said or did was right. I
was so afraid to do anything in front of him that I made more
mistakes. I told him I was afraid of him and that he intimidated me.
He would not talk to me. Again it was my fault so I tried harder. I
came in early, worked through my lunch hour and stayed late trying to
figure out what I was doing wrong. Nohting helped but the blame
continued. He made me feel so uncomfortable. He was always coming up
to me and hugging me suddenly. I was afraid to tell him not to. He
asked me out to lunch but I found excuses not to after going out with
him twice and I found excuses not to have him adjust me which made
him more angry still. I was not sleeping more than an hour each night.
I stopped eating for days and my physcial health went down hill.  I
was getting migraines regularly. My neck, shoulders and arms hurts so
much that I could hardly stand it and when I told him about it he
just laugh and say how good the weight loss was and could he buy me a
gym membership so I could lose the rest. Not once did he suggest that
I go see a doctor. I stuck it out because he made me feel so badly
that I knew that no one else would hire me. He played on that as well
always commenting on how old I was. He finally fired me saying I
wasn't doing enough. I went out to lunch with 2 female patients and
he was angry because I should have been going with someone to promote
his business instead. He didn't like me talking to the patients as he
was the star and wanted to be in the spotlight at all times. He
demanded my full attention at all times and he became angry when I
didn't give it to him. I feel this was abuse but was it only me?


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Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
"Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands. Remember all
men would be tyrants if they could, " quoted by Abigail Adams

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