--- In emotionalabuse@yahoogroups.com, "mjsmoller" <jabber1997@h...> wrote:
> Responses below.
>
>
> --- In emotionalabuse@yahoogroups.com, "snucybug2003"
> <snucybug2003@y...> wrote:
>
> >I am amazed at how similar my
> > experiences are in the mental health field as well. They do not
> train you, do not show
> > you how to do anything, then blame you for every mistake, berrate
> you, criticize your
> > every move and mistake, blame you for other's mistakes, ridicule
> you in front of others.
>
> --Yes yes yes! My first day running a therapy group as a
> student in training, they expressly said it was "okay to observe"
> and "nothing's wrong in social work." So of course I observed, not
> knowing the policies on physical restraint of little kids (they were
> spitfire all over the room, not listening to us) or what's verbally
> appropriate to say to intervene (Contrary to popular therapist
> opinion, it is not "common sense" how to discipline an emotionally-
> disturbed kid who's out of control). When the group was over, which
> of course was chaotic, I got a lecture from my boss (including harsh
> comments in my process recording) about how I need to remember that
> safety is our legal responsibility, how I could have gotten the
> agency in big legal do-do if a child got hurt, and how I need to
> remember that I am a therapist ("this was your job") and not a group
> observer. And that the licensed therapist is relying on me to
> be "much more involved than that." also, the fact that the ADHD
> children weren't perfect little angels in the hallway obviously meant
> I was doing something wrong too ("They should be lined up, mouths
> quiet, and walking slowly.), and could "make the agency look bad to
> the school if I disrupt classes." (Uh no, it's the kids disrupting
> class, not me. I CAN'T PHYSICALLY STOP THEM FOR PETE'S SAKES! I told
> them a dozen times to be quiet, put hands on their shoulders, etc.,
> and they still ran wild).
>
> Huh??!!! Was I not expressly told to observe on my first
> day? Besides, who died and made me auxiliary discipline committee?
> I'm there to learn, not to discipline the kids that the licensed
> therapist can't control!! That was HER responsibility, not mine!!
> It's her group for crying out loud!!! And if the agency is ever sued
> for safety, I will not take the blame and I will not be the one to
> pay. I'm there to be trained, not to be perfect my first day.
>
> > Classic abuse, yes. Illegal, yes too. People need to take them to
> court. They are acting
> > wrongfully, illegally and the courts need to stop them.
>
> --I know, and while I think that companies are great on sexual
> harrassment policy, they need to go beyond sex and realize that
> disrespectful treatment is often anything but sexual. It's kind of
> like the high schools who will flip a top if two kids make out, but
> if one kid tells the other he's worthless every day, the school turns
> a blind eye.
>
> > telling you that you are doing everything they ask(as you are)
> then, falsifying
> > performance papers making you look bad
>
> --At my old job in residential care, the supervisor marked me
> down to a 2 out of 5 for "appearance," explaining that my lack of
> confidence is apparent to the children. Didn't do anything to try
> and increase the confidence though.
>
> >if you ask questions, they shun you, say they have
> > no time, then blame you when you don't know something.
>
> --Exactly, or they tell you that you can't ask questions on the
> job because it was your responsibility to have read the manual on the
> one training day they gave you and memorize everything. I once had a
> director who said "go ahead and ask questions on shift," and then the
> staff would get in my face and say "that's your responsibility to
> know . Why do you even work here if you don't know that?"
>
> Also, last week at my agency, a child became suicidal and said so
> in a room where I was present but was trying to control the other
> children while the suicidal boy whispered it to my co-therapist. Did
> I get credit for stepping in and helping so she could intervene? No--
> In fact, they were shocked that I was "so out of it" that I didn't
> realize that a child was suicidal. And did I know that "when a
> person wants to die, that it's a serious thing? Does that register
> with you?" All because i didn't hear something that was whispered to
> someone else. And it was really insensisitve because how do they
> know that I haven't lost someone to death or suicide? I think it was
> really inappropriate for them to say that directly to me.
>
> They try to get you to believe
> > lose all self respect, confidence and self worth, then they can
> more easily control you, is
> > the idea.
>
> --Or telling you that if you can't control a bunch of delinquent
> or emotionally/behaviorally-challenged kids, that you'll be a lousy
> parent because chidl discipline is "common sense." Telling you that
> mistakes can get a whole agency shut down or in legal trouble; that
> the mistake you just made jeopardized the agency's insurance,
> reputation, and liability for a minor slipup.
>
>
> The worst is being new, they know they 'got you'. I read a book in
> which all
> > the abuse is described and outlined in detail: they test you, then
> set you up for abuse in
> > various ways, it is all planned.
>
> --Title and author please? I'm buying it. :-)

>
>
> thanks for the support!




Hi! I'm so glad to see you are still here! The book is called "The Dragon
Complex:
Strategies for Identifying and Conquering Workplace Abuse" by Winnifred Taylor,
Patrick Dorin. It is fascinating.

Last week, one week after I submited a formal complaint against my supervisor
for
verbally and emotionally abusing me, the HR representative and one other met
with
me to discuss my concerns. They handed me one letter that said they did not
find
any evidence to substantiate my allegations and a second letter saying I was
fired.

I am trying to sue the company. There are some laws now, but not many regarding
abuse in the workplace. There is a whistleblower statute that says you cannot
fire
someone for complaining and I hope to win a case against the company based on
this
statute. I am contacting lawyers.

I am sorry to hear that it is all so similar in your workplace too. Sounds like
you are
getting a lot of verbal and emotional abuse as well. There needs to be laws to
protect
people from the verbal and emotional abuse, like you say, we have some
protecting
from sexual harrassment and other forms of abuse, but as you say, the verbal and
psychological is just as, if not more harmful to people. Exactly, like you say,
kids can
torment other kids verbally and noone does anything. Then murders or suicides
take
place and people become alarmed, a bit late. Suppose it is up to people like
you and
me to teach people that this form of abuse needs to stop and needs to be illegal
as
other forms are, and to hold people accountable and encourage laws to be passed
to
protect people. I really hope to win a case against my former employer. I am
so
angry that businesses are treating employees like this and trying to get away
with it.

What state do you live in? I am in Arizona.

Take care,
Blessings:)