Responses below.


--- In emotionalabuse@yahoogroups.com, "snucybug2003"
<snucybug2003@y...> wrote:

>I am amazed at how similar my
> experiences are in the mental health field as well. They do not
train you, do not show
> you how to do anything, then blame you for every mistake, berrate
you, criticize your
> every move and mistake, blame you for other's mistakes, ridicule
you in front of others.

--Yes yes yes! My first day running a therapy group as a
student in training, they expressly said it was "okay to observe"
and "nothing's wrong in social work." So of course I observed, not
knowing the policies on physical restraint of little kids (they were
spitfire all over the room, not listening to us) or what's verbally
appropriate to say to intervene (Contrary to popular therapist
opinion, it is not "common sense" how to discipline an emotionally-
disturbed kid who's out of control). When the group was over, which
of course was chaotic, I got a lecture from my boss (including harsh
comments in my process recording) about how I need to remember that
safety is our legal responsibility, how I could have gotten the
agency in big legal do-do if a child got hurt, and how I need to
remember that I am a therapist ("this was your job") and not a group
observer. And that the licensed therapist is relying on me to
be "much more involved than that." also, the fact that the ADHD
children weren't perfect little angels in the hallway obviously meant
I was doing something wrong too ("They should be lined up, mouths
quiet, and walking slowly.), and could "make the agency look bad to
the school if I disrupt classes." (Uh no, it's the kids disrupting
class, not me. I CAN'T PHYSICALLY STOP THEM FOR PETE'S SAKES! I told
them a dozen times to be quiet, put hands on their shoulders, etc.,
and they still ran wild).

Huh??!!! Was I not expressly told to observe on my first
day? Besides, who died and made me auxiliary discipline committee?
I'm there to learn, not to discipline the kids that the licensed
therapist can't control!! That was HER responsibility, not mine!!
It's her group for crying out loud!!! And if the agency is ever sued
for safety, I will not take the blame and I will not be the one to
pay. I'm there to be trained, not to be perfect my first day.

> Classic abuse, yes. Illegal, yes too. People need to take them to
court. They are acting
> wrongfully, illegally and the courts need to stop them.

--I know, and while I think that companies are great on sexual
harrassment policy, they need to go beyond sex and realize that
disrespectful treatment is often anything but sexual. It's kind of
like the high schools who will flip a top if two kids make out, but
if one kid tells the other he's worthless every day, the school turns
a blind eye.

> telling you that you are doing everything they ask(as you are)
then, falsifying
> performance papers making you look bad

--At my old job in residential care, the supervisor marked me
down to a 2 out of 5 for "appearance," explaining that my lack of
confidence is apparent to the children. Didn't do anything to try
and increase the confidence though.

>if you ask questions, they shun you, say they have
> no time, then blame you when you don't know something.

--Exactly, or they tell you that you can't ask questions on the
job because it was your responsibility to have read the manual on the
one training day they gave you and memorize everything. I once had a
director who said "go ahead and ask questions on shift," and then the
staff would get in my face and say "that's your responsibility to
know . Why do you even work here if you don't know that?"

Also, last week at my agency, a child became suicidal and said so
in a room where I was present but was trying to control the other
children while the suicidal boy whispered it to my co-therapist. Did
I get credit for stepping in and helping so she could intervene? No--
In fact, they were shocked that I was "so out of it" that I didn't
realize that a child was suicidal. And did I know that "when a
person wants to die, that it's a serious thing? Does that register
with you?" All because i didn't hear something that was whispered to
someone else. And it was really insensisitve because how do they
know that I haven't lost someone to death or suicide? I think it was
really inappropriate for them to say that directly to me.

They try to get you to believe
> lose all self respect, confidence and self worth, then they can
more easily control you, is
> the idea.

--Or telling you that if you can't control a bunch of delinquent
or emotionally/behaviorally-challenged kids, that you'll be a lousy
parent because chidl discipline is "common sense." Telling you that
mistakes can get a whole agency shut down or in legal trouble; that
the mistake you just made jeopardized the agency's insurance,
reputation, and liability for a minor slipup.


The worst is being new, they know they 'got you'. I read a book in
which all
> the abuse is described and outlined in detail: they test you, then
set you up for abuse in
> various ways, it is all planned.

--Title and author please? I'm buying it. :-)


thanks for the support!