Yes, from your description he is an abuser. My suggestion is to read one book,
The Verbally Abusive Relationship, by Patricia Evans. If you can't afford to
buy it new, you can most likely check it out of your local library, or find a
copy in a used bookstore.

It is tempting to want to try and give more chances. However, you are doing the
best thing for your emotional, mental and spiritual health, and your baby's
mental, emotional and spiritual health, by cutting off the relationship. Do not
give mixed signals, do not seek him out, do not go places where he's likely to
be, do not ask about him, don't hang out with his friends, and do not give him
more chances.

About him suddenly wanting to become the man you want him to be--if your
feelings and your needs were important to him while you were together--he would
have consistently been that kind of "good" man throughout the course of your
relationship. As it was, it sounds like over time he became less and less of a
"nice guy" and more and more who he really was, not a "nice guy" at all.

About the baby--if you have not formally established paternity, I would
recommend that you seek legal advice and do so at a later date. For now do not
have any contact with him whatsoever and he will go away once he has found
someone else to bully/abuse.

If you have already established paternity and support, or once you do start
support proceedings SERIOUSLY consider offering him an "out" on paying any
support, or a substantial reduction in support, if he will sign away his
parental rights and not make any future claims for time, parenting, etc.

If you don't do this you WILL have to deal with this jerk for 18 more years, and
he will in all likelihood utilize his role as your baby's father to harass,
humiliate, intimidate, abuse, bully and in general jerk your chain just because
this is the biggest way he can get to you.

He will bother you for some time, until someone else comes along that he can
abuse. Hold strong and have patience. This too will pass.

rbarry01907 <rbarry01907@...> wrote:
I have a question that maybe some of you can answer for me. Last week
I broke up with my abusive? boyfriend. He says that he was not
abusive cause he did not ever hit me. But he yelled and screamed at
me every day, called me all sorts of names, threw things at me,
threatened me. I could never talk to him about anything all he would
do was roll his eyes at me and act like he was annoyed that he was
expected to listen to me and keep watching the tv and refuse to even
look at me. He is calling me over and over again I am refusing to
talk to him or see him. He is sending me emails about how he is going
to change and he wants me to change him into the man I want him to be
and all sorts of stuff like that. I don't want to get back together
with him, i just want him out of my life which is hard because we have
a baby together. I don't even love him anymore cause every time I was
with him I was always tense and edgy, always waiting for him to throw
another tantrum and blame it on me. If something wasn't my fault then
it was someone elses, nothing was ever his own fault. I guess my
question is do you consider him abusive? Also how can I get him to
leave me alone. He won't stop calling me.


Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
emotionalabuse-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com



Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.



---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Free online calendar with sync to Outlook(TM).

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]