If anyone is wondering in the autism groups y you got the previous email- i know
y I have PDD symptoms. I figured it out with a T I had a few years ago. . . .
please don't judge me. This is very hard for me to say, even typing. (Even if
you know part of my story already, please read all the way thru, cuz I'm telling
you things I've not said yet.)

*mentions sexual abuse and the cost you pay*
S
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T
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I was mokested the week before my 13th birthday. It happened by a guy that
wanted to get to know my mother. Well he blew it, obviously.
I was in summer school (by choice) at the time. It was Wednesday, June 23, 1993.
In MayI had read an article in TEEN magazine (back when it was good) titled "I
Was exually Abused." I swore that that would never happen to me. I was wrong.
I came home from school, and thios guy was there. The phone rang. Mom went to
answer. I sat next to him, don't ask me why. He went up the back of my top,
trying to unsnap my bra. Then . . . he . . . went . . . down . . . my pants . .
. inside my underwear. He was playing with me . . . I was disgusted, but does it
make sense at all that I was turned on at the same time? I've never told anyone
this . . . does that make me sick? Does that mean I wanted it? I didn't . . . I
moved away, to my great grandmothers rocking chair . . . he asked me to come
back and sit next to him, I said no. I was more comfortable where I was.
Mom came out of the bedroom, we went to the bank, or something . . . Mom left
the car, and he turned around and . . . he . . . said he was SORRY! SORRY! FOR
WHAT HE DID TO ME! I don't remember saying much to him . . . Mom got back in
the car, and he said to her, "Your daughter doesn't like me." I wonder why? She
asked why I didn't like him, and I rtold her that I wanted her to date one of
her friends instead of this guy.
He got five years. In my opinion that wan't enough.
FASTFORWARD FASTFORWARD FASTFORWARD
November 99 I met this guy on the dateline I used. I started . . . giving
myself to him for money. I needed the money, and I couldn't see myself with him
because of the way he was . . . he was a womanizer, still is . . . the
sex-for-money thing lasted for 2 years. He raped me once, anally- I had told him
that he could go there, but we had an agreement that if I sdaid STOP he would .
. . he didn't . . . I threw him out . . . I got paddled with a slotted spoon by
a friend of mine- it was agreed upon mutually if I ever slept with this
particular guy again- and I didn't see the guy for a few months. Until October,
November 2001. I did it again, and was honest with my friend about it. He almost
left me for good because of it. I called the guy up and told him- don't ever
EVER call me again. I've seen the guy since then, but he knew that he couldn't
touch me, because at that time when I saw him I was living with my friend, and
this guy knew that my friend would beat his @$$ if he tried
anything. I haven't seen the guy since late 2003. And I don't plan to.
I have to date slept with/messed around with over 15 guys, starting when I was
16. I always try to use protection, but not always. I'm better than I use to be,
I guess.

hugs, tired

Anna






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