Hi Cuteshortee83,

You have asked for help and I feel for you. your boyfriend sounds
just like the descripion of a narcissist, described in websites such
as http://www.narcissism101.com/Narcissism2.html and
www.bullyonline.org. These sites, as well as providing insight, also
provide guidelines on how to leave the relationship safely. I know
you say you can't let him go, but the fact is that his abuse will
only get worse and you will only feel more miserable, so I suggest
you cut your losses and get out as soon as possible. Leaving an
abusive partner can be very hazardous (so can staying), so I suggest
you plan it and use any local help you can get; a trustworthy and
wise person, a relative, counselling services, any groups you belong
to etc.

Take care,
pinknoizz


--- In emotionalabuse@yahoogroups.com, "ask and i might tell you :)"
<cuteshortee83@y...> wrote:
>
> I am 21 years old, I have been living with my boyfriend for the
past
> year. Until today I came to the realization that I cannot hold back
> what I am feeling anymore. Everyday I am in fear of going home or
> seeing him, not knowing if he is going to be in a good mood or bad
> mood, not knowing what names will he call me. His favorite name to
> call me is "cunt" "stupid bitch" It hurts so much to know that the
> person you love the most, would actually hurt you in such a way.
>
> I don't find the courage to let him go. I recognize is not a
healthy
> relationship, but why can't I let him go? Why is it so hard,
although
> I know he is cruel and abusive.
>
> I cannot go out with my only friend, unless I ask his permission. I
> feel ashame and embarrassed. He makes me feel as If I was not even
> worth anything.
>
> I know Im young, and I dont need to put with it, but how can I stop
> from hurting? I just want to feel free and at ease with myself. I
> dont want to be afraid anymore.