There is a cycle of abuse that keeps victims ( and you are a victim) within that
cycle. You are not to blame.

You need to know that you can make it out. I did, with a baby under one. Get
some supports around you to help you through, example call women's shelters,
they have counsellors that you can talk to and help you through it. Talk to
friends, relatives etc. You have made the first step which is accepting the
reality of what's happening. I know it is scary and the other side is
frightening and it isn't easy but you can do it.

If I may offer some advice, and I know advice is easy to give but hard to follow
through with, it only gets more difficult the longer you stay. And the abuse
will get worse and continue. I suffered for 7 years. I wish I could have had
the realization that you did at such and early stage in my relationship. The
cost to you, your self-esteem, your finances, everything is more and more the
longer you stay.

Since I've left him there has been one piece of advise that has really rung true
for me "Love shouldn't hurt". I hope I have helped you in some way. I have
been where you are and I'm here to say you can do it. All the best because you
deserve it.

"ask and i might tell you :)" <cuteshortee83@...> wrote:

I am 21 years old, I have been living with my boyfriend for the past
year. Until today I came to the realization that I cannot hold back
what I am feeling anymore. Everyday I am in fear of going home or
seeing him, not knowing if he is going to be in a good mood or bad
mood, not knowing what names will he call me. His favorite name to
call me is "cunt" "stupid bitch" It hurts so much to know that the
person you love the most, would actually hurt you in such a way.

I don't find the courage to let him go. I recognize is not a healthy
relationship, but why can't I let him go? Why is it so hard, although
I know he is cruel and abusive.

I cannot go out with my only friend, unless I ask his permission. I
feel ashame and embarrassed. He makes me feel as If I was not even
worth anything.

I know Im young, and I dont need to put with it, but how can I stop
from hurting? I just want to feel free and at ease with myself. I
dont want to be afraid anymore.




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