I am 21 years old, I have been living with my boyfriend for the past
year. Until today I came to the realization that I cannot hold back
what I am feeling anymore. Everyday I am in fear of going home or
seeing him, not knowing if he is going to be in a good mood or bad
mood, not knowing what names will he call me. His favorite name to
call me is "cunt" "stupid bitch" It hurts so much to know that the
person you love the most, would actually hurt you in such a way.

I don't find the courage to let him go. I recognize is not a healthy
relationship, but why can't I let him go? Why is it so hard, although
I know he is cruel and abusive.

I cannot go out with my only friend, unless I ask his permission. I
feel ashame and embarrassed. He makes me feel as If I was not even
worth anything.

I know Im young, and I dont need to put with it, but how can I stop
from hurting? I just want to feel free and at ease with myself. I
dont want to be afraid anymore.