Thankyou for responding,

How do we find out about shelters in our areas and how do we get her to talk to
an abuse hotline I know that we can't help someone who doesn't want to help
themselfs but i know she wants to be helped cause if she didn't she would have
never got us involved. He has her so manipulated to where she is afraid of
leaving him for good. Is there anyone who will contact her instead of her having
to contact them?

Bonijean Wyldbirch Isaacs <interstate_goddess@...> wrote:
There is not a whole lot you can do until she is ready to go. I was in contact
with a Domestic Violence Group for over a year before, I finally left. Since
it was mostly, put - downs, nit-picking, accusations, and constant verbal
hammering - I wasn't even sure that my feelings of being beat-up all the time
were even valid. It did eventually escaulate into physical violence. The
first time, it occurred to me that "there might be something wrong with this
marriage." I sought counseling. The second time, I left.

Encourage your sister to talk to someone on a domestic violence hot-line. She
needs to keep all her important papers in one place. She might even keep a
suit-case at your house. Find a place to go where he is not likely to have a
clue about where he is. The biggest danger is getting charmed into coming
back. I was planning to leave in June after my son finished school but I left
in May. I climbed out of a window with my two boys, we went to a friend who
he didn't know, the next day I was in a shelter.


katyf_rt <katyf_rt@...> wrote:
My husband and I are try to help his sister who is 21years old and
is a relationship in which she has no say so her husband has her
every move controlled so much that he has tried to leave him over 10
times and some how he eposes such a fear in her that she goes back
with him. She has told us she wants him to physically hurt her so
she has a big enought reason to leave him because acording to him
the reasons she has used are not good enough. She has told me in
more than one ocation that she has considerd suicied, we are all
very worried about her and don't know how to help we have ofered all
our suport but he always talks her back into going home with him.
What can we do if someone can help we are ready for so proffetional
help.

Katy





Blessed Be
Bonijean "Wyldbirch" Isaacs @2004 all rights reserved
11-27-77
"Abuse of any kind is a common, but unacceptable, illness in our
world. The courage to change those situations is found when
people love themselves enough to say, "No More!" The fear of
future consequences must be balanced with the understanding that
unless the pattern of allowing abuse is changed, nothing gets
healed. The understanding is needed that one's own person (and
possibly others) are at risk every time an abuser is allowed to
continue the behavior."

"There is nothing that has been done to you or that you have done to your self
that the Great Mystery and the Earth Mother cannot heal." Earth Medicine by
Jamie Sams
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