Its been over a year since I gave my notice at this place, and I'm
just now realizing that I was abused. Right now I feel stupid for
even buying into this guy's manipulations and lies at the beginning,
and for not getting out sooner. And then I feel really angry like I
want to get revenge, I want him to pay for what he did to me, but I
have no proof and it seems like no one in this country cares when an
employer abuses an employee.

Ok this is really really long so be prepared.

I'd been working at a bank as a loan processor for over a year. It
was a pretty bad experience, and I felt like they were working us
into the ground. They kept saying that they were going to make things
better for us, but it was just a nightmare. I felt so burned out, I
was getting migraines and was very depressed and completely
exhausted.

I found a job at a mortgage company, and the guy in charge, we'll
call him Brad, seemed so nice and supportive. He was around my age
and told me that I was a high achiever and that I would go far in the
business, and that he was going to teach me everything that he
learned. He kept going on about how long he'd worked in the field and
how good he was at his job and how far he'd come. He even told me
that he could see me becoming a loan officer eventually.

I told him that I was really burned out and tired of being asked to
work miracles, and that I didn't want to do over a certain number of
loans a month. He said that he completely understood and good loan
processors were hard to find, and he didn't want to burn me out. He
said if it got busy and we did over a certain number of loans he
would hire someone to help me with answering the phone and the door
and doing basic office stuff.

So I was going to be the only loan processor and the office manager
for a small office of about five people. At the beginning his
girlfriend was still there, and she was supposed to train me before
she moved to a different city where they were opening a new office.
Then he would be going back and forth between the two offices.

Everything was Ok until three months later when she left. Suddenly he
started to get really odd and treating me differently. We started to
get really busy, and my amount of loans per month went over that
level, but he said that he didn't want to hire someone to help me
because it would cut into my bonuses, and it was only for a month and
then things would calm down.

I thought it might be a good idea to have the office procedures and
policies written down so that everyone knew what was expected, and if
we had a problem we could refer to it, especially since Brad was
going to be out of town. I spent a lot of time writing up the
procedures according to what they'd told me, but Brad would never
approve them, and kept changing the subject or procrastinating about
it.

But things didn't calm down, instead they kept getting worse. I was
putting in about 45 hours a week, but he would call me into his
office and tell me that I was making too many mistakes and that if I
would stay longer this wouldn't happen. He would tell me that most
LPs in the business would work until 2 in the morning to get the job
done right.

So I started working 50 hours a week, skipping lunches and not taking
breaks.

There were times when I had problems with things and he wasn't
available, so I would email someone else in the company. He would
call me or talk to me and tell me that I wasn't supposed to ask other
people these questions and I needed to come to him first. But then at
other times if I asked him a question he would act annoyed and say I
should figure it out for myself.

He insisted that when I put people on hold instead of saying "hold on
a minute" that I say "can I please put you on hold?" He would stand
by my desk when I was on the phone and criticize me if I said the
wrong thing, even if we were under a ton of deadlines and had a
million things to get done.

He would criticize me for every little thing, like leaving the top of
the copier up "its going to get dust on it" to ordering the wrong
kind of paper towels "always check with me before you order anything"
to using staples when he wanted me to use paper clips.

I had a problem with one of the loan officers who was friends with
Brad, but they hated each other at the same time. They were roommates
but constantly arguing and fighting at work, and one time they were
in M's office swearing and screaming at each other. M would come to
my desk with his fists clenched and say in this really intimidating
voice "don't ever tell Brad about anything having to do with my
loans."

But there were times when something would happen with one of M's
loans that affected everyone, so I would talk to B about it, and then
they'd both get mad at me. Brad would tell me "you can't hide things
from me, I'll find out about everything." I would tell him that I
wasn't trying to hide things from him, but he had told me to try to
solve things on my own and that's what I was doing.

I was starting to get very burned out and depressed after a couple of
months of this. I found myself going into the bathroom to cry on a
daily basis, and then crying at night. The woman who worked there
before me told me that it was normal and that she cried all the time,
but that's how it is.


I got to the point where I felt like no matter what I did, it was
wrong. Either Brad or the loan officers were always going to be mad
at me. But then at the end of the month he'd give me a big bonus and
tell me I was doing a great job. I'd hear from other people in the
company that he said that I was doing great.

Brad hired an assistant, and it was never clear what his
responsibilities really were. This guy, we'll call him Matt, was just
out of college and would often tell me "oh I'll do that!" and then
would forget he was supposed to do something. One day Brad called
from the other office and said he wanted to talk to Matt and I on the
speaker phone. He started to ream us out for not getting something we
needed to get a loan done that month. He kept asking me "why didn't
you do this?" I kept saying "Because Matt told me he was going to get
it, brad." Finally after he asked me about five times I just
said "Look Brad, I already gave you my answer, its not going to
change."

He started going off about how I needed to be proactive and I
shouldn't just sit around waiting for other people to do things, and
I needed to be on top of everything. Then about ten minutes later he
called me back privately and had this really low threatening tone of
voice and started telling me that if I continued to make these kind
of mistakes he would think about "rearranging the staff in the
office." He again went on about how I needed to stay until 2 in the
morning to get things right and that I was spending too much time on
the computer and I shouldn't be on the internet, etc.

I would get online while I was on hold, which was a lot. So much of
my time was spent on hold with different banks and companies waiting
to get payoffs, and it was boring, so I'd surf the internet while I
waited. But he didn't care.

That day when he bitched me out on the speaker phone I started to
look for another job. I just felt like it wasn't right for someone to
be crying that much and to have a boss yelling at them in front of
the whole office.

I found a much better paying job at a new mortgage company, but it
was all still up in the air. One day Brad came to me and told me that
he didn't want the loan officers to set up their closings until
everything on the underwriting list was completed. Well sometimes you
would have to set up a closing two weeks beforehand in order to get
everyone in one place, and the underwriters were so far behind they
wouldn't finish approving everything until the day of the closing. He
would say that he wanted to close as many loans as possible in a
month, but then turn around and say things that would keep loans from
closing.

He told me that I needed to monitor the loan officers and that if
they did that, I should tell him. He said that I couldn't hide it
from him and he would find out eventually. I was so upset, I felt
like now he wanted me to do his dirty work and be the bad guy, and he
was purposely trying to alienate me from the loan officers.

I went to lunch and decided I wasn't going to tell him about it, and
if he wanted to get mad at me later on, so be it, I'd probably be out
of there by then anyway.

Later that day he came in and asked me to schedule a closing for a
loan of his that hadn't fully been approved, which is what he said
that he didn't want happening earlier in the day!

I got the job offer for the other place, and I was so nervous about
telling Brad, I didn't know what his reaction would be. I figured
since he was threatening to fire me he wouldn't be surprised about
it. He was in the other office so I had to call him on the phone. I
told him that I was giving my two week notice, and he sounded very
innocent and surprised and concerned and said "why?"

I told him that I was burned out, and that I felt like it wasn't
right for him to expect me to monitor the loan officers and do his
job for him. I told him that I didn't appreciate being bitched out on
the speaker phone in front of everyone. He started yelling at me and
arguing with me, telling me that I wasn't being singled out and this
is how everyone gets treated.

I said that he had threatened to fire me, and I was thinking he was
probably already looking for my replacement. He said that he didn't
know what I was talking about. I reminded him of his threat
to "rearrange the office" but he said that he just meant that he
wanted to hire an assistant for me! He is the biggest liar ever, and
he knew how to say things so that if I told anyone else it wouldn't
sound bad. He always said everything in a very vague way, and never
put any of it in writing or email so that I wouldn't be able to show
anyone else.

He kept arguing with me and telling me that I needed to get thicker
skin and I was too sensitive and this is just how people treat each
other in this business.

By the end of the conversation, I was shaking and really scared. I'd
seen the way he'd treated a coworker who didn't work out, and I was
scared of what he might have in store for me as my punishment during
the last two weeks. At that point I was so exhausted, so emotionally
tired and so scared that I was starting to get sick all the time. I
had an ear infection, and I ended up calling in sick for two days
after that.

Luckily I'd taken home all my personal possessions, just in case he'd
asked me not to come back. I decided that I couldn't handle being
there with them for two weeks, I just didn't feel safe. I ended up
mailing my key back to them.

Well the other job didn't work out. After that I decided to change
fields, and was really close to getting a job I really wanted. They
ended up not hiring me after checking my references, and I think it
was because of this guy. So I've had to take that job off of my
resume and lie to people about it, because I have no proof that he
was abusive, and honestly I don't think that anyone in this country
really cares.