Awesome Gina! Thank you for posting. I have already emailed to
family. i think it will be a great tool.


--- In easternokautism@yahoogroups.com, "Gina Sue Dollarhide"
<msdollarhide@...> wrote:
>
>
> HEY EVERYONE! I FOUND THIS "LETTER" THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT
MAYBE -
> JUST POSSIBLY - [:)] SOME OF YOU JUST MIGHT SHARE THIS SAME
PROBLEM.
> IT IS A GREAT "LETTER" THAT IS READ FROM THE CHILDS POINT OF VIEW
AND
> PERSONALLY, I THINK IT HITS THE "NAIL ON THE HEAD"!!
>
> SEE YA! GINA DOLLARHIDE
>
> OR BETTER KNOWN AS CARTER'S MOM!!! [:D]
>
>
>
>
> Dear Family and Friends:
>
> I understand that we will be visiting each other for the holidays
this
> year. Sometimes these visits can be very hard for me, but here is
some
> information that might help our visit to be more successful.
>
> As you probably know, I am challenged by a hidden disability called
> Autism or what some people refer to as a pervasive developmental
> disorder (PDD). Autism/PDD is a neurological disorder which makes it
> hard for me to understand the environment around me. I have
barriers in
> my brain that you can't see but which make it difficult for me to
adapt
> to my surroundings.
>
> Sometimes I may seem rude and abrupt, but it is only because I have
to
> try so hard to understand people and at the same time, make myself
> understood. People with autism have different abilities: some may
not
> speak, some write beautiful poetry, some can hardly hold a pencil,
> others are whizzes in math or have difficulty making friends. We
are all
> different and need various degrees of support.
>
> Sometimes when I am touched unexpectedly, it might feel painful and
make
> me want to run away. I get easily frustrated, too. Being with lots
of
> other people is like standing next to a moving freight train and
trying
> to decide how and when to jump aboard. I feel frightened and
confused a
> lot of the time, like you would if you landed on an alien planet and
> didn't understand how the inhabitants communicated. This is why I
need
> to have things the same as much as possible. Once I learn how things
> happen, I can get by okay. But if something, anything changes, then
I
> have to relearn the situation all over again! It is very hard.
>
> When you try to talk to me, I often can't understand what you say
> because there is a lot of distraction around. I have to concentrate
very
> hard to hear and understand one thing at a time.
>
> You might think I am ignoring you, I am not. Rather, I am hearing
> everything and not knowing what is most important to respond to.
> Holidays are exceptionally hard because there are so many different
> people, places and things going on that are out of my ordinary
realm.
> This may be fun and adventurous for most people, but for me, it's
very
> hard work and can be extremely stressful.
>
> I often have to get away from all the commotion to calm down. It
would
> be great if you had a private place set up to where I could
retreat. If
> I cannot sit at the meal table, do not think I am misbehaved or
that my
> parents have no control over me. Sitting in one place for even 5
minutes
> is often impossible for me. I feel so antsy and overwhelmed by all
the
> smells, sounds, and people--I just have to get up and move about.
Please
> don't hold up your meal for me, go on without me and my parents will
> handle the situation the best way they know.
>
> Eating in general is hard for me. If you understand that autism is a
> sensory processing disorder, it's no wonder eating is a problem!
Think
> of all the senses involved with eating: sight, smell, taste, touch
AND
> all the complicated mechanics that are involved with chewing and
> swallowing that a lot of people with autism have trouble with. I
am not
> being picky. I literally cannot eat certain foods as my sensory
system
> and/or oral motor coordination are impaired. Sometimes, I may even
> become nauseated.
>
> Don't be disappointed if mommy hasn't dressed me in starch and a
tie.
> It's because she knows how much stiff clothes can drive me buggy! I
have
> to feel comfortable in my clothes or I will just be miserable!
Temple
> Grandin, a very smart adult with autism, has taught people that
when she
> had to wear stiff petticoats as a child, she felt like her skin was
> being rubbed with sandpaper. I often feel the same way in certain
> clothes.
>
> When I go to someone else's house, I may appear bossy and
controlling.
> In a sense, I am being controlling because that is how I try to fit
into
> the world around me (which is so hard for me to figure out!) Things
have
> to be done in a way I am familiar with or else I might get confused
and
> frustrated. It doesn't mean you have to change the way you are doing
> things just please be patient with me and understanding of how I
have to
> cope...mom and dad have no control over how my autism makes me feel
> inside.
>
> People with autism often have little things that they do to help
> themselves feel more comfortable. The grown ups call it "Self
> regulation," or "stimming'. I might hum, flick my fingers in my
face;
> repeat things over and over or any number of different things. I am
not
> trying to
> be disruptive or weird. Again, I am doing what I have to do for my
brain
> to adapt to your world.
>
> Sometimes I cannot stop myself from talking, singing, or partaking
in an
> activity. The grown ups call this "perseverating" which is kind of
like
> self regulation or stimming. I do this only because I have found
> something to occupy myself that makes me feel comfortable, and I
don't
> want to come out of that comfortable place and join your
> hard-to-figure-out-world. Perseverative behaviors are good to a
certain
> degree because they help me calm down. Please be respectful to my
mom
> and dad if they let me "stim" for awhile as they know me best and
what
> helps to calm me.
>
> Remember that my mom and dad have to watch me much more closely
than the
> average child. This is for my own safety, preservation of your
> possessions, and to facilitate my integration with you. It hurts my
> parents' feelings to be criticized for being over protective or
> condemned for not watching me close enough. They are human and have
been
> given an assignment intended for saints. My parents are good people
and
> need your support.
>
> Holidays are filled with sights, sounds, and smells. The average
> household is turned into a busy, frantic, festive place. Remember
that
> this may be fun for you but it's very hard work for me to conform.
If I
> fall apart or act out in a way that you consider socially
inappropriate,
> please remember that I don't possess the neurological system that is
> required to follow your rules.
>
> I am a unique person--an interesting person. I will find my place at
> this celebration that is comfortable for us all as long as you'll
try to
> view the world through my eyes!"
>