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Please help me!   Message List  
Reply | Forward Message #10436 of 13101 |
Re: [duane's] Please help me!

Hi ???,

I'm very sorry to hear that you are experiencing so much troubles with your condition. Unfortunately, I cannot help you with your medical issues, but I would like to be of some support in your other problems.

I am almost 24 now, and when I was 18 years old, I also became insecure about my appearance, and also about my inability to do certain things. At the time, I had just met my current boyfriend, and once things started to get serious between us, I started to wonder whether I was good enough for him, if I wasn't too ugly, or if I had enough to offer on the inside. What if he would find out that I was such a boring person, who couldn't do all the things a normal person could? So I decided that I would always have to be perfect at the things I could do, to compensate for the things I couldn't. Not a good plan, I can tell you that much. Of course, nobody is perfect, and when you try to be, you just get tired and cranky. It took me a long time to realize that this wasn't the way to go, and that it wasn't helping my relationship either!
So if I can offer you one piece of advice, it would be this: try to accept who you are, if you cannot do it alone, find someone who can help you with your problems. This way you will feel much more relaxed about your condition, and once you are not aware of your eye 24 hours a day, you will probably also notice a difference when your picture is taken. Furthermore, I doubt that you would be able to be in a relationship with a handsome, succesful man who is obviously very important to you, if you had nothing to offer. Try to focus on yourself and him, instead of his family!
I hope you will soon realize all the things YOU have to offer.

Best wishes, Erica

rmbloomingjasmines <rmbloomingjasmines@...> wrote:

Hello everyone,

I just joined your network because I'm desperately looking for help.
While reading through your messages, I was surprised to find that so
many people have gone through the same things that I've experienced.
I was born with a cataract in my left eye and I think that also with
Duanes type II (my mom can not recall for sure if I had Duanes since
the first months). As far as I can remember, I have never been able
to see with my left eye, except for a few light and movement.

My first two surgeries were performed when I was 11 years old. The
first surgery was to remove the cataract and the second surgery was
to try to cosmetically align the left eye.I have been teased all my
life and have developed many in-securities. Because of this, when I
was 16 years old, I decided to have another surgery, which looked
like a success during the first few months, but later turned into
disappointment. My eye was not turning towards my nose anymore, but
it was turning towards my ear.

What's worst is that this third surgery left me with strain and eye
pain.
This happens when I'm under any sort of stress, extreme
temperatures, or don't get enough sleep (meaning at least 8 hrs).
Lately it just happens all the time. I've looked for help, but I was
just given eye drops that didn't help and I was told that there's
nothing anybody can do (since I've had 3 surgeries already).
Despite all this, I can honestly say that the surgeries did help,
and I would recommend it. Overall, people can barely notice my
condition.

My Big problem is psychological, as I get older, I'm getting more
insecure about my eye and at looking at people in the eyes/face; I
am extremely "self conscious". This causes a lot of stress, which in
turn causes strain and makes my eye go in a million directions.
Taking pictures is a big threat for me because I start thinking
about how cross-eyed I'm going to look, which turns into just that.
When I'm relaxed my eye looks and feels fine…even on pictures.
By luck, I have a boyfriend that's very handsome and successful. His
family expects a lot from him and his future wife…you can imagine
how insecure and horrible that makes me feel. Does anybody have any
suggestions, on how I can control my insecurities (or eye)? Please
help me!!


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Tue Jan 9, 2007 4:16 pm

erica_disco
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Message #10436 of 13101 |
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Hello everyone, I just joined your network because I'm desperately looking for help. While reading through your messages, I was surprised to find that so many...
rmbloomingjasmines
rmbloomingja...
Offline Send Email
Jan 5, 2007
12:45 am

Hello everyone, I just joined your network because I'm desperately looking for help. While reading through your messages, I was surprised to find that so many...
rmbloomingjasmines
rmbloomingja...
Offline Send Email
Jan 5, 2007
12:45 am

Hi ???, I'm very sorry to hear that you are experiencing so much troubles with your condition. Unfortunately, I cannot help you with your medical issues, but I...
Erica Disco
erica_disco
Offline Send Email
Jan 9, 2007
4:49 pm

Hello Erica, thanks so much for all the support! :-) At this point I am convinced that you and everyone else is right, I have to really work on accepting...
bloomingjasmines
rmbloomingja...
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Jan 10, 2007
6:35 pm

Hi Monica, you're welcome! I am glad I could be of some support to you. I hope this group will help you on your way. Bye, Erica bloomingjasmines...
Erica Disco
erica_disco
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Jan 11, 2007
10:27 am

Dear Monica, Every person on Earth feels self conscious about something- whether it be big thighs, hair loss, acne, etc. Even movie star interviews reveal that...
smlourie
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Jan 23, 2007
8:54 pm

Hello Everyone, I'm 27 and have lived with Duanes Type 1 for my entire life. I had the surgery to relieve my head tilt when I was an infant. I know what you...
tallnabeeb
Offline Send Email
Jan 24, 2007
5:43 am
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