Hello everyone,

I just joined your network because I'm desperately looking for help.
While reading through your messages, I was surprised to find that so
many people have gone through the same things that I've experienced.
I was born with a cataract in my left eye and I think that also with
Duanes type II (my mom can not recall for sure if I had Duanes since
the first months). As far as I can remember, I have never been able
to see with my left eye, except for a few light and movement.

My first two surgeries were performed when I was 11 years old. The
first surgery was to remove the cataract and the second surgery was
to try to cosmetically align the left eye.I have been teased all my
life and have developed many in-securities. Because of this, when I
was 16 years old, I decided to have another surgery, which looked
like a success during the first few months, but later turned into
disappointment. My eye was not turning towards my nose anymore, but
it was turning towards my ear.

What's worst is that this third surgery left me with strain and eye
pain.
This happens when I'm under any sort of stress, extreme
temperatures, or don't get enough sleep (meaning at least 8 hrs).
Lately it just happens all the time. I've looked for help, but I was
just given eye drops that didn't help and I was told that there's
nothing anybody can do (since I've had 3 surgeries already).
Despite all this, I can honestly say that the surgeries did help,
and I would recommend it. Overall, people can barely notice my
condition.

My Big problem is psychological, as I get older, I'm getting more
insecure about my eye and at looking at people in the eyes/face; I
am extremely "self conscious". This causes a lot of stress, which in
turn causes strain and makes my eye go in a million directions.
Taking pictures is a big threat for me because I start thinking
about how cross-eyed I'm going to look, which turns into just that.
When I'm relaxed my eye looks and feels fine…even on pictures.
By luck, I have a boyfriend that's very handsome and successful. His
family expects a lot from him and his future wife…you can imagine
how insecure and horrible that makes me feel. Does anybody have any
suggestions, on how I can control my insecurities (or eye)? Please
help me!!