Sharon,

I ate more than usual yesterday, but I looked around and noticed
that my skinny relatives also overate today.

I think we can take a cue from our naturally thin counterparts in
that they don't worry about overeating during special occasions.
They will not feel guilty about what they ate on Christmas; in fact,
they assume that they will overeat on holidays. What will happen,
though, is that, without consciously thinking about it, they will
return to normal eating. They will once again listen to their hunger
and satiety levels.

We can do the same thing, only we have to consciously cue into our
hunger levels--that's just a fact of life for us. I don't know if
intuitive eating will ever truly become second nature to me, though
I KNEW I had overeaten because I felt a little acid indigestion--my
body's way of warning me. I'm sure I used to experience this same
sensation, but, for the first time in my life, I'm starting to
listen to those warnings. For once, I was able to stop eating and
NOT embark on a full-blown binge. But I DID overeat yesterday, and
that's a fact.

If you can self-talk yourself out of the guilt, that might help
alleviate some of your depressed feelings. Try to view eating as a
pleasurable activity instead of a major source of guilt. Somehow, we
have managed to associate our love for certain foods with a kind of
moral lapse, and, maybe, we need to change our thinking.

I noticed, Sharon, that you're worried about how you want to be thin
by next Christmas--that sounds like the ghost of the diet treadmill
past. Instead, why not strive toward living for today?

Consider taking a cue from Buddha's mantra/poem/prayer (from _Pali
Canon_), which is also considered a "Gestalt prayer":

"Do not hark back to things that passed,
And for the future cherish no fond hopes:
The past was left behind by thee,
The future state has not yet come."

"But who with vision clear can see
The present which is here and now
Such wise one should aspire to win
What never can be lost or shaken."

[NOTE: I started to type the word "stolen" for "shaken"--hmmm,
interesting...]

Omar Khayyam, from _The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam_ (translated by
Robert Graves and Omar Ali-Shah, 1968) says,

"Never anticipate tomorrow's sorrow
live always in the paradisal Now--..."

"Rise up, why mourn this transient world of men?
Pass your whole life in gratitude and joy."

Sharon, listen to that whisper that scolded you about the diety
thinking: "But my inner voice is telling me what a mistake that
would be."

Those are wise words.

Love, Jennifer

P.S. I will be posting a version of this post on my blog--from time
to time, I need to be reminded of these thoughts. ;=)



--- In dietsurvivors@yahoogroups.com, "Mathew and Sharon James"
<mdsl.james@o...> wrote:
>
> I have weighed myself and feel shocked to see that I have gained
more weight. I know it's because I am not listening to my body and
over xmas have eaten to fullness.
>
> I want to lose weight this year, I am not in a hurry but I want to
be trim and healthy next Christmas.
>
> I guess I am just wanting to hear the story of others, did you
start non dieting with the wish to lose weight...were you
successful.....can I lose weight without dieting and still maintain
a healthy outlook on food and eating.
>
> right now I am feeling like I want to diet because I want to be 75
lbs lighter, but my inner voice is telling me what a mistake that
would be.
>
> Why am I finding it so hard again to grasp this idea?
>
> Sharon
>