DFAN DIABETES NEWSLETTER
NOVEMBER 2000 EDITION

Here in the U.S. November is the month for Thanksgiving!
What do you have to be thankful for this year? Take a minute
and think about it. Diabetes can bring frustration, change and
worry into a life, but it can also bring support, motivation and
caring family & friends into a life too. So, look at things from
the good side of life….it’ll help in all areas.

We are in desperate need of diabetes related articles, stories,
poems, jokes and anything else you can think of. You don’t
have to be a professional writer….we like “normal” pieces from
“normal” people..<g>

Now, on to the newsletter!


__________TIP OF THE MONTH__________

THE PERFECT DIABETIC

Perfection leaves no room for error, and striving
for perfection might seem like a worthwhile goal.
It might, until you realize that once you strive
for perfection, nothing is ever good enough. When
it comes to diabetes, “good enough” can change
from day-to-day so finding out what’s perfect
for each day can become a game you can never
win.

You may soon find yourself upset over a 3 point
difference in your blood glucose level. Or you might
get upset because you ate one potato chip too many.

Diabetes management, just like life is full of
possibilities and we have to be able to roll with
them. No matter how much you plan to have
a good blood glucose level it can always go
higher or lower than expected. You might want
to exercise today at 3:00 p.m., but if something
happens and you can’t, what would happen?

Remember that perfection leaves no room for
error…..even if the error is just life being life.





__________POLL RESPONSES__________

Last month’s poll question was:

SCENARIO: Eddie has dealt with diabetes in his life for
five (5) years, since he was 9 years old. Adolescence has
brought out some rebellion in his behavior. He hasn’t tested
his blood glucose in 2 weeks and refuses to stick to his meal
plans. His room is full of empty snack food bags and the
only “plan” he is following is his own plan to eat whatever
he wants. His parents are at their wits end and decide to
take away his television for two weeks and ground him for
one week in an attempt to change his attitude.”

This month’s poll question is:

“Should the parent of a child with diabetes punish the
child if the child doesn’t test his/her blood glucose levels
or stick to their meal plans?”

Here are some of the responses we’ve received:

Response #1:
“I'm 14 years old and I think that the parent should not
punish the child, it will only make things worse!
Being punished would make me more upset. The
parent should talk to the child (tell them that if you
take care of yourself you would feel much, much
better!), etc.”


Response #2:

“Between the getting the belt for not doing one's
chores and the attitude that the child is an
individual and has rights, is plenty in between. The
exercise of one's right does not extend to taking away
one's life, or letting diabetes run riot. Then when
the pieces have to be picked up, the bills are handed
all round, as the diabetic is probable unable to pay
them. Even if he could, does that give him the right
to buy his near to suicide type of life? Young
children are not aware of the implications of what
they do, and more often than not, they have the good
sense to choose the sensible way out, which often is
just the correct way out. Instruction, what if, and a
trip to those that were not so lucky, or did not get
on the job early enough. Not just talking, just go
and see. If they do not want to go and see, then they
are chickening out and avoiding information.
Then those in charge should insist on it, with plenty of
bribery and love - they can make assessment in whatever
way they wish, after they get the facts. Not as a pamphlet,
but seeing chaps in the hospital, or as close to possible the
unvarnished truth.”


Response #3:

“The child should be explained the consequences once
again and then advised that if he/she is not going to
follow instructions for the doctor and therefore the
parents will then be encouraged. Then YES punishment
would be at my wits end if it was to work. Rather
punished than dead!


Response #4:

“Yes absolutely. Caring for one's diabetes is a RESPONSIBILITY
no different than any other responsibility that any other teen
would have. If a child refuses to care for himself and take on
responsibility of that, then they will have to suffer the unfortunate
repercussions that follow it as well. Taking away privileges is
reasonable. We as parents always are saying "we want the kids
to be treated normally, they are not any different than any other
child." Well if there was a "normal" child acting irresponsibly
they too would have to suffer the consequences. Diabetes should
be no different.”


Response #5:

n answer to dealing with a teen with diabetes let me tell
you a little about our family. Our daughter was diagnosed
with diabetes at the age of 9 months. Our son was
diagnosed at the age of 8 with diabetes. My husband
was diagnosed about the same time as our son. When
our daughter reached the teen years she hated what she
had and hated being different. She didn't want to do the
schedule but I insisted that she do it. As she got older
that did not change and by the time she was old enough
to take care of herself she refused to test and go to the
doctors. Our daughter passed away at the age of 21. She
died in her sleep from what the doctors said was heart failure.
She was just beginning to take better care of herself but I
feel that it came to late. Our son who is now 13 has seen
what happens when diabetes is not taken seriously. I try
not to compare him with things that happened with our
daughter but that is hard because I don't want the same
thing to happen to him. My thoughts with our son is to
take a more laid back approach and allow him to make
decisions on his own. We have also put our lives in Gods
hand which we should have done a lot sooner. It is my
prayer that our son will put his life in God's hand and do
his best to take care of himself. With our daughter I may
have tried to control to much causing her to rebel more.
We need to understand more of what the teen is going
through. They don't like being different and diabetes
makes them different. We are homeschooling our son
giving him a good Christian education and removing the
problems that teens have in larger school settings


__________DIABETES SUPPORT ONLINE__________

There is a new place for you to get diabetes support! This
diabetes group called Kelly Online Diabetes Newsletter is
great for day-to-day questions, insurance questions and
finding information on the web. If you’d like to subscribe
please send an e-mail to marsha.surad@...

There is also a group for fibromyalgia. To join this group
send an e-mail to queenie-fibromyalgia-subscribe@egroups.com


_____POEM_____

LOVE YOURSELF FOR YOU

Love yourself for you
not how you look
For how you look is just the wrapping….
the main treat is what’s underneath

Love yourself for you
and not for what you do
For what you’ve done might
not have been the best decisions

Love yourself for you
not for the want of others
For others may want what you can’t give…
never try to measure up to another’s fancy

Love for yourself comes
before the prize


__________POLL QUESTION__________

This month’s poll question is:

A book entitled “Diabetes For Dummies” may
turn out to be a top-seller. Does the title offend
you? Do you think diabetes needs to be “dumbed
down” in order for people to understand it?


Send your responses to:

dfanrequest@... -or- dmmteam@...


__________DFAN DIABETES STORE NOW OPEN!__________

The DFAN Diabetes Store is now open! We’ve put
together many different books and other items related
to diabetes management under one cyber-address. Please
visit out new website and see if anything there interests you.

The URL for The DFAN Diabetes Store is:

http://members.aol.com/dfandm


__________PROJECT HOPE__________

WHAT IS DFAN PROJECT H.O.P.E.?

So, what is DFAN Project H.O.P.E.? H.O.P.E. stand for

(H)elping
(O)thers
(P)repare for
(E)xcellence.

Project H.O.P.E. is a commitment. A commitment to
help you be the best person you can be, living with
diabetes in your life. To us, it doesn’t matter if you’re
a person with diabetes, a family member or friend of a
person with diabetes, or just an interested party. If
diabetes is in your life, we want you to live a life of
diabetic achievement, not one of doubt, sadness and
grief.. How can we do this?

We’re going to use all of our DFAN text files, websites,
and other resources to bring hope into the lives of anyone
with diabetes. If you ever have to go through diabetes
complications (yourself or someone else) we want to
help you understand it and come out of it as healthy
as you can be.


PROJECT H.O.P.E. LIFE GOALS

1. HELPING - To help myself and others live life,
with diabetes, in a productive way.
2. OTHERS - to help diabetics in need with resources,
experience, knowledge, and any other help I can give
3. PREPARE for -.make and carry out a set of diabetes
management plans that are realistic, challenging and goal
oriented
4. EXCELLENCE - doing your best to reach your goals
and not giving in to thoughts of defeat. Realizing that an
excellent effort is worth acknowledging.


__________NEED STRIPS & METERS__________

As always, we can use any extra testing strips and/or
new/used meters you may have. If you have any of the
following strips (that haven’t expired and/or meters
(new or used/in working condition) please send them in to us.

STRIPS WE NEED

Lifescan (One Touch, FastTake)
Dex
Accucheck
Precision QID

Meters – any new or used (in good working condition)

Lancing Devices

Check your shelves and drawers! If your have items
collecting dust please send them in! If you have the
manuals for meters you will be sending please send them
too.

The address is: Diabetes Angel Network, c/o Ladson,
P.O. Box 570324, Bronx New York 10457




__________ARTICLE__________

DIABETES FOR PARENTS – Part 2
By Darrin Parker

For me as well as dozens (hundreds?) of other
diabetic kids I've talked to (who are now adults)
and who were brought up being "forbidden" to
express anything but positive feelings found that
upon reaching adulthood, all the balled up anger and
frustration had manifested itself into rebellion or
denial or worse psychological problems.

If you have a competent diabetes team: No one
will ever refer to tests as being "good" nor "bad".
Comments like: "we don't want to see that" or
"I am so pleased with your tests" will not exist.
There will be no hint of judgment nor blame.
There will also be no false hopes (lies) given to
the parents or children. Statements like: "a cure
is only a few years away" or "you can grow up
to live a normal life and be anything you want to be"
will not exist.

The first tool any parent of a newly diagnosed diabetic
child should be given is a book on building self esteem
in children. If the emotional side of diabetes management
isn't being addressed as often as the physical side;
then you have an incompetent diabetes team.

Upon adulthood many of us find that in addition to
various career restrictions we can't get life insurance;
no matter how tight our control is! Because of this
we can't get mortgages, consumer loans, business
loans etc. We are left in a gray area. Since we are
not disabled; we do not qualify for special loans
available to the disabled. Yet because of our
health - no matter how great it is - we do not qualify
for most loans from any bank. The fact is that kids
with diabetes have limited career options. But we
were told that we could have a normal life!

So what do you tell us kids? All I can suggest is the
truth: "There is no cure or control for your diabetes
now but there might be in the future"......and... ... "You
might be an astronaut someday but first a control or
cure must be found for your diabetes. That's why
it's so important to keep as good a blood glucose as
you can. So if a control or cure is found; you
can be healthy enough to be an astronaut"!

I can give a personal guarantee that, for whatever
reason, not being able to express frustrations (adult
or kid) - or being lied to - will hurt diabetes management
at some point in a person's life. The frustration and
anger catches up to you as surely as lack of blood
glucose control will. Life isn't all numbers and ratios;
neither is good diabetes management. Good diabetes
management starts with good mental and emotional health.
This is something no one can have if they continuously
hide their frustrations.

Three things I wish parents and health care providers would remember:

1. Kids are kids #1 and diabetics #2.

2. There are no "good" nor "bad" test results. Just the facts.

3. No person can manage diabetes in a "good" or "bad" way if they simply
do their best. You manage it the best way that you can and that starts
with gathering knowledge. Don't stop at the diabetes team. Look to other
sources and to the experiences of others.

Longer term diabetics often experience what I call "DBO", Diabetes
Burnout.
Although this can happen with parents of kids with diabetes as well. DBO
seems to come from decades of trying but never achieving perfect control
and from holding in one's frustrations about diabetes or it's
complications. Life for most of us long term Type I's is no longer just
"simple" diabetes management. Dealing with the treatments, appointments
and paying for drugs for the eyes, kidneys, impotence, blood pressure
etc.
is difficult to juggle. In my humble opinion: The only cure for DBO is
to
get support and information (which I've done via the net).

Doctors don't have time to deal with patients' frustrations. Many of us
have no friends or families to act as a support group. There are places
on
the net in which people are realistic and mature in accepting their anger
and frustration with diabetes. Seek them. Here's a starting point: Go
to
the #diabetes channel on undernet. One guy has been type I for 40+ years
and has managed great control! One girl is 24 years old and is on her
third kidney transplant! And both of them can talk about their
respective
conditions without being judged!

There is no place in diabetes for judgment nor lies. Leave those at the
door please.

(To contact the author of this article send your
e-mail to dp@... )


Send all questions/comments/ideas to:

dfanrequest@... -or- dmmteam@...

Diabetes is a serious disease. This e-mail should not
Take the place of competent medical care.

DFAN WEBSITES

MyJournal! - http://members.aol.com/belve/myjournal

Diabetes Prayer Chain! http://members.aol.com/dfanonestep/prayer

DFAN Diabetes Webpage
http://pages.prodigy.net/dfan/dfansite

Christian Diabetes Living
http://home.att.net/~belve/

DFAN Diabetes Weightloss Site
http://members.aol.com/belve/dfan

Christian Diabetes N' Weight Loss Site
http://members.aol.com/dfanonestep

Diabetes Angel Website
http://pages.prodigy.net/dfan/angel

Warm Fuzzies (Teddy Bears For Diabetic Kids)
http://members.aol.com/belve/fuzzy/

We have some DFAN e-mail discussion lists
you can join!

Christian Diabetes (dfan-Christian)
Diabetes & Weightloss (dfan-weightloss)

You can join these lists by sending a request
to dmmteam@...


Belver
Visit The DFAN Diabetes Webpage: http://pages.prodigy.net/dfan/dfansite
Visit Christian DiabetesLiving: http://home.att.net/~belve
Got any strips or meters you don't need? -
http://pages.prodigy.net/dfan/angel
Visit The DFAN Diabetes Store - http://members.aol.com/dfandm

________________________________________________________________
GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO!
Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less!
Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit:
http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj.