Dave,<br><br>Thanks so much for responding! It’s
nice to have a place to turn to. This relationship has
certainly been a rough ride! My boyfriend does know that
he’s depressed and sometimes seems to understand that
it’s a chemical problem. Miraculously, he started
anti-depressants a month ago. So far no difference. When he went
back for the refill, they added another drug. I’m
really hoping that the drugs help him. <br><br>He
definitely suffers from cognitive distortions (black and
white thinking, jumping to conclusions, etc). He’s been
trying to monitor his thoughts but again it’s a slow
process to change. <br><br>It’s been so hard for me
because I was convinced early on that I could help just
by showing him all the fun things in life and giving
him all the tools I had, the books I read, the things
I tried…but he’s an obstinate person. Depression is
so hard to deal with in the context of a
relationship because all the rules are different. When he’s
feeling low I have to put my need for support on hold. I
feel like I always have to be the strong one because I
have to be there to take care of = encourage,
reassure, him. I’ve done it for a long time but I’m getting
more impatient with his self-centered view of the
world. I say that not without understanding, because
I’ve been there myself. Now that I’m through it, I can
see how self-involved depression is, everything about
your own world is so exaggerated, including the
importance of your own problems. <br><br>It’s a very
difficult place to be and it’s been exacerbated lately
because I’ve had several men hitting on me out of
nowhere. It’s very tempting to chase the easy, good times
I could have instead of the sometimes grueling and
painful dreariness of being with someone who is so
cynical and negative. <br><br>Yesterday my boyfriend’s
car broke down and the mechanic couldn’t reproduce
the problem to fix it = now the car is unreliable. I
thought, “Yes, finally, he’ll go get a job so he can buy a
new car.” No such luck. Sigh. What a tragedy to waste
so many precious hours and days and weeks and months
eschewing the beauty and goodness in the world.<br><br>I
have a break from him this weekend. I’ll just try to
use this time to heal myself and take care of me.
<br><br>Thanks for your support! It’s very comforting to finally
be able to vent in a place where other people know
what I’m dealing with!<br><br>Crys