Hi
I just read your message and it brought tears to my eyes... I had no
idea there were other people feeling the exact (and i mean EXACT!)
feelings I've been experiencing. I, too, am involved with the most
wonderful man I've ever known. We've been together just over a year
and a half, which has, like you, been full of ups and downs. The
things you wrote about sounded as though I had written them myself.
I have been learning everything I can about manic-depression, but
have not yet found what I've needed to know being the 'significant
other'. My special man proposed to me at the end of August, and now,
as you so eloquently phrased it... I have the plague! (great
description!!). I hope we can find some support or comfort in knowing
we are not to blame, despite the occasional (often?) thoughts
of "what have I done this time?". I, too, wonder about the future
with this illness...am I strong enough to handle these episodes for
the rest of my life? I am 38, divorced with two kids, living in
another city from him (an hour and a half away).
Yet despite the aggressive verbal onslaughts, emotional distance,
and angry outbursts during the few days every 8 weeks or so...the
rest of the time we share together is like every girl's dream
romance.

I do hope to hear from you if you've got some time to write. Tonight
I'm feeling rather lost and confused. It's Thanksgiving weekend and
he does not wish to see me... but then again, that could change by
tomorrow morning. UGH the uncertainty of it is frustrating
sometimes...
Take care,
Tracy