Ellie, something very disturbing is happening.  I'm having accidents.

Tonight I ran over some animal on the way home after the examination at

the hospital.  I was being examined because last night an 80-year-old

woman ran a stop sign and totaled my rental car.  I am in a rental car

because three weeks ago the night after Christmas Day a deer ran into my

own car, and it's being repaired.

 

I believe these accidents are because I'm expressing more and more

rage.  I was just frothing at the mouth Monday afternoon as I drove into

New Orleans, violently angry at my mother, and I even told the tape

recorder that I carry with me to record my feelings that I felt so angry

it was like I was going to have an accident.  And then a few hours later

that woman hit me.  A lot of the current rage was because we just

celebrated the birthday of the sister who was meanest to me when I was

little.  The day after that occasion I raged and cried all day.

 

I was always one to turn the rage against myself.  I would get angry and

somehow doors would smash into me, my elbows would bang against

something because space was suddenly too tight.  Do you know what I'm

talking about?