If anyone suffers from insomnia, that is an excellent opportunity to
redirect, because insomnia results from a detox crisis with excitatory
symptoms so -- well -- exciting, that you cannot go to sleep. I normally
sleep well, so if I wake up in the middle of the night, I know it's a detox
crisis that woke me up so I immediately redirect. Also, the earlier I wake
up, the more intense is the detox crisis. I find that when I wake up between
3 & 4 AM, it's a lot less intense than if I awaken between 1-2 AM. If I
sleep peacefully though the night, as I do most of the time, then there was
no detox crisis needed at that time.

This morning, I woke up at 1:30, and therefore I knew it was to be an
intense episode of redirecting and so it was. This time, it was centered in
my eyes and I believe it was the next layer of the rebirthing "onion" that I
have been peeling off for the last month.
------------------
NOTE: Please read the following 4 posts in the archives where I detail the
above "onion layer" sequence.
#670 Hurricane Detox - Sept. 3
#678 Prison motif - Sept 19
#680 Shoulders - Sept 19
#688 Atlas ready to shrug? - Sept 21
------------------
As you will read, it started with my shaking arms, went through my shoulders
and last week centered on my breathing. But this morning, I really felt
tremendous tension in my eyesockets. I've always been extremely nearsighted
and I wonder if that may have been a result of whatever birth or prebirth
trauma I seem to be re-experiencing now.

(Again, it's important to note that you don't have to relive a trauma in all
its memory; all you need do is redirect the bad feelings that are associated
with the trauma. Once you have redirected, then there is no longer any need
to access the actual trauma experience itself. I am only guessing that the
detox events of the past month for me are related to my birth because I know
I was a "blue baby" -- being suffocated as I was being born. I was ready to
start breathing, but the doctor was late.)

At any rate, I found myself squeezing both eyes tightly shut and I know
my face was contorted with pain. I've had this experience before, but this
time, I decided to get mad at my mother, at the doctor who was late, and as
soon as I made this decision to redirect, I could literally feel the anger
flow out of the tension in my eyes and spread out to the targets of the
redirecting. Again, I know my mother did not do this deliberately to me, but
her behavior and even the doctor's is not the point. The point is that my
reaction to this situation was anger that I had repressed back then and that
created the toxins in my neurons. Actually, the repression probably came all
throughout my infancy as my mother would do everything to keep me from
expressing that anger: "Hush, little baby, don't you cry!" Therefore, the
problem was not the single traumatic event around my birth, but the
subsequent suppression of anger by Mom and the toxins that were created as a
result.

For this reason, it doesn't matter if your past recollections are true or
not. I may be completely wrong about these recent events being are-experience
of my birth trauma -- but that doesn't matter. What I do know is true is
whatever bad feelings hit me NOW-- be they fear, anxiety, guilt or whatever.
That's really all you have to work with -- present time feelings -- but
that's enough. Therefore, don't get involved with analyzing your past or
assessing blame or even assigning responsibility even if you know definitely
that some caretaker of yours definitely did abuse you. Separate THEIR
responsibility out from redirecting YOUR anger at them.

When I finish a redirecting episode in the middle of the night, I feel
very calm and within a half hour, I go back to sleep, wake up my usual time
about 6 AM and usually feel pretty good for the rest of the day -- until the
next detox crisis comes along. But now I don't worry about them any more than
I worry about a thunderstorm coming through. You ride out the storm and soon
it's over. After all, the internal detox crises are just as much a part of
Nature that happens to you as does an external thunderstorm.

If anyone suffers from real insomnia -- that is not even getting to sleep
in the first place, be sure to redirect those feelings of agitation and
excitement (perhaps extreme hyper-vigilance) and I think that when you finish
redirecting, you'll sleep like a log.

Tom