I love your letters, Ellie. They are so affirming!
Good news. Last night I was at a meeting and was telling the group
about a problem I'm having with the meditation we do. A woman,
who is about as emotional as a log, had no idea what I was saying, so
she said something stupid in response that had nothing to do with
what I had just said. But because of the redirecting, instead
of feeling furious and helpless, I just thought about it for a while,
and later I very frankly and non-emotionally said that what
she had said was not apt or correct. I felt very strong as
I said this and very mature. I know being able to set the record
straight was a very big deal for me, and yet because of all
the redirecting it didn't feel like a big deal. But the way
others responded to what I had said made me feel I had
passed some kind of barrier.
It was good!
Love you,
Valerie

You know Valerie, I sometimes get tears in my eyes,
I call them good tears, when I hear of victories like this.
You make my heart sing. When I was at Caron back in 92
where I had therapy that taught me to redirect, they told us
to do this kind of calm confronting, ie saying things like "I'm
not comfortable with your behavior" but I couldn't really do this
until after using the self help measures and getting rid of most
of the anger. Now I can do it and I see you can too.
Love,
Ellie