Janet wrote:

> please tell me more about this Caron program...where is this? how
> much
> does it cost? info greatly appreciated..
>
> I will work this week to again attempt to redirect and get in touch
> with
> anger and rage
>
> all I feel is hopelessness and fear...scared...
>
> but will try again and see if I can access anger and rage.

Dear Janet
Caron is a big center with rehabs and they have a special place for
people to go and do the work on co-dependency. It is a beautiful house
in PA and where I went and learned to do redirecting of anger in a kind
of psychodrama, they call them sculptures.. It was the beginning of my
true recovery. I have never received the love I got in that one week.
The sculptures for example were-- I would pretend I was back in the crib
and two others in my group would pretend they were my parents ignoring
me. Then instead of just crying, the counselors encouraged me to get MAD
and yell and hit a hard pillow with a padded bat called a bataka. This
is what my self-help measures are based on, and my discovery of the
biology of all this is why it works.

The progam is called Co-dependency Treatment for Adult Children from
Dysfunctional families. It cost sabout $1000---it's worth every penny if
you are having trouble doing this on your own. You have to pay upfront
but my insurance company eventually paid for it after some prodding on
my part and a letter from my therapist. Lots of therapists go to Caron,
to help themselves, and then better help their clients.

The phone number for Caron is 1-800-678-2332
See also http://www.caron.org/

Please try to trust that the toxic mind theory is sound and
scientifically true, and the self-help measures are based on what is
going on in the brain. When you feel fear (or any nervous symptom) it is
because your brain is releasing (detoxing) excess adrenaline. Underneath
the fear and other symptoms, (misdirected anger, guilt, low self-esteem,
paranoia, cravings, etc) is represssed anger (stored as excess
noradrenaline). All the symptoms are detoxification crises, and the
trick is to understand this and everytime you have a symptom, get MAD,
pound on the bed or mentally redirect it toward ALL past people who
caused you to suppress your justifiable anger.. Your parents did the
best they could but they were sick, and it is their sickness you need to
get mad at, not their true souls.

Ellie