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Hi Ellie,
I have been practicing RST as you suggest. That is, as soon as I feel
depression or anxiety symptons I try to "redirect" by being angry. In the
beginning I didn't feel very angry but now I find I'm getting *very* angry.
In fact sometimes I experience almost uncontrollable anger episodes. Is this
normal to experience more and more anger? Am I perhaps adding to my anger by
doing RST?
Also, when these rages happen I find myself muttering and screaming under my
breath to my parents. The thing is I don't think they are the real reason
for my depression. I am worried I may be turning them into scapegoats for my
problems.
Lastly, is there any place I can discuss my experiences with other people
who are redirecting? J.
Hi,
Sounds like you are doing great. It's not that you are adding to your anger, but before you began all that anger was stored in your brain, and became rage, and now that you are getting it out, it is going to seem much more intense. This is what needs to happen. Mood swings may intensify.
The reason for your depression is because you had to suppress anger as a child and continued to do this. This caused a toxicosis in your brain and the only way to get rid of the toxins is to redirect anger to memories of your parents who caused you to suppress anger. You are not blaming your parents really (they too were innocent children whose anger was suppressed) but you need to allow youself to get angry at their sickness. You are only getting angry at the memories of them which are stored in your brain, and you need to do this to clear neural pathways in your brain.
It is not a good plan to share with others who are also just beginning the RST. This is why the eGroup is non-interactive. But please read the many Messages in the Archives/Messages and you will find out about the experiences of others..
Ellie
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