Hi, Jessica. Our 12 yr. old son has Asperger's. We first noticed
symptoms at around age 4, but didn't get a correct diagnoses until
about 18 months ago. At least you are getting an early start!

You'd think after all this time, I'd have more answers than
questions, but that isn't always the case. We went on a family trip
this summer to TN that I refer to as "the wonderful vacation from
hell!" When our son wasn't having meltdowns, it was great.
Unfortunately, that wasn't often! However, all three kids profess
it to be "the best vacation ever", so they were able to put all the
negative stuff aside. The big problem we had was that we didn't
plan and prepare Rick ahead of time like we do for our usual trips
to grandparents, etc. We just kind of assumed that because it was a
fun trip as opposed to a "have to" trip, he'd do great. Wrong!

So, the lesson I learned the hard way, is prepare, prepare,
prepare! Rick does better now than when he was younger with
transitions such as stopping an activity to move onto another one,
or from one class to another, in terms of his frustration. But he
doesn't like it any better! So for little things, I don't worry
much. But every day starts with me having to explain what he's
expected to do that day. Even things that are constants have to be
mentioned ("take your medicine", "you may not wear those shoes
without socks", close the door the a/c is on" and so on!) Even at
his age, I find that having a list is tremendously helpful. I know
your son is too young to read, but pictures might work. If there is
something planned besides "do your chores and then you can be on the
computer", I make sure to tell him the night before or in the
morning along with all his other chores/plans. I have also found
that if it is something that is subject to change (say, a friend
coming over), my son does better if I don't say anything too early.
It's much easier for him to adjust to a change in plans that's fun
and exciting than disappointing. If I say anything too early, then
plans change, he's more prone to meltdowns.

For Rick, clothing is tremendously important. He hates being hot
and he hates anything that doesn't practically fall off of him. So
he wears men's large t-shirts, pants and shorts that are elastic
waisted or a size too big so they don't bind, and his shoes are a
good size too big. Shirts can't have any seams other than side and
shoulder, appliques, etc. that can be felt on the inside or they
drive him nuts. We've learned that when it comes to being in public,
if what he has on matches and is clean, that's all that matters. And
really, except for church, I can live if it doesn't match. We've
given up on tucked in shirts, tied shoes, and long pants (unless
they're sweat pants, and even that's only for about a month each
year).

Our kids are very frustrating. It's easy to feel worn out and
frazzled and GUILTY for feeling irritated. The big thing is to just
do what you feel is in your child's best interest. Friends and
family may offer advice, some helpfully, some with a little less
altruistic motives. Ultimately, though, you know your child best.
Don't be hesitant to let these folks, as well as teachers,
babysitters, etc., know your rules and know that your child will
probably try to bend every one of them. I make it a point to tell
my son's teachers (both at school and church) every year, very
bluntly, what to expect from him. He has a tremendous IQ, but very
little common sense, and I tell them specific ways he will react to
different situations and how they can avoid or limit those
reactions. Then, if he reacts that way, and they didn't prepare,
it's their issue. And I don't hesitate to tell them if I think they
goofed (although I try to be polite, in my best teacher-y manner!).

I don't know if any of this helps. Even if there's nothing else to
be gleaned, at least know that you are not alone!














--- In cuan-listserve@yahoogroups.com, "mrsabe02" <mrsabe02@...>
wrote:
>
> Hi Ann,
> No I haven't really found any other families to talk with- I would
> love it because I have tons of questions about what other people
have
> tried to do for their kids. Please do pass my email along I
welcome
> all the resources I can find. My son is 3yrs old and has PDD-NOS.
> Our biggest issues is finding something to lessen or help control
the
> meltdowns and adjust to new diets. I've taken a leave of abscence
> from my job until he is settled in the early childhood program at
> Clara Peterson school, however that doesn't begin until school is
> back in session. I don't understand the program that he will be
in,
> it hasn't been explained in deepth it was a quick Evaluation and
lots
> of questions for me and at the time I didn't know what things to
ask.
> I'm pretty much Riley's care taker 24/7, my husband and Riley are
> getting closer but Riley is very dependant upon me. I've been home
> with him a little over a month. We have 2 other boys- one is 11yrs
> old and the other is turning 2yrs old soon. We are a family on the
go
> alot and that doesn't help Riley because his routine gets changed
> often. My husband's family lives near but work 40 hours a weeke
since
> I 've stopped working my longest break from Riley has been 2 hours
> while grocery shopping. My nerves are very raw at this point,
since
> Riley is no longer in a daycare program he doesn't get much social
> time with kids other than his brothers I have concerns there about
> how he will do in the Early childhood program.
> I thank you for letting me vent some of my concerns and issues,
I'm
> really hopeful the CU Network can provide some more insight on how
I
> can help Riley have more good days than bad.
> THanks again!
> Jessica Abrahamson
>
>
>
>
>
> --- In cuan-listserve@yahoogroups.com, "Ann Osterling"
> <aosterling@> wrote:
> >
> > HI there
> > SUmmer can be rough for many families who have kids with special
> needs. Do you know any other families with kids with autism/PDD?
If
> not, would you like me to pass your name along to a couple of
other
> families that I work with?
> >
> > What are your biggest issues right now? Do you have
family/friends
> around to give you some support-and breaks- during the tough days?
Is
> your child going to be going to early childhood in the fall?
> >
> > Ann Osterling
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> > From: cuan-listserve@yahoogroups.com on behalf of mrsabe02
> > Sent: Mon 7/31/06 1:20 PM
> > To: cuan-listserve@yahoogroups.com
> > Subject: [cuan-listserve] New to group
> >
> >
> >
> > Hi we are new to this group. We live in Paxton. We were told in
may
> > that our 3yrd old has PDD-NOS by Dr. Morton.
> > We are having a rough summer and look forward to seeing what
advice
> > from others we can utilize to help our little boy in the best
way
> > possible.
> > Looking foward to getting to know you all better.
> > THANKS!
> > Jessica & Tim Abrahamson
> >
>