Christina, Ernie J here.
Lending boy friend money is detrimental. You can chase and chase the money lost
for a long time, both you and your boyfriend. Lending money (bailing out) a
compulsive gambler is like letting running water from the faucet go down the
drain. Does your boy friend quit after a win or is the win not big enough?
You have to cut your losses. Get yourself to a Gamblers Anonymous Meeting. I
suggested that before. For you to get better, you should not tempt yourself by
going to the caxino. Actually ii is recommended that the gambler not associate
with acquaintances who gamble. I know that's hard, he's your boy friend. Good
thing he isn't your husband. All the charge debts might be yours to share.
The IRA or 401K you think he might have is gone. You might even have to
refinace a home all ready paid for because of all the gambling losses. The
gambler likes to think he has the wool pulled over everyone's eyes. Has to be
in charge of the check book. Has to be the first to get the mail. Has to be
the first to answer the phone. He or she always denies he has a problem. And
when the problem is confronted, the gambler shifts the blame. How much pain do
you and he need? The gambler wants to make good on his debts, but what happens
when he can't come up with the cash? Write bad checks, pursue fraudulent loans.
Borrow from friends and relatives saying that the need the money for rent , car
expenses. or use the excuse that something has come up. They never tell the
truth. I feel you are caught in a vicious circle with no exit.
If you have yahoo messenger, you can always try to contact me when online. I
don't bite. I could answer your questions.. All you have to do is read the
answers. You can try a search engine and type "cghub.homestead". Go to that
site. There are over 50 new postings everyday by other compulsive gamblers.
There are also other options there that will help you.

christina871 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:Hi Ernie - Although I might have
a problem, I am almost sure that my
boyfriend has a problem. He owes me a lot of money right now and the
situation is uncomfortable. When we are at the casino and he has
already maxed out the amount he can debit from his checking and
brokerage accounts, and he has put thousands on his credit card, he
borrows money from me. I feel as if I can't say 'no', but I know
that he is going to lose it. I know that he is feeling the pain of
the debt and he owes me so much that I don't want to ask him for it.
He is good for his word, but he honestly thinks that he can pay me
back by borrowing more money from me and then winning back what he
owes me?!? Do you (or anyone here) have any suggestions as to how to
handle the situation? How can I stop gambling when I live with
someone who also can't stop gambling? I'm not perfect because he
really doesn't have to twist my arm to go but at the same time I know
that it is a bad idea. Lately, even when we are both up by
thousands, it's not enough and we leave the casino in the hole.

--- In compulsivegamblingrecovery@yahoogroups.com, Ernie Jacobs
<erniej100@y...> wrote:
>
> Hi there christina, I'm Ernie J and am a compulsive gambler. Your
brief history sounds familiar. Have heard many tales similar to
yours while attending Gamblers Anonymous meetings. You might be on
the path to this addictive disease, but only you will know. It's
when you admit to yourself that you are a compulsive gambler and out
of control. Don't try to categorize yourself as a "casino
gambler". All compulsive gambers have had the same start as you.
Even if it is playing the lottery, video machines, internet gambling,
sports betting etc, we all have similar histories. Try to find a
meeting. Get a chance to answer the twenty questions. You might
find out a little about yourself. The meetings are there for those
who desire to stop gambling. Take care.
> Ernie J.
> christina871 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote: Hi - I have been
gambling for a while and I feel like it has slowly
> gotten out of control. I'm not sure if I actually have a problem
> though. I'm hoping I can find the answers through this board. My
> boyfriend and I go to the casino about twice a week (two and a half
> hours away) and go straight to the high limits. We started off
> playing the $1 slots once in a while....now we are frequently
playing
> $15 slots and the ocassional $100 slot. Not sure if this
constitutes
> a problem or not. I have lost a couple thousand in a night and my
> boyfriend has lost several thousand in one night....although we
also
> win, it is beginning to add up. At this point, I am just starting
to
> look for answers. I look forward to being a part of this group.
> Christina
>
>
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