You are very welcome Maria. I have went through each and everything that you
mentioned with the financial mess. Utitlity bill, telephone bill, water bill,
sewer bill, foreclosure on my house, had my license suspended and my plates
revoked, almost had my probation revoked and almost went to prison. While I do
not have the family situation, I can totally identify with the feelings of pain
and loneliness and desolation that you are feeling. Try to get in touch with
your local GA group. They should be listed in the telephone book. Or look for
a number for your state or call the casino, most of them have help numbers to
call. Do this as soon as you can. Then you can talk to someone, maybe get to a
meeting and start sorting some of this out. These people in GA will show you
the way that will get you help so that you can deal with your problems without
gambling. It is not about the money-----it is about why you gamble. So, Maria,
for your sake and your families' sake as well,
call GA.

Until the next time.
YFIR
Debbie H.

Maria Nichols <marianichols32@...> wrote:
Thank you Debbie, and it is Maria Nichols.. My nightmare story.. I am 41 years
old.. engaged to a man who is blind w / 8 children.. I met him 2 years ago.. We
bought a house last October, and have been planning on getting married by the
end of the year. His mother who is 63 also lives with us, she has onset of
dementia/alzheimers.. I am happy with my family situation.. I am miserable about
this gambling.. I was 1 day away from forclosure on the house, I begged my
parents, and they helped up until hours of the forclosure sale. That was May
21st. I haven't made the next june mortgage payment. I no longer have homeowners
insurance, The DTE bill is 919.00 and I told them I would pay on it by monday, I
got a check on Saturday, and because I didn't have enough for the whole bill, I
went to the casino to *make up* the difference, and gambled it all away in about
2 hours. The phone bill is 200.00 due to shut off, and the cable is in a shut
off status. He is blind, and has no idea what I have
been doing.. I have been lying to the man who I have trusted the most. He has
never been able to trust anyone,and I am being very bad at the lying to him. It
hurts me to lie to him, but to tell him the truth hurts more. I don't know what
to do. He doesn't know that i owe my parents 3000.0 that told them they would
have at the end of the month. I just want to get in my car and drive away.. When
I was so close to the forclosure, I said if God found away for me to get out of
that, I would never gamble again.. and just the little thing sent me right
there.. Also I got a notice in the mail that my license has been suspended due
to a ticket that went to the old address.. Registration / Plate violation. I got
them on May 5, and it should have been April 17, So.. thats another 277 and 45
dollars. I just want to forget all of this mess. I am tired of dissappointing
people.. People are depending on me, and look at me as the one with the
answers.. If they really knew the real pain in me, and
the deception.. I feel just horrible.. and don't know where to start.. writing
this seems to help, but what actions do I take.. Help anyone....

Maria



Debbie Hamilton <thedeb527@...> wrote:
Hello, Maria or Marian?

My name is Debbie and I am a recoverying compulsive gambler. However, the
"recovering" part has not always been the case. I was in a bit of trouble
almost 20 years ago and quit gambling for 12 years. Then because of one
"reason" or another I started gambling again 8 years ago. It has been mostly a
nightmare ever since. I have been arrested twice, convicted of felony theft and
got 4 years probation. I lost my home of 15 years, my new vehicle, two
wonderfully high paying jobs with good benefits and perks and then there were
the relationships, family, friends, you name it I lost it. Then my two children
who are grown and married said NO MORE and gave me tough love. I ended up in a
shelter for the homeless and it has been an uphill struggle ever since. Since
August 2004 I have had one lapse in gambling. I have almost 6 months gamble
free again. I now have my own apartment again, a car, I just got hired at a
pretty good paying job with benefits and most of all my kids are right
behind me now and I am ever so grateful to God and Gambler's Anonymous and these
internet groups for helping me out.

Please write me back and let me know your story. If you need to use my email
address. I am a very compassionate person who wants to see everyone with a
gambling addiction recover from this insidious disease. Also, no matter where
you are living, there may be a counseling center, a treatment center or some
Gambler's Anonymous meetings to go to. Please get some help ASAP!!!!! Check on
the internet---it was a big help to me.

Take care,
Your friend in recovery
Debbie H.

marianichols32 <marianichols32@...> wrote:
I am at the end.. It seems helpless, and I don't like this feeling..
Is anyone out there? I am screaming here..I know someone else has been
in this awful place I am in right now. I need help, I need a friend. I
go over and over in my head why.. why.. but I guess I should try to
ask myself that before I go and just ruin my life.. It seems to be at
an end right now.. the consequences of my actions are too hard to
bear.. the imbarrassment, tne failure..Anyone?




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