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I talk with many people that do not have time to live right. Recently I
talked with an addict that I advise periodically. I say periodically since I
cannot get too invested in any one addict. If I invest too much, I start having
expectations. If I develop exceptions, then these expectations can lead to
resentments. So, I nip it in the bud with how much I give of myself to any one
person. This addict had swollen legs from being overweight for many years from
eating and living wrong. I told her a few years ago to measure her legs to
pinpoint her direction she is headed in with those legs. An addiction can go 3
ways
- it can be increased, decreased or frozen. So it can go with her legs. I
spoke with her a few days ago and she said she had not measured her legs and
recorded their size in inches in a ledger as I suggested she do. I spoke with
her
again 3 days later and she abruptly said she had "no time" in the last 3 days
to measure her legs - so I dropped it.

This is a good example of robbing Peter to pay Paul or how a person is "too
busy for recovery" as I wrote about in an earlier post. Successful recovery
work is much harder than just measuring your legs. This is where the phrase
"first things first" comes from. We need to focus on the important points of our
recovery success and not get lost in areas that end up destroying our recovery.
Be a "meaningful specific instead" instead of a "wandering generality" as Zig
Ziglar says. Other times we just try to avoid the facts and refuse to develop
clarity of our problems. The truth is not pretty many a time for an addict to
see, but without clarity of a problem how can we progress to finding the
solution?

Another person at meeting shared how he had a rage attack from trying to
sponsor another addict and being disappointed. This fellow was in AA, GA, NA, OA
and a rageaholic. He said his rage program was doing good then he blew up when
his sponsee did not do something right, "and even after he had invested so
much time in this person" as he remarked. Luckily for him he only blew up and
did not go back to more destructive ways of living. But it is a good example to
live within our means - even with sponsorship and especially with keeping
expectations low. Do the footwork and release the results to a Higher Power. I
try
and keep whatever time I invest in others to a point where I will not feel
bad if they do not thank me as well as I keep my investment in them limited so
if they do not make use of it I can let it go without feeling bad for putting
too much effort in. In short I have no expectations. That way, I can feel good
for what I have done, as it was what I truly felt like giving freely, but have
not gone into the area of excess that I needed some thanks or even
application of my work for me to feel good. I just try to plant seeds in others
- but my
job is not to make them sprout.

Step 12: having had a spiritual awakening...tried to carry the
message...practice these principles in all our affairs.

Tradition 5: ...carry the message to those that still suffer.

Don't read this post in the wrong light and get discouraged from working with
other addicts or sponsorship. Just be proportionate and realistic in your
efforts and take care of your OWN program first and OTHERS second. Both Step 12
and Tradition 5 are echoed in the phrase: "You can't keep it unless you give it
away." On the surface it looks like we derive benefits from being "generous"
by giving away our program to others. Sure, giving it away to help others is
one of the reasons I discuss so many recovery topics and principles-you never
know when one will take root in someone and help them discover a new life. But,
the real reason I share them is based more on a selfish reason than
generosity. The reason I write about so many recovery topics and in great detail
is;
each time I share them I am reminded to practice these same principles in all my
affairs. The benefits we get from sharing our program are derived from the
practice that we are refreshing our own program and strengthening it each time
we give it away. Generosity has little to do with it. If generosity was the
main requirement for success in a recovery program we could "buy" our recovery
by throwing money at the donation basket when it is passed.

And in the end, if you have no time to live right - then think about scaling
back until you CAN live right...by finding simplicity in your life and
accepting your comfortable capabilities without the need for drugs, crutches and
addictions to allow you to go further than is healthy for you.


Take Care,



V (Male)


For access to my earlier posts on voluntary simplicity, compulsive spending,
debting, compulsive overeating and clutter write: vfr44@.... Any opinion
expressed here is that of my own and is not the opinion, recommendation or
belief of any group or organization.


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