This doesn't look 100% true, but it's one way to say woof...
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They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with
typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church
bulletins or were announced in church services:

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight:
'Searching for Jesus.'

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who
is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they
can get.

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So
ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you
want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious
hostility.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen
in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the
Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him
their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.. Please use the back
door.





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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use
large double door at the side entrance.

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: "I
Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.."

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