Although Milton Friedman has recently acknowledged the erroneous assumptons of
the free market philospohy, he was premature in his reversal, reflecting a not
uncommon mirror image of erratic market tendencies. Had he waited a little
longer, before his public confession of mistaken economic theory, he might have
discovered that he had not gone far enough in his original direction. He came
remarkably close to a super-theory of a "fully-free market" mentality.

Rumblings in the woods suggest that a broader free market philosophy is peeking
up from the horizon. "Cash for Clunkers" was a roaring success, tempting people
into buying new cars that may eventually be repossesed like their abandoned
sub-prime financed homes. Recently, a California High School teacher improved
student grades for a financial contribution, pocketing about $1,400 during one
semester. Some New York City schools are paying children to stimlulate academic
performance. Finally, we are discovering the silver bullet of motivation:
bribery!

The unexplored possibilities for short-term solutions are remarkable. Extending
economic theory into education was a brillinat maneuver, paving the way for
ground-breaking innovatons to address previously unsolved problems in many
arenas. Let us start brainstorming even further than we have in the past, using
free market assumptions.

Consider the plight of many parents who cannot get their children to behave,
even though they have read dozens of books on child guidance and attended scores
of parent education workshops. The innovation "Cash for Compliance" strategy
would establish a financial incentive scale for desired behaviors. For example:
obeying a parental command immediately would earn a child %5.00 with a $3.00
bonus if the command is unquestioned, and a $2.00 bonus if it does not need to
be repeated. For longer range plans, adopting parental advice about choice of
friends would be worth about $10.00/month.

California is considering releasing thousands of people from prison, because
keeping them in jail costs too much. Why not just pay them for not committing
crimes? It might be too expensive to motivate them into becoming model
citizens, but cost effective enough to reduce the overhead of law enforcement.
If it cost $100,000 to investigate, arrest, convict, and encarcerate someone who
stole $10,000, why not just meet them half-way and give them $5,000 and save
$95.000 in overhead? Surely, some people will abuse this system by simply
threatening to commit a crime in order to qualify for the benefit, but let's
face it, no sysyem is immune to exploitation.

Divorce is a often a costly, messy, adversarial experience that pours vast sums
of money into law firms and ties up the courts interminably. The new "Dollars
for Detente" would compensate people for staying in miserable relationships. A
sliding scale could be devised for enduring indifference, rejection,
depreciation, deceit, and betrayal. Even chronic anger and resentment could be
reimbursed in an "earn while you burn" program. Women who no longer care about
their husbands, but need more spendable income, could participate in the
"Lysistrata" program. Sex for money is not a new idea, but having it
home-based may avoid humilating prosecution and uncomfortable sexually
transmitted diseases.

Insurance companies, eager to reduce even further their paltry reimbursements to
mental health professionals, could cut them out enirely by offering new
incentives to their policy holders. A radical "Subsidizing Symptoms" program
would either reduce insurance premiums drastically, or pay people directly for
enduring their emotional distress, instead of seeing a therapist. Of course,
this incentive might appeal primarily to masochists, who might even become
wealthy in the process.

Having briefly explored the individual, couple, and family implications of a
"fully-free market" approach to life, it would be neglegent to omit the wider
social appllication possible in government. Using California as a pilot
location, the "Friedman-Madoff" plan might rescue governor Swartzenegger and his
wild-west state from insolvency. The underappreciated and much maligned Ponzi
scheme, although it has racked up a long line of victims, has not been appliied
at a large enough scale to prove or disprove its effectiveness as a short-term
financial strategy. Utilizing the existing Lottery structure, a state-wide
Ponzi scheme could be designed by Bernard Madoff, after pardoning him and
assigning him to 25 years of commuity service under the supervision of Milton
Friedman.

You think I'm kidding?