Thanks all for the sleeping advice and keep it coming.

Question: can you be attachment parents but transition your baby out of the bed
at 14 months? We've taken the attachment parenting approach through all of
Gianna's first year. But she hasn't needed to nurse at night and Laurel wasn't
getting any sleep. The method was driving mother and baby apart when the day
came around. So maybe we are trying to take a modified attachment approach.
Gianna still gets to nurse during the day whenever she wants basically and
Laurel and I together only been away from her a total of maybe 8-10 hours in
these last 14 months. She doesn't use a pacifier or suck her thumb. And I
would love to keep her in the bed with us but Laurel was struggling with her. I
guess we could consider the king size mattress but I am not sure if we have the
money in the budget.

For attachment parents, when, if ever, is a good time to transition children out
of the bed? I like cosleeping but I don't want to do it past 18 months or so.

Someone else asked about Gianna's naps. She really doesn't nap very well
either. (BTW last night once I handed her off to Laurel she fell asleep
immediately without nursing. Laurel put her in the crib and later when she woke
up she did the screaming thing with me for 5 or so minutes. We just coslept
with her last night and thankfully Laurel was able to get a little sleep. I am
thinking that it might just be a mommy attachment thing right now which we've
seen increasing during the days too.) Basically we have a baby who hates to
sleep whether it is during the day or night. I wish she were more like her
father because I LOVE to sleep. It is one of my hobbies on the weekends.

Conor

Carol & Mark Baron <mbaron474@...> wrote:
Conor,

I'd have a LOT to say about sleep, expecting my 7th, 6th living child. But
I will cut the details and just suggest you invest in a king size bed. Ours
is low on the floor. It save a lot of work and we have had very few sleep
problems and dh and I are not trying to parent in two places for the night.
We have never had time for a lot of parenting at night. We would rather
nurse and sleep and have time for each other unless there's a sick child.
Peaceful nights is about the only way a couple can have time together when
you have several kids. It is not perfect but we don't get to the screaming
stage. That is too stressful. I know some of you may not agree with me but
attachment style parenting does pay off if both parents are on the same
wavelenth and are in agreement. Really, I think that a dad needs to be
supportive of the nursing relationship and the emotional aspect of it when
the baby is an approaching toddler. If a dad wants the baby out of the bed
then mom goes out too. That can be counter productive. In general, people
say that the baby or the nursing is the problem but usually once a need is
met, it goes away. Things change a lot from month to month. I'd rather
have an 18 mos. old nurse than see a kid such their thumb until age 6. The
family bed stage is such a short period of time in the big picture and older
kids do so much better sleeping on their own later. This is helpful for the
next baby that comes along.

Carol





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