Hello Group,
My name is Diane and I can relate to this letter from John. I was
abused as a child and lived with this abuse for many years. When I
tried to tell people what was going on no one would listen not even
my own mother. I ended up married at a young age and had 3 children
very quickly. I was again abused and by the age of 19 I was
divorced. I soon found myself living at home again. It was not that
long until I met my second husband and things seemed to improve in my
life. Little did I know what was going to happen next. The beatings
started with little hits but got worse and my kids were beat. I lived
in fear. I feared the next beating would be my last when I asked for
help it seemed no one would beleive me and what was going on. I took
the beatings many times to spare my children I could not stand to
watch my kids being beaten. I took this for many years and one day I
got brave and left. I am only now getting over what I have lived
through. It has not been easy there were people who told me I could
not do it but I have done it. I am now in college improving myself.
I still have memories that haunt me, I live with these memories each
day. But I know I am getting better I know my life is getting
better. But what I have faced stays with me and will stay with me for
a long time to come but I know I will make it.

--- In child_neglect_abuse@yahoogroups.com, "v8beetle
<v8beetle@m...>" <v8beetle@m...> wrote:
> I know how hard it is to wake up in the morning and function as a
> part of the world when I feel as though I am not part of it. The
> endless questions in my mind making it impossible for me to have
> peace. The doubt in myself, and every other living soul on the
> planet that makes me second guess everything I do. And then I
> remember what I felt like when I was the victim a long time ago,
how
> helpless, alone, and worthless.
> I also wondered if I would ever be reunited with my innocent
> siblings. We were blameless, and yet we paid the ultimate price.
The
> years of lost time, and memories haunt me, and they also drive me
to
> take on the world. I lost my family because of childhood abuse. I
> see and feel the suffering of the million plus children within the
> system today going through the same pain, and uncertainty I went
> through, and i can no longer sit by and hope that the system will
> get better on its own.
> I must get involved. I must take a stand. It is time this
> country had the horrific reality, and its true affects on not only
> the body, but the mind revealed. There are people in this country
> who just don't have a clue. The child protective system is in need
> of help on all levels. They lack the money, manpower, training, and
> compassion to address the issues that plague our country. the
> children within the system are innocent, and yet they are being
> punished because the public is not informed.
> We, the formers, need to tell them. I have lobbied in my
state,
> as well as all of the others. But being one person, I don't have
> much success. I have also lobbied on the federal level, but again I
> have been pawned off because they say it is the individual states
> issue. I thought we were a country, and we were supposed to look
> after one another.
> I guess I am not supposed to care about children in Florida
> that go missing because some untrained, overworked social worker
> isn't paying attention. And I am not supposed to care about other
> states stealing kids because they are confused as to what is or
> isn't abuse, or in Californias case, for federal money. Am I not to
> care for children who die within the system because of lax
policies,
> and people not doing his/her job? Who speaks for those who have no
> voice?
> No one spoke for my brother and I. I wish the had. Maybe
things
> would have turned out differently. The courts, and the child
> protection system say they care, but I know they really don't. I
> tried to test my theory by contacting one of my former social
> workers, and she wouldn't even talk to me. If that is caring, I
> would hate to see what they did if they say they didn't care.
> Abuse scarred us all for life. You will never really be over
> it, but with help you will be able to cope. These children now need
> our help. Those who haven't been victimized may be able to imagine
> our pain, but they will never be able to get the full affect unless
> they have experienced what we have. We can each bring something to
> the table, but the time is now. Be safe, and I wish you all
health,
> and happiness. John