Divorce with Dignity. Mediation allows privacy, fairness and respect!

By Terry Bankert 01/29/08
http://attorneybankert.com/index.php
First Posted to Flint Talk
http://flinttalk.com/viewtopic.php?p=23730#23730
[posted also to Google blog Good Morning Flint, Flint Citizen,Craigs
list,Face Book and My Space, feel free to repost]


Last week I began and completed a 40 hr hands on mediation training.
there are 2 small steps to go and I will qualify for court ordered
mediation. My objective is to grow family and community dispute
mediation as a significant portion of my law practice and community
involvement. So yes the following does look a little like
advertising.

I believe if you talk the talk you must walk the walk. Mediation is
the foundation for the new kinder gentler, fairer Terry Bankert. Stay
tuned.

So let me begin.

To legally dissolve a marriage, a lawsuit must be filed, but it is no
longer necessary to follow the traditional path of litigation to work
out the terms of the divorce. Today many couples are turning to
mediation to resolve their disputes and negotiate the terms of their
divorce.

I have been involved in community mediation since 1987 during my
stewardship of the Flint Ombudsman office. Mediation builds for the
future not tear down because of the past. Mediation is a process in
which an impartial third-party mediator facilitates the resolution of
a dispute by promoting voluntary agreement by the parties.

The mediator facilitates communications, promotes understanding,
focuses the parties on their interests, and seeks creative problem
solving to enable the parties to reach their own agreement. The
mediators can guide you to settlement, prepare the paper work , start
to finish, allowing your family to walk with dignity as its members
embark on new paths.

Goals of Divorce Mediation

Whether divorce mediation is agreed to voluntarily by the parties, or
is court-referred, the goals of the divorce mediation process are to:

Create an equitable, legally sound, and mutually acceptable divorce
agreement;

Avoid the expense and trauma that often accompany litigation; and
Minimize hostility and post-dissolution controversy.

Why Divorce Mediation?

As the number of divorces has increased, divorcing couples have
frequently become frustrated with the humiliation ,excessive costs
and delays associated with an overburdened, adversarial litigation
system, and have sought ways to play a greater role in determining
the details of their divorces. Likewise, the court system has
recognized the importance of developing methods of handling disputes
outside of the courtroom, and so court-related mediation programs
have increased in popularity around the country.

Today, mediation, either voluntary or court mandated, is the
predominant form of alternative dispute resolution for divorcing
couples.

Divorce Mediation: Advantages

Mediation is a forum in which a neutral mediator facilitates
communication between parties to promote reconciliation,
understanding, and settlement. Mediation is particularly suited to
divorces and other family law proceedings because there is likely to
be a continuing relationship between the parties, especially if minor
children are involved. Many divorcing couples find mediation allows
them to avoid the high financial and emotional costs of a litigated
divorce. Because settlement is generally quicker, costs are reduced.

Mediation also allows couples to avoid the risks of trial, protects
confidentiality, and decreases stressful conflict. Mediation may also
protect the children of a marriage from the pain of parental
conflict. Because the parties work to create their own agreements,
couples who mediate their divorce settlement often find greater
satisfaction than those who go to trial. Moreover, the couples learn
skills to help them resolve future conflicts.

The Divorce Mediation Process

Mediation preparation is often limited, as there is no formal
discovery. Frequently, mediation begins with a "general caucus" where
the parties and the mediator meet in the same room. The mediator
establishes the ground rules in an "agreement to mediate." In court-
mandated mediation, the court order will often contain or refer to
the "rules of mediation."

One of the most important mediation rules is the requirement for
confidentiality. Typically, all matters disclosed or occurring during
mediation, and any record made during the procedure, are confidential
and generally may not be disclosed to anyone unless the parties agree
to the disclosure.


The parties in a mediation are not required to reach an agreement,
and sometimes they do not. Whether the case settles or reaches an
impasse, the mediator usually meets with the parties together at the
end of the session. If the case has neither settled nor reached an
impasse, the mediator will likely encourage the parties to attend
another mediation session. If the case does settle, the mediator will
urge the parties to sign a settlement to memorialize the agreement.
Generally, there is no record of the mediation session, and the only
document produced is the settlement (or mediation) agreement. My
office will prepare all documents necessary to cause entry of your
court judgement of divorce.

If settlement is not reached the parties may decide to litigate.

If you would like to explore the mediation process and Divorce with
Dignity both of your are invited to call for an appointment. The
first meeting can be in my office , your church or another neutral
setting you decide on. Terry Bankert P.C. 235-1970 or through
http://attorneybankert.com/



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