Have just joined so I am not completly sure how this works. I am looking to more

experienced members for their advise on how they achieved detachment. I know

members do not offer advice, but I guess if I heard how people achieved

detachment from their alcohilic then "I can take what I want and leave the rest"

I am in the fortunate in that the alcoholic in my life is in recovery. But I am

unfortunate in having an alcoholic in my life at all!!! I am now trying to learn

about detachment as I feel this is the next step I need to take in order to

maintain my sanity. I struggle here though as I cannot differentiate between

detachment and abondonment. How in the name of all that is good and holy do you

detach without adopting and attitude of "Sod You" I truely want to support my

husband and it is fantastic that he is working so hard at maintaining sorbiety,

but how do I support him and mind myself????????

I came to the realization that I'm in control of my own  destination, and

my alcoholic is in control of his own.

I support him by not enabling him, and I make him responsible for  his own

actions. If I allow anybody else to control my emotions, and thoughts,  then

I've lost my sense of direction. I didn't get to this point overnight, it's

  taken me 24 years, and I'm still not done working on me. Learning to "Let

Go and  Let God" helps me quite a bit.

**************An Excellent Credit Score is 750. See Yours in Just 2 Easy

Steps!

(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222377052x1201454391/aol?redir=http://\

www.freecreditreport.com/pm/default.aspx?sc=668072&hmpgID=62&bcd=Jun

eExcfooterNO62)





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

It is great to hear that you have succeeded in achieving detachment, although it

is a little alarming to hear it took you 24 years to achieve it! I hear what you

are saying and agree that is what I need to do, but I am struggling. Did you

just continually say I am not in control of you and eventually it sink in or did

you have some sort of an ephiny? I so desperatly want peace of mind and

contentment. I pray that I will some day realise that.



Thanks for listening.

Yvonne









________________________________

From: "Rhen56@..." <Rhen56@...>

To: chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Tuesday, June 23, 2009 8:21:59 PM

Subject: Re: [chicago alanon] I know he's an alcoholic, I think I'm going mad











I came to the realization that I'm in control of my own destination, and

my alcoholic is in control of his own.

I support him by not enabling him, and I make him responsible for his own

actions. If I allow anybody else to control my emotions, and thoughts, then

I've lost my sense of direction. I didn't get to this point overnight, it's

taken me 24 years, and I'm still not done working on me. Learning to "Let

Go and Let God" helps me quite a bit.

************ **An Excellent Credit Score is 750. See Yours in Just 2 Easy

Steps!

(http://pr.atwola. com/promoclk/ 100126575x122237 7052x1201454391/ aol?redir=

http://www. freecreditreport .com/pm/default. aspx?sc=668072& hmpgID=62& bcd=Jun

eExcfooterNO62)



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]















[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

We have no control over the actions of others , we can only control our

re-actions .

  You must remember that your state of mind is up to you ...You can choose

happiness or choose misery !!

                     have a great day !!

                         Henry











________________________________

From: Yvonne Cuffe <ycuffe@...>

To: chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Thursday, June 25, 2009 9:08:12 AM

Subject: Re: [chicago alanon] I know he's an alcoholic, I think I'm going mad











It is great to hear that you have succeeded in achieving detachment, although it

is a little alarming to hear it took you 24 years to achieve it! I hear what you

are saying and agree that is what I need to do, but I am struggling. Did you

just continually say I am not in control of you and eventually it sink in or did

you have some sort of an ephiny? I so desperatly want peace of mind and

contentment. I pray that I will some day realise that.



Thanks for listening.

Yvonne



____________ _________ _________ __

From: "Rhen56@..." <Rhen56@...>

To: chicagoalanon@ yahoogroups. com

Sent: Tuesday, June 23, 2009 8:21:59 PM

Subject: Re: [chicago alanon] I know he's an alcoholic, I think I'm going mad



I came to the realization that I'm in control of my own destination, and

my alcoholic is in control of his own.

I support him by not enabling him, and I make him responsible for his own

actions. If I allow anybody else to control my emotions, and thoughts, then

I've lost my sense of direction. I didn't get to this point overnight, it's

taken me 24 years, and I'm still not done working on me. Learning to "Let

Go and Let God" helps me quite a bit.

************ **An Excellent Credit Score is 750. See Yours in Just 2 Easy

Steps!

(http://pr.atwola. com/promoclk/ 100126575x122237 7052x1201454391/ aol?redir=

http://www. freecreditreport .com/pm/default. aspx?sc=668072& hmpgID=62& bcd=Jun

eExcfooterNO62)



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]















[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

What I meant by 24 years, is....I'm still and always will be  working on

me. It truly took me about 2 years to learn how to detach. But that  is me.

Others it might catch on before that. It's all on us, and how we choose  to

stick with our recovery. I've always been the caretaker, and that's rather

difficult for me to get away from. It's a role that was taught to me, and

breaking that cycle can be done.

I had to tell myself I was in control of me, and me only. I also  set

boundaries I could adhere to, not ones that I would fear I'd  fluctuate.

**************Make your summer sizzle with fast and easy recipes for the

grill. (http://food.aol.com/grilling?ncid=emlcntusfood00000006)





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Get the book "The Language of Letting Go". It's a process and will take time, be

patient. As with anything, the more you practice, the better you will become. 

I have been on both ends of this recovery journey, personally sober since

1/8/2004 and have a beautiful 18 year old son that has been struggling for 3

years or so.  He will be entering rehab for the 4th time next week, after a

month in jail-3rd time.  It is heartbreaking, but if I can do it, anyone can. 

Today I have internal peace, even when I am surrounded by chaos.







Good luck









----- Original Message -----

From: "Yvonne Cuffe" <ycuffe@...>

To: chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Thursday, June 25, 2009 8:08:12 AM GMT -06:00 US/Canada Central

Subject: Re: [chicago alanon] I know he's an alcoholic, I think I'm going mad

















It is great to hear that you have succeeded in achieving detachment, although it

is a little alarming to hear it took you 24 years to achieve it! I hear what you

are saying and agree that is what I need to do, but I am struggling. Did you

just continually say I am not in control of you and eventually it sink in or did

you have some sort of an ephiny? I so desperatly want peace of mind and

contentment. I pray that I will some day realise that.



Thanks for listening.

Yvonne



________________________________

From: " Rhen56@... " < Rhen56@... >

To: chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Tuesday, June 23, 2009 8:21:59 PM

Subject: Re: [chicago alanon] I know he's an alcoholic, I think I'm going mad



I came to the realization that I'm in control of my own destination, and

my alcoholic is in control of his own.

I support him by not enabling him, and I make him responsible for his own

actions. If I allow anybody else to control my emotions, and thoughts, then

I've lost my sense of direction. I didn't get to this point overnight, it's

taken me 24 years, and I'm still not done working on me. Learning to "Let

Go and Let God" helps me quite a bit.

************ **An Excellent Credit Score is 750. See Yours in Just 2 Easy

Steps!

( http://pr.atwola. com/promoclk/ 100126575x122237 7052x1201454391/ aol?redir=

http://www. freecreditreport .com/pm/default. aspx?sc=668072& hmpgID=62& bcd=Jun

eExcfooterNO62)



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]









[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]