--- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, Henry <henrym64@...> wrote:
>Hi Amanda, My name is Marla and I understand.  I can't believe how
much we at al-anon have in common.  I told my husband about my
childhood before we were married and he still held it against me.
Ive been in al-anon for about two months and it really helps. i spent
years trying to prove to my husband that i was not damaged goods.
That he made a good choice picking me to be his wife, I could not see
how bad the relationship had become.He was always druck, vomiting,
yelling and sick.  I thought that if i cleaned up after him, he would
see how great of a wife I was.

  12 years later i am still picking up after him, i hate myself for
dealing with him as long as I have but what can you do.  I was raised
with an alcholic grandmother and all my step fathers had problem with
drinking.  i thought that was just the way things was.  I was also
abuse as a child by my step father, my mom made me feel that it was
my responiblity to clean the house and take care of my brothers, so I
had no child hood.

My husband is ten years older than me.

All the respondiblity is always on my back.
>        Hi Amanda ,  Welcome to the group .
>     I can feel your pain and i assure you so can everyone else in
this group .
>    Alcoholism is a disease that destroys lives and relationships ,
breaks apart families , and sooner or later  leads the Alcoholic to
the jail , the hospital or the cemetary.
>     There is nothing more important to the Alcoholic than getting
his next drink , Anyone who stands between the Alcoholic and that
drink will be the target of his abuse .  Also just because an
alcoholic stops drinking it don't mean he will all of sudden learn
how to be sweet and pleasant .
>   My Step- father quit drinking 15 years ago and he still has the
personality of a Pit- bull .
>    You need to lose the anger you feel or it will only hurt you ,
i'm not saying to tolerate abuse , but know that it comes from
Alcohol or lack of it , not the person .
>          If you go to a live meeting there is no pressure on you to
talk if you don't want to.  you may want to try a couple different
groups till you find one you are comfortable with .
>      We are also here for you anytime you wanna post .
>                           Hugs , Henry
>
>
>
>
>
> Amanda <amanda.webster@...> wrote:
>           Hi my name is Amanda and this is the first time I have
ever posted
> here. It is also the first time I have ever discussed my situation
> with a group of people who are familiar with alcoholism. I am
> interested to find out if Alanon can help me. I am the 32 year old
> daughter of an alcoholic Father.
>
> If someone would be so kind as to read what I have written and then
> respond as to whether or not Alanon is a good place for me to get
> help- it would mean a lot to me. I don't know if I could go to a
> public meeting. That would be pretty tough for me.
>
> So here goes:
>
> In order to escape the abuse which was going on in my family, I
> decided to leave home at the age of 16. At the time it was what I
> felt I had to do to survive because I had started to think about
> killing myself as a way out. My Dad did not try to stop me because
> he knew if he did- I could turn him in for child abuse or that I
> would be sent to live with my Mom and he did not want to have to
pay
> child support. So he was more than happy to see me go.
>
> I lived in my own apartment (an older girlfriend signed the lease
> for me) and held down a job in a restaurant waiting tables to make
> ends meet. Some of my close friends knew about my situation, but
> nobody wanted to see me get sent away to a children's home. So
> everyone kept things hush hush. I managed to finish high school and
> even received a scholarship and was able to graduate from a big 10
> college and now have a good job here in Chicago. So I guess I am
> really lucky there.
>
> I easily could have wound up on the streets. Don't even think for a
> minute there weren't lots of older men offering me places to
stay...
> but I was smart and I didn't get into that kind of trouble.
>
> I did not have any contact with my Father during college.
>
> I had very little contact with my Brother or my Mother. I think I
> saw them a total of 2 times each from the time I was 18 until my
Mom
> died. But I did remain somewhat close to my Grandparents who both
> died before I graduated from college. Not once- ever- did any
> member of my own family make the 1.5 hour drive to school to see me.
>
> I held/ still hold a lot of anger toward my entire family for not
> dealing with my Father's problem and for allowing him to abuse his
> kids/wife. I had approached my Granparents for help regarding my
> physical abuse- but they did not want to get involved. My mother
> had refused to leave until I was 15 and even then- left us kids
with
> our Father who she knew abused us just as he had abused her.
>
> My Mother passed away from a heart attack in 2003. I never
> reconciled with her before her death- although a good friend did
> talk me into attending the funeral which was terrifying to me. But
I
> am thankful I went. I speak to my brother about once every 2-3
> months but he has also had alcohol problems and tends to be in
> denial about everything so it makes things very difficult to deal
> with. I have seen him 1 time in the past year.
>
> I am having problems with the fact that I feel very alone because I
> have no close family. All holidays are spent alone or with friends
> sometimes if I am lucky- but I never really feel like I am a part
of
> things- more like a charity case when I go to a friend's home. My
> brother spends holidays with Dad so that is not an option.
>
> I tried to come to terms with all of this after my Mom died and
even
> went to visit my father, but I was so terrified and then I learned
> from my Step-Mom that Dad still drinks. When I tried to discuss
what
> had occurred in the past, there was an argument and now we haven't
> talked since. Sometimes I think it is for the best.
>
> I have not been able to have a marriage and have never even been
> proposed too or lived with anyone else. Although all of the men I
> have dated have good jobs and appear to be great catches- most of
> the men I have had what I call serious relationships with have had
> issues with substance abuse- not alcohol- but pot- or were verbaly
> abusive to me. As a result I have never been married and have no
> children.
>
> I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing. I think maybe it is
> a good thing because I probably would have ended up like my Mother.
> I also tend to date men who are very egotistical or self-centered
> and I will spend years trying to "fix" them and get them to commit
> to me although it never ends up happening. I have not had a serious
> boyfriend for 3 years and have not even been able to date any one
> person for more than 2 or 3 months.
>
> Lately, I struggle with the guilt of the decision I made to leave.
> Lately, I have been feeling like maybe my lonliness is my
punishment
> for walking away from my family. But I really did not see an
> alternative. To me it was like a survival instinct. Leaving was the
> only way out.
>
> I am extremely hard on myself and everyone around me. I have very
> low self esteem. I have a lot of anger. I don't smile as much as I
> used to when I believed things would get better. I am less friendly
> and becoming more and more reclusive.
>
> I want more than anything to not be alone anymore and to be able to
> have a relationship with someone who is healthy and who will love
> me. I would like to have a family but I am afraid things will turn
> out bad. The older I get, the less friends I have and it is very
> difficult to deal with daily struggles without a close support
> network.
>
> I used to think I was just having bad luck with guys. Afterall, I
> had been able to overcome my situation and live a fairly normal
life
> despite my upbringing.
>
> But the longer time goes on, the more I struggle with this whole
> thing. I still feel sadness and anger and guilt after all these
> years. I used to think this would all go away. But it hasn't and
> now here I am- 32- and still living alone and still struggling with
> this thing I didn't even choose! It is very hard for me to believe
> myself.
>
> I feel pretty ashamed to be honest with all of you.
>
> I should be happy with everything I have but I am not.
>
> So I spent the first part of my life trying to get out of the
> situation I did not choose. Which I am happy I got out.
>
> I never really had time to stop and feel bad or take the time to
> talk about it with anyone who could really help me. I wanted to
> believe I was strong and that I could handle anything.
>
> Once I told a boyfriend about the situation with hopes he would
> listen and it would make me feel better. But then later on he used
> it all against me by telling me I was damaged goods and that I was
> messed up in the head because of my family. He said all kinds of
> messed up stuff to me. He even went as far as to tell me that his
> mother had suggested he not date me because of my family
> background. Once when I thought I was pregnant he told me he wanted
> me to have an abortion because he felt I would be an unfit mother
> due to my upbringing. So after that- I never talked to anyone
> anymore about what happened to me. I just keep everything inside.
> I felt like if I told anyone, they wouldn't want me.
>
> Because I can't share what has happened to me with anyone in my
life-
> it is hard for me to feel close to people or trust them. Sometimes
> I feel like I am living a big lie. On the outside, people would
> think I probably had this great childhood. I feel like I am acting
> like things are fine and normal in my life when they are not. It
> feels phony.
>
> Now it is all seeming to catch up with me.
>
> I think I need to spend some time figuring out how this might have
> affected me and what I can do to feel better and not attract these
> types of men. Also, is it ok to not want to associate with my
> family? What can I say to guys about what happened and why my
> family is not in my life?
>
> Does anyone think Alanon can help me? If not, does anyone know of a
> place where I could get help?
>
> Thanks.
>
> Amanda
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups gets better. Check out the new email design. Plus
there's much more to come.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Hi Amanda ,  Welcome to the group .
     I can feel your pain and i assure you so can everyone else in this group .
    Alcoholism is a disease that destroys lives and relationships , breaks apart
families , and sooner or later  leads the Alcoholic to the jail , the hospital
or the cemetary.
     There is nothing more important to the Alcoholic than getting his next drink
, Anyone who stands between the Alcoholic and that drink will be the target of
his abuse .  Also just because an alcoholic stops drinking it don't mean he will
all of sudden learn how to be sweet and pleasant .
   My Step- father quit drinking 15 years ago and he still has the personality of
a Pit- bull .
    You need to lose the anger you feel or it will only hurt you , i'm not saying
to tolerate abuse , but know that it comes from Alcohol or lack of it , not the
person .
          If you go to a live meeting there is no pressure on you to talk if you
don't want to.  you may want to try a couple different groups till you find one
you are comfortable with .
      We are also here for you anytime you wanna post .
                           Hugs , Henry





Amanda <amanda.webster@...> wrote:
           Hi my name is Amanda and this is the first time I have ever posted
here. It is also the first time I have ever discussed my situation
with a group of people who are familiar with alcoholism. I am
interested to find out if Alanon can help me. I am the 32 year old
daughter of an alcoholic Father.

If someone would be so kind as to read what I have written and then
respond as to whether or not Alanon is a good place for me to get
help- it would mean a lot to me. I don't know if I could go to a
public meeting. That would be pretty tough for me.

So here goes:

In order to escape the abuse which was going on in my family, I
decided to leave home at the age of 16. At the time it was what I
felt I had to do to survive because I had started to think about
killing myself as a way out. My Dad did not try to stop me because
he knew if he did- I could turn him in for child abuse or that I
would be sent to live with my Mom and he did not want to have to pay
child support. So he was more than happy to see me go.

I lived in my own apartment (an older girlfriend signed the lease
for me) and held down a job in a restaurant waiting tables to make
ends meet. Some of my close friends knew about my situation, but
nobody wanted to see me get sent away to a children's home. So
everyone kept things hush hush. I managed to finish high school and
even received a scholarship and was able to graduate from a big 10
college and now have a good job here in Chicago. So I guess I am
really lucky there.

I easily could have wound up on the streets. Don't even think for a
minute there weren't lots of older men offering me places to stay...
but I was smart and I didn't get into that kind of trouble.

I did not have any contact with my Father during college.

I had very little contact with my Brother or my Mother. I think I
saw them a total of 2 times each from the time I was 18 until my Mom
died. But I did remain somewhat close to my Grandparents who both
died before I graduated from college. Not once- ever- did any
member of my own family make the 1.5 hour drive to school to see me.

I held/ still hold a lot of anger toward my entire family for not
dealing with my Father's problem and for allowing him to abuse his
kids/wife. I had approached my Granparents for help regarding my
physical abuse- but they did not want to get involved. My mother
had refused to leave until I was 15 and even then- left us kids with
our Father who she knew abused us just as he had abused her.

My Mother passed away from a heart attack in 2003. I never
reconciled with her before her death- although a good friend did
talk me into attending the funeral which was terrifying to me. But I
am thankful I went. I speak to my brother about once every 2-3
months but he has also had alcohol problems and tends to be in
denial about everything so it makes things very difficult to deal
with. I have seen him 1 time in the past year.

I am having problems with the fact that I feel very alone because I
have no close family. All holidays are spent alone or with friends
sometimes if I am lucky- but I never really feel like I am a part of
things- more like a charity case when I go to a friend's home. My
brother spends holidays with Dad so that is not an option.

I tried to come to terms with all of this after my Mom died and even
went to visit my father, but I was so terrified and then I learned
from my Step-Mom that Dad still drinks. When I tried to discuss what
had occurred in the past, there was an argument and now we haven't
talked since. Sometimes I think it is for the best.

I have not been able to have a marriage and have never even been
proposed too or lived with anyone else. Although all of the men I
have dated have good jobs and appear to be great catches- most of
the men I have had what I call serious relationships with have had
issues with substance abuse- not alcohol- but pot- or were verbaly
abusive to me. As a result I have never been married and have no
children.

I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing. I think maybe it is
a good thing because I probably would have ended up like my Mother.
I also tend to date men who are very egotistical or self-centered
and I will spend years trying to "fix" them and get them to commit
to me although it never ends up happening. I have not had a serious
boyfriend for 3 years and have not even been able to date any one
person for more than 2 or 3 months.

Lately, I struggle with the guilt of the decision I made to leave.
Lately, I have been feeling like maybe my lonliness is my punishment
for walking away from my family. But I really did not see an
alternative. To me it was like a survival instinct. Leaving was the
only way out.

I am extremely hard on myself and everyone around me. I have very
low self esteem. I have a lot of anger. I don't smile as much as I
used to when I believed things would get better. I am less friendly
and becoming more and more reclusive.

I want more than anything to not be alone anymore and to be able to
have a relationship with someone who is healthy and who will love
me. I would like to have a family but I am afraid things will turn
out bad. The older I get, the less friends I have and it is very
difficult to deal with daily struggles without a close support
network.

I used to think I was just having bad luck with guys. Afterall, I
had been able to overcome my situation and live a fairly normal life
despite my upbringing.

But the longer time goes on, the more I struggle with this whole
thing. I still feel sadness and anger and guilt after all these
years. I used to think this would all go away. But it hasn't and
now here I am- 32- and still living alone and still struggling with
this thing I didn't even choose! It is very hard for me to believe
myself.

I feel pretty ashamed to be honest with all of you.

I should be happy with everything I have but I am not.

So I spent the first part of my life trying to get out of the
situation I did not choose. Which I am happy I got out.

I never really had time to stop and feel bad or take the time to
talk about it with anyone who could really help me. I wanted to
believe I was strong and that I could handle anything.

Once I told a boyfriend about the situation with hopes he would
listen and it would make me feel better. But then later on he used
it all against me by telling me I was damaged goods and that I was
messed up in the head because of my family. He said all kinds of
messed up stuff to me. He even went as far as to tell me that his
mother had suggested he not date me because of my family
background. Once when I thought I was pregnant he told me he wanted
me to have an abortion because he felt I would be an unfit mother
due to my upbringing. So after that- I never talked to anyone
anymore about what happened to me. I just keep everything inside.
I felt like if I told anyone, they wouldn't want me.

Because I can't share what has happened to me with anyone in my life-
it is hard for me to feel close to people or trust them. Sometimes
I feel like I am living a big lie. On the outside, people would
think I probably had this great childhood. I feel like I am acting
like things are fine and normal in my life when they are not. It
feels phony.

Now it is all seeming to catch up with me.

I think I need to spend some time figuring out how this might have
affected me and what I can do to feel better and not attract these
types of men. Also, is it ok to not want to associate with my
family? What can I say to guys about what happened and why my
family is not in my life?

Does anyone think Alanon can help me? If not, does anyone know of a
place where I could get help?

Thanks.

Amanda






---------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups gets better. Check out the new email design. Plus there’s much
more to come.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi my name is Amanda and this is the first time I have ever posted
here. It is also the first time I have ever discussed my situation
with a group of people who are familiar with alcoholism. I am
interested to find out if Alanon can help me.  I am the 32 year old
daughter of an alcoholic Father.

If someone would be so kind as to read what I have written and then
respond as to whether or not Alanon is a good place for me to get
help- it would mean a lot to me.  I don't know if I could go to a
public meeting. That would be pretty tough for me.

So here goes:

In order to escape the abuse which was going on in my family, I
decided to leave home at the age of 16. At the time it was what I
felt I had to do to survive because I had started to think about
killing myself as a way out.  My Dad did not try to stop me because
he knew if he did- I could turn him in for child abuse or that I
would be sent to live with my Mom and he did not want to have to pay
child support. So he was more than happy to see me go.

I lived in my own apartment (an older girlfriend signed the lease
for me) and held down a job in a restaurant waiting tables to make
ends meet. Some of my close friends knew about my situation, but
nobody wanted to see me get sent away to a children's home. So
everyone kept things hush hush.  I managed to finish high school and
even received a scholarship and was able to graduate from a big 10
college and now have a good job here in Chicago. So I guess I am
really lucky there.

I easily could have wound up on the streets. Don't even think for a
minute there weren't lots of older men offering me places to stay...
but I was smart and I didn't get into that kind of trouble.

I did not have any contact with my Father during college.

I had very little contact with my Brother or my Mother. I think I
saw them a total of 2 times each from the time I was 18 until my Mom
died. But I did remain somewhat close to my Grandparents who both
died before I graduated from college.  Not once- ever- did any
member of my own family make the 1.5 hour drive to school to see me.

I held/ still hold a lot of anger toward my entire family for not
dealing with my Father's problem and for allowing him to abuse his
kids/wife. I had approached my Granparents for help regarding my
physical abuse- but they did not want to get involved.  My mother
had refused to leave until I was 15 and even then- left us kids with
our Father who she knew abused us just as he had abused her.

My Mother passed away from a heart attack in 2003.  I never
reconciled with her before her death- although a good friend did
talk me into attending the funeral which was terrifying to me. But I
am thankful I went. I speak to my brother about once every 2-3
months but he has also had alcohol problems and tends to be in
denial about everything so it makes things very difficult to deal
with. I have seen him 1 time in the past year.

I am having problems with the fact that I feel very alone because I
have no close family.  All holidays are spent alone or with  friends
sometimes if I am lucky- but I never really feel like I am a part of
things- more like a charity case when I go to a friend's home. My
brother spends holidays with Dad so that is not an option.

I tried to come to terms with all of this after my Mom died and even
went to visit my father, but I was so terrified and then I learned
from my Step-Mom that Dad still drinks. When I tried to discuss what
had occurred in the past, there was an argument and now we haven't
talked since.  Sometimes I think it is for the best.

I have not been able to have a marriage and have never even been
proposed too or lived with anyone else. Although all of the men I
have dated have good jobs and appear to be great catches- most of
the men I have had what I call serious relationships with have had
issues with substance abuse- not alcohol- but pot- or were verbaly
abusive to me.  As a result I have never been married and have no
children.

  I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing.  I think maybe it is
a good thing because I probably would have ended up like my Mother.
I also tend to date men who are very egotistical or self-centered
and I will spend years trying to "fix" them and get them to commit
to me although it never ends up happening.  I have not had a serious
boyfriend for 3 years and have not even been able to date any one
person for more than 2 or 3 months.

Lately, I struggle with the guilt of the decision I made to leave.
Lately, I have been feeling like maybe my lonliness is my punishment
for walking away from my family.  But I really did not see an
alternative. To me it was like a survival instinct. Leaving was the
only way out.

I am extremely hard on myself and everyone around me.  I have very
low self esteem. I have a lot of anger. I don't smile as much as I
used to when I believed things would get better. I am less friendly
and becoming more and more reclusive.

I want more than anything to not be alone anymore and to be able to
have a relationship with someone who is healthy and who will love
me. I would like to have a family but I am afraid things will turn
out bad.  The older I get, the less friends I have and it is very
difficult to deal with daily struggles without a close support
network.

I used to think I was just having bad luck with guys. Afterall, I
had been able to overcome my situation and live a fairly normal life
despite my upbringing.

But the longer time goes on, the more I struggle with this whole
thing. I still feel sadness and anger and guilt after all these
years.  I used to think this would all go away. But it hasn't and
now here I am- 32- and still living alone and still struggling with
this thing I didn't even choose!  It is very hard for me to believe
myself.

I feel pretty ashamed to be honest with all of you.

I should be happy with everything I have but I am not.

So I spent the first part of my life trying to get out of the
situation I did not choose. Which I am happy I got out.

  I never really had time to stop and feel bad or take the time to
talk about it with anyone who could really help me.  I wanted to
believe I was strong and that I could handle anything.

Once I told a boyfriend about the situation with hopes he would
listen and it would make me feel better.  But then later on he used
it all against me by telling me I was damaged goods and that I was
messed up in the head because of my family.  He said all kinds of
messed up stuff to me. He even went as far as to tell me that his
mother had suggested he not date me because of my family
background.  Once when I thought I was pregnant he told me he wanted
me to have an abortion because he felt I would be an unfit mother
due to my upbringing. So after that- I never talked to anyone
anymore about what happened to me.  I just keep everything inside.
I felt like if I told anyone, they wouldn't want me.

Because I can't share what has happened to me with anyone in my life-
  it is hard for me to feel close to people or trust them. Sometimes
I feel like I am living a big lie.  On the outside, people would
think I probably had this great childhood. I feel like I am acting
like things are fine and normal in my life when they are not. It
feels phony.

Now it is all seeming to catch up with me.

I think I need to spend some time figuring out how this might have
affected me and what I can do to feel better and not attract these
types of men.  Also, is it ok to not want to associate with my
family?  What can I say to guys about what happened and why my
family is not in my life?

Does anyone think Alanon can help me? If not, does anyone know of a
place where I could get help?

Thanks.

Amanda

Hi Mary ,
     Welcome to the group , i'm sorry i didn't get your message posted right away
.
      New members are on moderation till i verify they are not spamers ..you
passed the test , so  i took you off moderation and you are now free to post as
often as  you like , any time  you like .
                          Henry




Mary <mary4468@...> wrote:
           Hello, I'm new to being online. I usually go to Al-anon meetings, but
decided I would check this out. Is anyone online right now?






---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hello, I'm new to being online.  I usually go to Al-anon meetings, but
decided I would check this out. Is anyone online right now?

hello,  i am sorry to hear of your trouble, and also yes, we all do understand
the drill.  i cant advise you at all about the children, i am still fighting my
own demons about raising two kids with an alc. both are adult alc.s now.  the
demon grows as i am raising a six year old with the second alc. i married.  as
far as enabling goes, praise God, i am able to finally say I am free [ most of
the time] from that.  i refuse to remove or help remove any of the effects their
drinking has on them, our home, or work situations.  i do what i can to correct
my wrongs, not theirs. that is up to them. The biggest part of my recovery has
to do with what you said, that here WE are heading down that same path of
destruction. everyday i remind myself that is his path not mine.  i will not let
his illness lead me down any path.  my path shall be paved by my God , and no
one else. i was also scared about meetings face to face.  I think they are my
life line now.  one thing that i realized
  when i found a good group, [ you may  have to try a few til you find the one
that is right for you] is the fears i had of anyone thinking i am an idiot or an
enabler , or weak, went away the first 5 minutes i was their.  i found that i
was no better or worse, richer or poorer, no smarter or ignorant. it was anxiety
that allowed me to continue to enable. if i dont do this, this bill wont get
paid, or if i dont make this excuse for him, people will look at our family in a
bad way, etc... i stopped using the words us and we and realized i did not have
to physically seperate myself from the alc, to be able to seperate from the
tornato booze created for all of us. Their is great power in admitting
powerlessness. and much strength in admitting weakness pray for the courage to
attend a meeting. you are SOOO not alone. i will be praying for you.  stacey

diedrajm <diedrajm@...> wrote:          Greetings all,

I am married to an alc. and have three wonderful children. A few
years back things had got really bad (after 12 years of trying to
deal with it) so I packed up my kids and left. My hubby went to
rehab (a 2 week prog) and got out and was doing good at first. But
I guess that is normal. We were separated for 1 year and he was
doing well (so I thought) and we slowly started to see each other
and let him visit the kids. We got back to together and here we are
four years later...heading down the same path to distruction. He
refuses to go to a meeting, is still in denial, thinks he can
moderate...etc. I am sure you all know the drill.

My questions stems from reading someone else's post about being an
enabler. I fear that is what I am doing and what should I do to stop
it. I have never been to a face to face meeting and frankly am
scared to death (don't know why though). Well any tips or words of
encouragement would be appreciated, especially in regard to my
children. I do so worry about them following in his footsteps.

Diedrajm






IN GOD WE TRUST


---------------------------------
Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls.  Great rates
starting at 1¢/min.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

God bbless you erika. thank you for the reminder that i am progressing , no
matter how many times i stumble. i am here too. for anyone whom i might be able
to help,  stacey

esbucksix@... wrote:
well hon i am married to a ach and a daughter of one too

and i know how hard it is i myself have not been able to make a meeting
outside of the net as of yet but...i can say that i have been to open AA
meetings
with my Mom and with my Mom and my husband. slips do happen. one thing
that was suggested to me is to find a alanon meeting with alateen at the same
time. if you children are older and they have there own talks to just like AA
and alanon im on AOL but do have yahoo. If you ever want to sit down and
chat im here.

I have been married for almost 10 years and I have 4 beautiful children of
ours and a wonderful step son also.

some days are better than others and i will take a reading from the book of
courage to change one day at a time in al-anon II

"" Al-Anon helps many of us to cope with crises that we simply could not
have managed on our own. We learn to lean on a Power grater than ourselves,
and through the faith and support that surrounds us, we discover that we can
live even grow through terrible difficult times. For most of us, the situation
eventually alters, or we learn to find peace with it.

But some of us continue to worry. What if crises return? Al-Anon has helped
before, but will it work for me if I need it again? What if some other
misfortune comes to pass?

I cannot know what the future will bring. my best hope is ever bit as
likely to occur at my worst fear, so I have no reason to give more weight to my
negative assumptions. All I can do is make the most of this day. Today I can
choose to trust my recovery, the tools of the program and my Higher Power, and
to recognize how very far I have come.

Today's Reminder
Today I will take a few minutes to acknowledge my growth. I am not perfect,
but i have certainly have made progress "...we may not recognize our progress
right away, but the effects of working the al-anon program or profound and
lasting." ...In all our affairs""


peace hugs and love
erika

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






IN GOD WE TRUST


---------------------------------
Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football ’06 - Go with the leader. Start your league
today!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

well hon i am married to a ach  and a daughter of one too

and i know how hard it is i myself have not been able to make a meeting
outside of the net as of yet but...i can say that i have been to open AA 
meetings
with my Mom and with my Mom and my husband.  slips do  happen.  one thing
that was suggested to me is to find a alanon meeting  with alateen at the same
time.  if you children are older and they have  there own talks to just like AA
and alanon im on AOL but do have yahoo.  If  you ever want to sit down and
chat im here.

I have been married for almost 10 years and I have 4 beautiful children of
ours and a wonderful step son also.

some days are better than others  and i will take a reading from the  book of
courage to change one day at a time in al-anon II

""  Al-Anon helps many of us to cope with crises that we simply could  not
have managed on our own.  We learn to lean on a Power grater than  ourselves,
and through the faith and support that surrounds us, we discover that  we can
live even grow through terrible difficult times. For most of us, the  situation
eventually alters, or we learn to find peace with it.

But some of us continue to worry. What if crises return?  Al-Anon has  helped
before, but will it work for me if I need it again?  What if some  other
misfortune comes to pass?

I cannot know what the future will bring.  my best hope is ever bit as
likely to occur at my worst fear, so I have no reason to give more weight to my
negative assumptions. All I can do is make the most of this day.  Today I  can
choose to trust my recovery, the tools of the program and my Higher Power,  and
to recognize how very far I have come.

Today's Reminder
Today I will take a few minutes to acknowledge my growth. I am not perfect,
but i have certainly have made progress "...we may not recognize our progress
right away, but the effects of working the al-anon program or profound and
lasting." ...In all our affairs""


peace hugs and love
erika



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Greetings all,

I am married to an alc. and have three wonderful children.  A few
years back things had got really bad (after 12 years of trying to
deal with it) so I packed up my kids and left.  My hubby went to
rehab (a 2 week prog) and got out and was doing good at first.  But
I guess that is normal.  We were separated for 1 year and he was
doing well (so I thought) and we slowly started to see each other
and let him visit the kids.  We got back to together and here we are
four years later...heading down the same path to distruction. He
refuses to go to a meeting, is still in denial, thinks he can
moderate...etc. I am sure you all know the drill.

My questions stems from reading someone else's post about being an
enabler. I fear that is what I am doing and what should I do to stop
it.  I have never been to a face to face meeting and frankly am
scared to death (don't know why though).  Well any tips or words of
encouragement would be appreciated, especially in regard to my
children.  I do so worry about them following in his footsteps.

Diedrajm

hello group.  i got a cool message loud and clear yesterday.a friend
called me 3 weeks ago and said another friend dropped off a wedding
invite for me at her shop, and she would bring it to me. i called her
yesterday to ask if she still had it and when the wedding was.  it was
today.  i was FURIOUS. i asready committed to something else and will
miss the wedding. when i thought about it later, i realized that i put
something very important to me in the hands of an alc. when i was
already well aware of the fact that what she says she will do in the
morning is completely different from what she will do at quitting
time, when she is able to have her first drink. i could have picked up
that invite at anytime and this whole situation whould have turned out
differently.  WHO's FAULT WAS THAT? anyway praying to God to open my
eyesto my own shortcomings is working. and i was sooo greatful to HIM
for the message. then today my daily reading was about letting go and
letting GOD. thanks for letting me share this with you.  what an
enlightenment it was for me.  it will help me on my walk with an alc.
husband and alc. son.  i hope everyone has a great weekend.  stacey

nice to meet you marti.  thank you for your encouraging words.  i did go to a
meeting in mt vernon yesterday and plan to go to the one st. morning.  nice to
hear your spouse is sober.  God bless you both.  take care. i will keep you in
my prayers.

Marti55379 <marti55379@...> wrote:          Hello Stacey!

My name is Marti, and I grew up in Pleasant Plains, Ill., and used to go to
Salem often when I was young.

I know that there are few meetings in that area, but there are many more
meetings in Springfield, if you really need the fact-to-face contact. I
presently live in a little town outside of Minneapolis, MN. I have to travel
sometimes 15-25 miles to find a healthy meeting.

To give you a little background, I am also from an alcoholic family, married
one, and I too have had my bout with the stuff. I am now married to a sober
alcoholic, and we share the love and benefits of that sobriety together one
day at a time. I am now in my late 40's, and a full-time student.

The program has brought me great joy, and opened my eyes to many things I
would have never been able to see without the help of my sponsor, and a
great many friends. I have been around the program for quite a few 24-hours,
and it is not only an honor, but a necessity to share my experience,
strength, and hope with newer people in the program. As they told me in the
beginning, in order to keep it, you have to give it away, just as it was
freely given to you. Please feel free to email me, and I will be happy to
share with you what I can. God Bless you.

All my best,

Marti K.

Shakopee, MN

-----Original Message-----
From: chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com [mailto:chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com]
On Behalf Of staceystaceykershaw
Sent: Tuesday, June 13, 2006 9:46 AM
To: chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [chicago alanon] hello

hi everyone. i am a new member and so happy to find this sight. i was
raised by an alc. married one, married another one, my best friend is
an alc, and so is my sister. both of my adult children are drinkers,
and i in my great wisdom decided if you cant beat them join them at
age 33 and started drinking myself. thank god i had the groups and
council over the last 30 years on and off, it didnt take me long to
figure out what a problem drinking could turn into for me if i kept it
up. i am 42 now. no longer an enabler, but still dont follow my own
advice to others dealing with this. i am looking forward to visiting
with others on line. i live in salem illinois and their are very few
alonon meetings near by. hope everyone is well today. god bless.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






IN GOD WE TRUST


---------------------------------
Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football ’06 - Go with the leader. Start your league
today!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hello Stacey!

My name is Marti, and I grew up in Pleasant Plains, Ill., and used to go to
Salem often when I was young.



  I know that there are few meetings in that area, but there are many more
meetings in Springfield, if you really need the fact-to-face contact. I
presently live in a little town outside of Minneapolis, MN. I have to travel
sometimes 15-25 miles to find a healthy meeting.



To give you a little background, I am also from an alcoholic family, married
one, and I too have had my bout with the stuff. I am now married to a sober
alcoholic, and we share the love and benefits of that sobriety together one
day at a time. I am now in my late 40's, and a full-time student.



The program has brought me great joy, and opened my eyes to many things I
would have never been able to see without the help of my sponsor, and a
great many friends. I have been around the program for quite a few 24-hours,
and it is not only an honor, but a necessity to share my experience,
strength, and hope with newer people in the program. As they told me in the
beginning, in order to keep it, you have to give it away, just as it was
freely given to you. Please feel free to email me, and I will be happy to
share with you what I can. God Bless you.



All my best,

Marti K.

Shakopee, MN



-----Original Message-----
From: chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com [mailto:chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com]
On Behalf Of staceystaceykershaw
Sent: Tuesday, June 13, 2006 9:46 AM
To: chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [chicago alanon] hello



hi everyone. i am a new member and so happy to find this sight. i was
raised by an alc. married one, married another one, my best friend is
an alc, and so is my sister. both of my adult children are drinkers,
and i in my great wisdom decided if you cant beat them join them at
age 33 and started drinking myself. thank god i had the groups and
council over the last 30 years on and off, it didnt take me long to
figure out what a problem drinking could turn into for me if i kept it
up. i am 42 now. no longer an enabler, but still dont follow my own
advice to others dealing with this. i am looking forward to visiting
with others on line. i live in salem illinois and their are very few
alonon meetings near by. hope everyone is well today. god bless.





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

hi everyone.  i am a new member and so happy to find this sight. i was
raised by an alc. married one, married another one, my best friend is
an alc, and so is my sister.  both of my adult children are drinkers,
and i in my great wisdom decided if you cant beat them join them at
age 33 and started drinking myself.  thank god i had the  groups and
council over the last 30 years on and off, it didnt take me long to
figure out what a problem drinking could turn into for me if i kept it
up.  i am 42 now.  no longer an enabler, but still dont follow my own
advice to others dealing with this.  i am looking forward to visiting
with others on line.  i live in salem illinois and their are very few
alonon meetings near by. hope everyone is well today.  god bless.

--- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, "tweetybirdmlb"
<tweetybirdmlb@...> wrote:
>
> --- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, "Marla" <love_oils@> wrote:
> >
> > i've been going to al-anon meeting for a little over a week. i
still
> > find it hard to talk, but i am working on it.  most of the
meeting
> are
> > so small.
> >
> Hi Marla,Mary here,I have been in al-anon for six Years now, I live
in
> michigan. you say there are not many meeting out there, Do you have
> the new comer packect or the book, It helps to read daily, and find
a
> sponcer,and go to more online meeting. If you would like to share
with
Hi, Mary, Marla here, nice to hear from you.  I am the mother of
three. my husband is a alcholic drug addict.  I am trying to follow
al-anon step by step but its hard.
> me
> +a little bit about your self,maybe I can help you in some way. I
can
> let you know about me also.                Take care, mary
>

--- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, "Marla" <love_oils@...> wrote:
>
> i've been going to al-anon meeting for a little over a week. i still
> find it hard to talk, but i am working on it.  most of the meeting
are
> so small.
>
Hi Marla,Mary here,I have been in al-anon for six Years now, I live in
michigan. you say there are not many meeting out there, Do you have
the new comer packect or the book, It helps to read daily, and find a
sponcer,and go to more online meeting. If you would like to share with
me
+a little bit about your self,maybe I can help you in some way. I can
let you know about me also.                Take care, mary

i've been going to al-anon meeting for a little over a week. i still
find it hard to talk, but i am working on it.  most of the meeting are
so small.

Hi Henry,

Good work. I'm glad you know how to do that. I wouldn't have a clue.
Thanks and Happy Easter to you too. Take care, Cindy--- In
chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, Henry <henrym64@...> wrote:
>
> Hi Cindy ...yes way too quiet in here , i put new members on
moderation , if the first post they make is Al-anon related i  allow
the post and take them off moderation , this keeps the Spammers
out , but also keeps the board empty ....lol.
>   So yes post as ofen as you like . I also don't think many people
get every post by e-mail , so they only read the posts when they
check in .
>             Have a nice Easter ,
>               Henry
>
> cynthia_08050 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
>   Hi, I just want to welcome you to the group. Please post as
often as
> you like. There doesn't seem to be much activity here lately. I
know I
> have only recently returned to check out this group. I was very
active
> in the past and would like to see this site real busy and active
> again. As I said in my earlier post, there is a chat scheduled
tonight
> and I hope there is a big turnout. Take care, Cindy
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "chicagoalanon" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  chicagoalanon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. PC-to-Phone calls for ridiculously
low rates.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Hi Cindy ...yes way too quiet in here , i put new members on moderation , if the
first post they make is Al-anon related i  allow the post and take them off
moderation , this keeps the Spammers out , but also keeps the board empty
....lol.
   So yes post as ofen as you like . I also don't think many people get every
post by e-mail , so they only read the posts when they check in .
             Have a nice Easter ,
               Henry

cynthia_08050 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
   Hi, I just want to welcome you to the group. Please post as often as
you like. There doesn't seem to be much activity here lately. I know I
have only recently returned to check out this group. I was very active
in the past and would like to see this site real busy and active
again. As I said in my earlier post, there is a chat scheduled tonight
and I hope there is a big turnout. Take care, Cindy





---------------------------------
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     Visit your group "chicagoalanon" on the web.

     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
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---------------------------------





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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi, I just want to welcome you to the group. Please post as often as
you like. There doesn't seem to be much activity here lately. I know I
have only recently returned to check out this group. I was very active
in the past and would like to see this site real busy and active
again. As I said in my earlier post, there is a chat scheduled tonight
and I hope there is a big turnout. Take care, Cindy

I just looked in the calendar to the left on the screen and there is a
meeting listed for tonight. You just click on the chat button and you
will enter the room. You may be asked if you'd like to download the
chat thingy if you don't already have it. Just click yes and after it
downloads you'll be able to enter the chatroom. I probably won't make
it because I have a face to face meeting about the same time. If I get
home in time I will be there though. I hope that helps you. Take care,
Cindy--- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, "alikksang" <alikksang@...>
wrote:
>
> I'm not sure how the meetings work, can anyone tell me?  And what
time?
>

I'm not sure how the meetings work, can anyone tell me?  And what time?

I appreciate your post. I have been married to an alcoholic close to
30 years now. I recently discovered that he is cheating on me and
has no intention of stopping. When I confronted him about it, he
said he is doing what he has to do and that I should do what I have
to do. You can imagine my horror! He drank alcoholically for most of
our marriage and has been sober, to my knowledge, for a few years. I
have been negatively affected to the point that I have lost myself.
I don't know what to do anymore. I am in so much pain and anguish
and he doesn't even care how much he is hurting me. I assumed he
wanted a divorce. He said he doesn't want a divorce. Now I need to
decide who I am and what I want. I don't have a clue. For the most
part I've been a stay at home mom. That's the way he wanted it. I
had a job early on and it got to the point where he said quit it or
we get a divorce. I quit. I guess that was a mistake. He couldn't
handle taking care of our son after he got home from work while I
worked. After putting up with his verbal and emotional abuse all
these years and devoting my entire life to him and our 4 children,
what do I have to show for it? A big fat zero! I'm left here with no
job or marketable skills and a spouse who seems to be going through
male menopause. Last night I went to a meeting and it felt good to
be there. I attended meetings years ago, but never got a sponser or
applied myself. I now have a sponser and intend to be a regular at
that meeting. I want/need to work the program and heal myself. I
must focus on me for a change. I also have an appointment with a
psychologist this coming Tuesday and I'm looking forward to it. I
need the guidance and help to figure out exactly how to deal with my
new knowledge. I don't see how I was so blind and I'm furious with
myself for allowing my life to be such a waste! I would love to get
any and all feedback from others. I need the support from those of
you who've been where I'm at and any suggestions you may have.
Thanks for listening to me ramble, Cindy  --- In
chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, "Willie M. Stokes"
<williemstokes@...> wrote:
>
> DEAR CYNTHIA
>   I FEEL YOUR PAIN BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WHERE YOUR'E AT IN MY
MARRIAGE. MY HUSBANDS CRACK HABIT CAUSED ME TO LOSE A BRAND NEW
HOME, A GOOD PAYING JOB OF 5YRS, AND A LOT MORE THINGS I DON'T HAVE
THE TIME TO INCLUDE. BUT MOST OF ALL, I LOST MYSELF, AND MY PEACE OF
MIND. I WENT TO MEETINGS FOR AWHILE AND IT DID HELP TO BE AROUND
OTHERS THAT WERE SUFFERING JUST LIKE ME. BUT FOR ME, THAT WASN'T THE
ANSWER. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A SPIRITUAL PERSON, BUT UNTIL I PRAYED AND
I GAVE MY WHOLE PROBLEM TO GOD I FELT LIKE I HAD CHAINS ON ME I WAS
JUST THAT BURDEN DOWN.
>   THAT WAS 7 MONTHS AGO. TODAY I'M FREE OF MY CHAINS AND ALL OF
THE OTHER PROBLEMS. GOD GAVE ME THE STRENGTH AND COURAGE TO WALK OUT
OF MY BONDAGE. I WON'T TELL YOU IT WAS EASY, BECAUSE IT WASN'T. BUT
I HAVE A GOOD PASTOR, AND WITH HIS TEACHING, AND PRAYING FOR ME I'M
A FREE SPIRIT TODAY. I HAVE MY JOY AND PEACE BACK. BUT IF YOU TURN
ALL OF IT OVER TO GOD, TALK TO HIM, ASK HIM TO DIRECT YOUR LIFE AND
FUTURE, HE WILL ANSWER YOUR PRAYER. IT'S TO BIG FOR YOU TO HANDLE.
BUT GOD CAN. I HOPE I'VE SAID SOMETHING THAT WILL BRING YOU PEACE IN
YOUR LIFE. MAY GOD TOUCH YOUR HEART AND YOUR DESTINY.
>
> cynthia_08050 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
>   Hi, I just found a site that might help you find a face to face
> meeting. I hope it does. Good luck.
>
> http://www.al-anon.org/meetings/meeting.html
>
> --- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, Conny VanDusen
> <connybelle@> wrote:
> >
> > I can't find it in the directory at all in St. Clair County at
all.
> >
> > "Dennis T." <threelegacies61901@> wrote:Mel: You can find Al-
> Anon just about everywhere you travel. Try
> > looking up Al-Anon on the Web in the city you are going to; look
> in
> > the phone book when you arrive; or call the national Al-Anon
World
> > Services Office at 1-800-344-2666. The WSO will have a list of
> > meetings close to where you are. Also, if Al-Anon is not listed
in
> > the phone book, try calling a listing for Alcoholics Anonymous.
> They
> > may have a list of Al-Anon meetings in the area.
> >
> > Making contact with us on the computer is a start, but there is
> > nothing like talking face-to-face with someone who understands
> your
> > problem because they've been there. And, as it says in our
> suggested
> > welcome, You can find contentment, and even happiness, whether
the
> > alcoholic is still drinking or not. We won't tell you what to
do,
> but
> > we will help you until you can learn to make the choices that
are
> > right for you.
> >
> > Just know that you are not alone in this journey, and that there
> are
> > plenty of people out there praying for you.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > -- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, "melomite2004"
> > <melomite2004@y...> wrote:
> > > Hi,
> > >
> > > My name is Melody and I am 36 years old with 2 beautiful
> children
> > > ages 17 and 11.  My husband has just been released from an
> > inpatient
> > > program.  This is his 5th one to be exact.  So, I still don't
> feel
> > > like he's getting it deep down.  His drug of choice is crack
> > cocaine
> > > and he also drinks.  It started with the drinking when I met
> him,
> > > but I never new it was a problem (had I know then, I probably
> would
> > > have ran).  His cocaine started when his own cousin introduced
> him,
> > > to it in our own house.  It's been hell ever since.  He's been
> > > drinking and crackin' on and off for about 12 years.  I don't
> know
> > > why I'm still here to tell you the truth.  It's caused the
whole
> > > family to be dysfunctional.  I'm suffering from depression now
> my
> > > son doesn't do well in school; and now that my daughter is
> getting
> > > older I can see who it is really affecting her as well.
> > >
> > > Now that he's out of recovery, what about me.  He's got all
the
> > > tools to try and fight this addition and I don't.  I just
wanted
> to
> > > try this onlne al-a-non since my career doesn't allow me to
> attend
> > > meetings.  I travel 3 weeks out of every month.  I'm hope this
> will
> > > help me since I travel from state to state.
> > >
> > > If there is anyone who understand what I'm going through and
> advice
> > > would help!
> > >
> > > Thanks,
> > >
> > > Mel
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > SPONSORED LINKS
> > Addiction recovery center Recovery from addiction Child support
> recovery Al anon
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
> >
> >
> >     Visit your group "chicagoalanon" on the web.
> >
> >     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> >  chicagoalanon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
> >
> >     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service.
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > __________________________________________________
> > Do You Yahoo!?
> > Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> > http://mail.yahoo.com
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "chicagoalanon" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  chicagoalanon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
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and save big.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

DEAR CYNTHIA
   I FEEL YOUR PAIN BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WHERE YOUR'E AT IN MY MARRIAGE. MY HUSBANDS
CRACK HABIT CAUSED ME TO LOSE A BRAND NEW HOME, A GOOD PAYING JOB OF 5YRS, AND A
LOT MORE THINGS I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO INCLUDE. BUT MOST OF ALL, I LOST
MYSELF, AND MY PEACE OF MIND. I WENT TO MEETINGS FOR AWHILE AND IT DID HELP TO
BE AROUND OTHERS THAT WERE SUFFERING JUST LIKE ME. BUT FOR ME, THAT WASN'T THE
ANSWER. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A SPIRITUAL PERSON, BUT UNTIL I PRAYED AND I GAVE MY
WHOLE PROBLEM TO GOD I FELT LIKE I HAD CHAINS ON ME I WAS JUST THAT BURDEN DOWN.
   THAT WAS 7 MONTHS AGO. TODAY I'M FREE OF MY CHAINS AND ALL OF THE OTHER
PROBLEMS. GOD GAVE ME THE STRENGTH AND COURAGE TO WALK OUT OF MY BONDAGE. I
WON'T TELL YOU IT WAS EASY, BECAUSE IT WASN'T. BUT I HAVE A GOOD PASTOR, AND
WITH HIS TEACHING, AND PRAYING FOR ME I'M A FREE SPIRIT TODAY. I HAVE MY JOY AND
PEACE BACK. BUT IF YOU TURN ALL OF IT OVER TO GOD, TALK TO HIM, ASK HIM TO
DIRECT YOUR LIFE AND FUTURE, HE WILL ANSWER YOUR PRAYER. IT'S TO BIG FOR YOU TO
HANDLE. BUT GOD CAN. I HOPE I'VE SAID SOMETHING THAT WILL BRING YOU PEACE IN
YOUR LIFE. MAY GOD TOUCH YOUR HEART AND YOUR DESTINY.

cynthia_08050 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
   Hi, I just found a site that might help you find a face to face
meeting. I hope it does. Good luck.

http://www.al-anon.org/meetings/meeting.html

--- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, Conny VanDusen
<connybelle@...> wrote:
>
> I can't find it in the directory at all in St. Clair County at all.
>
> "Dennis T." <threelegacies61901@...> wrote:Mel: You can find Al-
Anon just about everywhere you travel. Try
> looking up Al-Anon on the Web in the city you are going to; look
in
> the phone book when you arrive; or call the national Al-Anon World
> Services Office at 1-800-344-2666. The WSO will have a list of
> meetings close to where you are. Also, if Al-Anon is not listed in
> the phone book, try calling a listing for Alcoholics Anonymous.
They
> may have a list of Al-Anon meetings in the area.
>
> Making contact with us on the computer is a start, but there is
> nothing like talking face-to-face with someone who understands
your
> problem because they've been there. And, as it says in our
suggested
> welcome, You can find contentment, and even happiness, whether the
> alcoholic is still drinking or not. We won't tell you what to do,
but
> we will help you until you can learn to make the choices that are
> right for you.
>
> Just know that you are not alone in this journey, and that there
are
> plenty of people out there praying for you.
>
>
>
>
>
> -- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, "melomite2004"
> <melomite2004@y...> wrote:
> > Hi,
> >
> > My name is Melody and I am 36 years old with 2 beautiful
children
> > ages 17 and 11.  My husband has just been released from an
> inpatient
> > program.  This is his 5th one to be exact.  So, I still don't
feel
> > like he's getting it deep down.  His drug of choice is crack
> cocaine
> > and he also drinks.  It started with the drinking when I met
him,
> > but I never new it was a problem (had I know then, I probably
would
> > have ran).  His cocaine started when his own cousin introduced
him,
> > to it in our own house.  It's been hell ever since.  He's been
> > drinking and crackin' on and off for about 12 years.  I don't
know
> > why I'm still here to tell you the truth.  It's caused the whole
> > family to be dysfunctional.  I'm suffering from depression now
my
> > son doesn't do well in school; and now that my daughter is
getting
> > older I can see who it is really affecting her as well.
> >
> > Now that he's out of recovery, what about me.  He's got all the
> > tools to try and fight this addition and I don't.  I just wanted
to
> > try this onlne al-a-non since my career doesn't allow me to
attend
> > meetings.  I travel 3 weeks out of every month.  I'm hope this
will
> > help me since I travel from state to state.
> >
> > If there is anyone who understand what I'm going through and
advice
> > would help!
> >
> > Thanks,
> >
> > Mel
>
>
>
>
> SPONSORED LINKS
> Addiction recovery center Recovery from addiction Child support
recovery Al anon
>
> ---------------------------------
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "chicagoalanon" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  chicagoalanon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>






---------------------------------
   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS


     Visit your group "chicagoalanon" on the web.

     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
  chicagoalanon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.


---------------------------------







---------------------------------
New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your PC and save big.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi, I just found a site that might help you find a face to face
meeting. I hope it does. Good luck.

http://www.al-anon.org/meetings/meeting.html

--- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, Conny VanDusen
<connybelle@...> wrote:
>
> I can't find it in the directory at all in St. Clair County at all.
>
> "Dennis T." <threelegacies61901@...> wrote:Mel: You can find Al-
Anon just about everywhere you travel. Try
> looking up Al-Anon on the Web in the city you are going to; look
in
> the phone book when you arrive; or call the national Al-Anon World
> Services Office at 1-800-344-2666. The WSO will have a list of
> meetings close to where you are. Also, if Al-Anon is not listed in
> the phone book, try calling a listing for Alcoholics Anonymous.
They
> may have a list of Al-Anon meetings in the area.
>
> Making contact with us on the computer is a start, but there is
> nothing like talking face-to-face with someone who understands
your
> problem because they've been there. And, as it says in our
suggested
> welcome, You can find contentment, and even happiness, whether the
> alcoholic is still drinking or not. We won't tell you what to do,
but
> we will help you until you can learn to make the choices that are
> right for you.
>
> Just know that you are not alone in this journey, and that there
are
> plenty of people out there praying for you.
>
>
>
>
>
> -- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, "melomite2004"
> <melomite2004@y...> wrote:
> > Hi,
> >
> > My name is Melody and I am 36 years old with 2 beautiful
children
> > ages 17 and 11.  My husband has just been released from an
> inpatient
> > program.  This is his 5th one to be exact.  So, I still don't
feel
> > like he's getting it deep down.  His drug of choice is crack
> cocaine
> > and he also drinks.  It started with the drinking when I met
him,
> > but I never new it was a problem (had I know then, I probably
would
> > have ran).  His cocaine started when his own cousin introduced
him,
> > to it in our own house.  It's been hell ever since.  He's been
> > drinking and crackin' on and off for about 12 years.  I don't
know
> > why I'm still here to tell you the truth.  It's caused the whole
> > family to be dysfunctional.  I'm suffering from depression now
my
> > son doesn't do well in school; and now that my daughter is
getting
> > older I can see who it is really affecting her as well.
> >
> > Now that he's out of recovery, what about me.  He's got all the
> > tools to try and fight this addition and I don't.  I just wanted
to
> > try this onlne al-a-non since my career doesn't allow me to
attend
> > meetings.  I travel 3 weeks out of every month.  I'm hope this
will
> > help me since I travel from state to state.
> >
> > If there is anyone who understand what I'm going through and
advice
> > would help!
> >
> > Thanks,
> >
> > Mel
>
>
>
>
> SPONSORED LINKS
> Addiction recovery center Recovery from addiction Child support
recovery Al anon
>
> ---------------------------------
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "chicagoalanon" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  chicagoalanon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

New members will now be moderated , this should keep the spam-bots out
if i did it right ...lol
if anyone has a problem let me know .
      Henry

just curious, isnt there a way that the moderator can change the settings so
that s/he has to approve all messages before they are posted?  i run a group
for my business an dim pretty sure i have the settings set up that way.
then the mod would know who the spammers are and could boot them.  i know it
might be more work for them to have to approve posts before they are posted,
but it would save everyone some spam about life-saving grocery schemes and
singles websites.  :)

On 1/25/06, rastewart50 <rastewart50@...> wrote:
>
> Thanks on behalf of all of us, Henry. Now I see here's helpful Miriam
> who wants to cut us all in on the opportunity of a lifetime. Think of
> it this way, you don't get a salary, you don't get benefits, but you
> sure have job security!
>
> Rich
>
> --- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, Henry <henrym64@y...> wrote:
> >
> >              Angela,
> >     you will be happy to know that i booted lovable little Brittney
> from the group along with several of her Bot-buddies just yesterday .
> >   It's a dirty job , but someone has to do it .
> >   had i know Brittney was indeed a bot , i would have booted her
> sooner , my bad , Sorry .
> >                                  have a spamfree day !!!!!!!
> >                                         Hugs , Henry
> >
> > angela <ajones.1@n...> wrote:
> >   Hey,
> > Haven't been on in a while. My email for some reason was bouncing
> this
> > groups emails. The first email i get from this group was a singles
> > website from brittney-steele810@h... It came as the
> > only message in the digest.
> >
> > I just think its sad that people with real problems come here for
> help
> > and people seem to treat it as a joke or their own personal add
> agency.
> >
> > Like in a real meeting I think outside issues need to stay outside
> so
> > that we can share our experience, strength, and hope to those that
> are
> > hurting. Not to mention further our own healing.
> >
> > Just my opinion.
> > Angel
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >   SPONSORED LINKS
> >         Addiction recovery program   Recovery from addiction
> Addiction recovery center     Christian addiction recovery   Al anon
> Child support recovery
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> >   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
> >
> >
> >     Visit your group "chicagoalanon" on the web.
> >
> >     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> >  chicagoalanon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
> >
> >     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service.
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > Do you Yahoo!?
> >  With a free 1 GB, there's more in store with Yahoo! Mail.
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>  ------------------------------
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>    -  Visit your group
"chicagoalanon<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/chicagoalanon>"
>    on the web.
>
>    -  To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>    
chicagoalanon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com<chicagoalanon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.\
com?subject=Unsubscribe>
>
>    -  Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
>    Service <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
>
>
>  ------------------------------
>



--
www.rosiebaby.com

Custom Mei Tai baby carriers, Shopping Cart Covers, and more!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Thanks on behalf of all of us, Henry. Now I see here's helpful Miriam
who wants to cut us all in on the opportunity of a lifetime. Think of
it this way, you don't get a salary, you don't get benefits, but you
sure have job security!

Rich

--- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, Henry <henrym64@y...> wrote:
>
>              Angela,
>     you will be happy to know that i booted lovable little Brittney
from the group along with several of her Bot-buddies just yesterday .
>   It's a dirty job , but someone has to do it .
>   had i know Brittney was indeed a bot , i would have booted her
sooner , my bad , Sorry .
>                                  have a spamfree day !!!!!!!
>                                         Hugs , Henry
>
> angela <ajones.1@n...> wrote:
>   Hey,
> Haven't been on in a while. My email for some reason was bouncing
this
> groups emails. The first email i get from this group was a singles
> website from brittney-steele810@h... It came as the
> only message in the digest.
>
> I just think its sad that people with real problems come here for
help
> and people seem to treat it as a joke or their own personal add
agency.
>
> Like in a real meeting I think outside issues need to stay outside
so
> that we can share our experience, strength, and hope to those that
are
> hurting. Not to mention further our own healing.
>
> Just my opinion.
> Angel
>
>
>
>
>
>   SPONSORED LINKS
>         Addiction recovery program   Recovery from addiction
Addiction recovery center     Christian addiction recovery   Al anon
Child support recovery
>
> ---------------------------------
>   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "chicagoalanon" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  chicagoalanon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Do you Yahoo!?
>  With a free 1 GB, there's more in store with Yahoo! Mail.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Angela,
     you will be happy to know that i booted lovable little Brittney from the
group along with several of her Bot-buddies just yesterday .
   It's a dirty job , but someone has to do it .
   had i know Brittney was indeed a bot , i would have booted her sooner , my bad
, Sorry .
                                  have a spamfree day !!!!!!!
                                         Hugs , Henry

angela <ajones.1@...> wrote:
   Hey,
Haven't been on in a while. My email for some reason was bouncing this
groups emails. The first email i get from this group was a singles
website from brittney-steele810@.... It came as the
only message in the digest.

I just think its sad that people with real problems come here for help
and people seem to treat it as a joke or their own personal add agency.

Like in a real meeting I think outside issues need to stay outside so
that we can share our experience, strength, and hope to those that are
hurting. Not to mention further our own healing.

Just my opinion.
Angel





   SPONSORED LINKS
         Addiction recovery program   Recovery from addiction   Addiction
recovery center     Christian addiction recovery   Al anon   Child support
recovery

---------------------------------
   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS


     Visit your group "chicagoalanon" on the web.

     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
  chicagoalanon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.


---------------------------------






---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
  With a free 1 GB, there's more in store with Yahoo! Mail.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I know what you mean, Angel. For what it may be worth, it's not
someone specifically targeting our group, it's spammers sending their
disguised ads to every group whose address they can get hold of.

Unfortunately moderating a group is a time-consuming volunteer duty,
so these junk messages get through. Until they can be deleted and the
senders blocked, probably the best thing we can do is ignore them.

Rich

--- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, "angela" <ajones.1@n...> wrote:
>
> Hey,
> Haven't been on in a while. My email for some reason was bouncing
this
> groups emails. The first email i get from this group was a singles
> website from brittney-steele810@h... It came as the
> only message in the digest.
>
> I just think its sad that people with real problems come here for
help
> and people seem to treat it as a joke or their own personal add
agency.
>
> Like in a real meeting I think outside issues need to stay outside
so
> that we can share our experience, strength, and hope to those that
are
> hurting. Not to mention further our own healing.
>
> Just my opinion.
> Angel
>

Hey,
Haven't been on in a while. My email for some reason was bouncing this
groups emails. The first email i get from this group was a singles
website from brittney-steele810@.... It came as the
only message in the digest.

I just think its sad that people with real problems come here for help
and people seem to treat it as a joke or their own personal add agency.

Like in a real meeting I think outside issues need to stay outside so
that we can share our experience, strength, and hope to those that are
hurting. Not to mention further our own healing.

Just my opinion.
Angel