hi,

I am new to the al-anon world, but recently have become motivated to
see what it is about.

The website for the northern illinois meetings do not break out what
kind of meeting it is.

I was wondering if anyone could let me know if there is a meeting for
beginners of al-anon. In the evening. In a non-denominational
setting.

I realize that there are references to "God" in the twelve step
programs, but I am egnostic and would prefer to not use that word
while being in the program. (Generally it would make me uncomfortable)

If you know of something that would fit me, please let me know, I
would appreciate it very much!!!

email me at jesuisdiva@...

Daily Meditations for Co Dependency

http://www.hazelden.org/servlet/hazelden/thoughts?
cat_id=1904&page_id=25020

Daily Meditation, A life of my Own

----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------

Today's thought is:
Every human being brings something very special to the world.

When our lives were wracked by our close association with people
suffering from the disease of chemical dependency, we lost a sense of
who we really were. Seeing ourselves through the behavior of others
cancelled out our positive qualities, and our self-esteem plummeted.

The program, particularly the Steps, helps us regain the knowledge of
who we are. And through that process we discover the qualities we
have that we can share with others. The willingness to "take
inventory" of our behavior, our thoughts, and our values is the place
to begin.

Accepting that every individual is endowed with a special talent that
is unique and necessary to the whole of humanity helps each of us,
especially on the days we'd rather hide under the covers. We do have
something to give everyone we meet today. How we thought of ourselves
in the past as the result of the alcoholism around us can't block us
any longer. We are free and our talents are needed.

Every situation I meet today will be affected by my presence. I have
something to give that only I can give.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
A Life of My Own by Karen Casey
  __________________________

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

George Bernard Shaw

http://www.niafg.org/zzipfind.asp

http://www.angelrays.com/fla/legend.html

Hi Janice,
   My thoughts are with you.....can you try looking online or at your
local public library.... here in Florida they have Alanon brochures.
Alanon has really helped me to understand why I was in the
relationships that I was.....and why I act the way I have.....it's a
good thing.  Happy Holidays to you and yours,
Susie


--- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, "janice_archivers"
<janice_archivers@y...> wrote:
>
> Hi,
> I need to find help.  My husband has been in trouble for
> 7 years now.  I kicked him out of the house 4 months ago (after I
> got out of the hospital.)  I have two wonderful teenagers, one in
> college and one in High School.  My husband moved in with his
mother,
> all he does is drink and do drugs.
>
> I have kept this secret for so long.  My best friend said  I need
> to attend a meeting and work this out.  I am doing my best...
>
> Regards,
> Janice

Hi,
I need to find help.  My husband has been in trouble for
7 years now.  I kicked him out of the house 4 months ago (after I
got out of the hospital.)  I have two wonderful teenagers, one in
college and one in High School.  My husband moved in with his mother,
all he does is drink and do drugs.

I have kept this secret for so long.  My best friend said  I need
to attend a meeting and work this out.  I am doing my best...

Regards,
Janice

Susan ,
    I think there used to be  weekly get togethers in the group chat room , but
i'm not sure if anyone still goes in there anymore or not .
There are 12 steps in al-anon , this is step 1 .
  1) "We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives have
become unmanageable. "
   This means we surrender and stop the battle with Alcohol that we can't win ,
this surrender will free us .
there is a good book that is used in Al-Anon called .....Courage to Change,  One
day at a time in Al-Anon .
also remember the Serenity prayer.....
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things i can not change , Courage to
change the things i can , And the wisdom to know the difference .

  Susan  you are always welcome to post here anytime you need a friend , it was
my pleasure to meet you .
             keep in touch ,
               Henry


Susan Wendt <susanroo61@...> wrote:
Henry, I want to thank you. You did help me with what you had to say. You made a
lot of sense to me. It does help knowing others understand. And, yes I do think
I need help also because of how it has affected me. The drinking affects so many
things. I even look at myself differently now. I'm starting to see myself in my
husbands eyes. And that is a bad thing. He sees me differently when he drinks,
and has said so many hurtful things to me. He has lied.And it is my choice how I
react during a disagreement. I usually let my anger and resentment take over,
and that doesn't solve anything. And you nailed it on the head when you said you
can't win when fighting with a drunk. I've been with my husband since 1998, been
married for a little over 2 years. I saw the signs but didn't want to admit it
to myself. Then I thought I could just fix the problem, boy was I ever wrong. I
love my husband very much, but I hate the way his drinking changes him. All I
know is that you made me feel so not
alone and it helped so much that you understood. Thank you for taking the time
to respond to my letter. Like I said in my letter this is the first group for
me, so I have no clue what to do. Is it all my just e-mails? I guess I'll learn
as I go. Thanks again for your help. I hope you have a good night.

                                Susan





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Henry, I want to thank you. You did help me with what you had to say. You made a
lot of sense to me. It does help knowing others understand. And, yes I do think
I need help also because of how it has affected me. The drinking affects so many
things. I even look at myself differently now. I'm starting to see myself in my
husbands eyes. And that is a bad thing. He sees me differently when he drinks,
and has said so many hurtful things to me. He has lied.And it is my choice how I
react during a disagreement. I usually let my anger and resentment take over,
and that doesn't solve anything. And you nailed it on the head when you said you
can't win when fighting with a drunk. I've been with my husband since 1998, been
married for a little over 2 years. I saw the signs but didn't want to admit it
to myself. Then I thought I could just fix the problem, boy was I ever wrong. I
love my husband very much, but I hate the way his drinking changes him. All I
know is that you made me feel so not
  alone and it helped so much that you understood. Thank you for taking the time
to respond to my letter. Like I said in my letter this is the first group for
me, so I have no clue what to do. Is it all my just e-mails? I guess I'll learn
as I go. Thanks again for your help. I hope you have a good night.

                                Susan





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This is the first time I've ever joined a group. I have no idea where to even
start. My husband is an alcoholic and it is ruining our relationship. When he
drinks a lot he gets very mean. He has never hit me, but the verbal abuse and
mental abuse is bad. He can drink 17 beers in less than 5 hours. He tells me I
make it a problem, because he doesn't have one. I just feel so alone at times.
He seems to have either a split personality or major mood swings. I have talked
to him several times regarding his drinking and nothing seems to help. I know he
loves me, but he needs the alcohol more than he needs me it seems. I just hate
living like this. I won't go out with him anymore because he gets so verbally
abusive to me. I am just looking for any ideas on how to help him. I'm hoping
someone might be able to give me some advice on how to handle this. I have so
much to say and none of it is good but it all has to do with his drinking. He is
his worst enemy that is for sure. If anyone has any
  ideas, please let me know. I feel like I'm drowning.

                                   Thank you,
                                        Susan









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hi, I am an old member not participating and need contact with any
alanon person
It looks like I miss the meetings.
my best email is zoesangel@...
thank you for reading this

thanks for sharing Angela ,
i'm sure you will find another job , the only limits on us are the ones we place
on ourselves.........I was workin on my van today , and the hardest part was
gettin started . i was tempted to just take it to the garage and pay someone to
fix it  , but i thought i'm not gonna let this van beat me .....after a few 
hours of work ,  cursing , bangin my head on the hood twice , scraping my
knuckles, it was done .  my cousin did come over and help me out or i might
still be out there .  God knew i needed help , so he sent it .
         Best of luck finding a job ,
            Henry

angela <angellettingo2002@...> wrote:
Unlike some i come here sharing my experience, strength, and hope.

Alot of stuff has happened lately. I lost my job for the second
time. Only not from the same company, and not of any fault of mine.
It's very hard to look for a job for me. I only know how to do one
thing, and the need for it is almost non-existant.Having to do alot
of lettingo and letting God. Only not of people, but of the future
and my life.
But on the up side of things i can go to more meetings. Which the
job i lost was keeping me from attending, but one meeting a week. As
opposed to 3 to 4.
Also an opportunity to lean on God a WHOLE BUNCH and i hope let
people see what an awesome & and trust worthy God he is.
Also gives me time to finish working my steps.
And be there for my daughter . It's going to be a rough couple of
weeks for her emotionally.
It also will be an opportunity to work on managing my money better.
I hope to keep the optomistic attitude during the days ahead. One
day at a time.
Thanks for letting me share,
angellettingo2002


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It's nice to have a place to go and share your feelings....just putting them
down in writing sometimes helps me....a catharsis of sorts.   Is there anyone
out there who cares or is listening.  Yes I think so.  Well I am here.  I think
of the saying reminding us that when one door closes....it is so another can
open.  And also remembering that we may not know why things are happening to us
at the moment, but that God has a plan, and that there is a reason for
everything.   God Bless and take care,

susie



angela <angellettingo2002@...> wrote: Unlike some i come here sharing my
experience, strength, and hope.

Alot of stuff has happened lately. I lost my job for the second
time. Only not from the same company, and not of any fault of mine.
It's very hard to look for a job for me. I only know how to do one
thing, and the need for it is almost non-existant.Having to do alot
of lettingo and letting God. Only not of people, but of the future
and my life.
But on the up side of things i can go to more meetings. Which the
job i lost was keeping me from attending, but one meeting a week. As
opposed to 3 to 4.
Also an opportunity to lean on God a WHOLE BUNCH and i hope let
people see what an awesome & and trust worthy God he is.
Also gives me time to finish working my steps.
And be there for my daughter . It's going to be a rough couple of
weeks for her emotionally.
It also will be an opportunity to work on managing my money better.
I hope to keep the optomistic attitude during the days ahead. One
day at a time.
Thanks for letting me share,
angellettingo2002


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Unlike some i come here sharing my experience, strength, and hope.

Alot of stuff has happened lately. I lost my job for the second
time. Only not from the same company, and not of any fault of mine.
It's very hard to look for a job for me. I only know how to do one
thing, and the need for it is almost non-existant.Having to do alot
of lettingo and letting God. Only not of people, but of the future
and my life.
But on the up side of things i can go to more meetings. Which the
job i lost was keeping me from attending, but one meeting a week. As
opposed to 3 to 4.
Also an opportunity to lean on God a WHOLE BUNCH and i hope let
people see what an awesome & and trust worthy God he is.
Also gives me time to finish working my steps.
And be there for my daughter . It's going to be a rough couple of
weeks for her emotionally.
It also will be an opportunity to work on managing my money better.
I hope to keep the optomistic attitude during the days ahead. One
day at a time.
Thanks for letting me share,
angellettingo2002

--- f h <boriqua2655@...> wrote:
> Thank you for your kind thoughts! It is always so
> nice
> to hear wonderful wishes! I too hope you're year is
> going well for you one day at a time!
>
> maree
> --- spanky <spanky_stl@...> wrote:
> > sometimes i think we all get so wrapped up in our
> > own crap that we forget the strength we find in
> > reaching out to other families in recovery.  i
> know
> > i'm guilty of this.  i wish all a happy new year
> and
> > a year full of blessing and sobriety no matter how
> > belated it is.
> > i will make more of a concerted effort.
> > spanky
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > Do you Yahoo!?
> > Yahoo! Finance Tax Center - File online. File on
> > time.
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been
> > removed]
> >
> >
>
>
> =====
> ~Florence M.S.H.~
>
> __________________________________
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Finance Tax Center - File online. File on
> time.
> http://taxes.yahoo.com/filing.html
>


=====
~Florence M.S.H.~

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--- f h <boriqua2655@...> wrote:
> Greetings to you all...I still go to at least two
> meetings a week and read my books daily...love the
> Forum as well...this weekend am going to the
> assembly
> in Tucson as I am a GR for my home group. I just
> love
> getting together with other winners and doing
> service
> work! Hope to hear from you all again!!
>
> maree
> --- Henry <henrym64@...> wrote:
> > well Merry Christmas to you too.....it's nice to
> see
> > that someone else in this group is still alive , i
> > don't think many people are getting E-mail
> messages
> > , so unless they check in now and then , there
> isn't
> > alot of activity in here .
> > i try to focus on my recovery , but i haven't been
> > to a meeting in 2 years .i do open my courage to
> > change book now and then .
> > it was nice to hear from you , keep in touch .
> >            Hugs , Henry
> >
> > angela <angellettingo2002@...> wrote:
> > I have been away from the group for a long
> while,but
> > when i saw the
> > latest posts, i am not the only one.
> > This is March!! In case anyone lost track of time.
> > Hope to be back more often in the future. I hope
> > everyone is still
> > active in meetings and their recovery.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > Yahoo! Groups Links
> >
> >    To visit your group on the web, go to:
> > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/chicagoalanon/
> >
> >    To unsubscribe from this group, send an email
> to:
> > chicagoalanon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
> >
> >    Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the
> > Yahoo! Terms of Service.
> >
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > Do you Yahoo!?
> > Yahoo! Finance Tax Center - File online. File on
> > time.
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been
> > removed]
> >
> >
>
>
> =====
> ~Florence M.S.H.~
>
> __________________________________
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Finance Tax Center - File online. File on
> time.
> http://taxes.yahoo.com/filing.html
>


=====
~Florence M.S.H.~

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Greetings to you all...I still go to at least two
meetings a week and read my books daily...love the
Forum as well...this weekend am going to the assembly
in Tucson as I am a GR for my home group. I just love
getting together with other winners and doing service
work! Hope to hear from you all again!!

maree
--- Henry <henrym64@...> wrote:
> well Merry Christmas to you too.....it's nice to see
> that someone else in this group is still alive , i
> don't think many people are getting E-mail messages
> , so unless they check in now and then , there isn't
> alot of activity in here .
> i try to focus on my recovery , but i haven't been
> to a meeting in 2 years .i do open my courage to
> change book now and then .
> it was nice to hear from you , keep in touch .
>            Hugs , Henry
>
> angela <angellettingo2002@...> wrote:
> I have been away from the group for a long while,but
> when i saw the
> latest posts, i am not the only one.
> This is March!! In case anyone lost track of time.
> Hope to be back more often in the future. I hope
> everyone is still
> active in meetings and their recovery.
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>    To visit your group on the web, go to:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/chicagoalanon/
>
>    To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> chicagoalanon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>    Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the
> Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Finance Tax Center - File online. File on
> time.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>


=====
~Florence M.S.H.~

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http://taxes.yahoo.com/filing.html

Thank you for your kind thoughts! It is always so nice
to hear wonderful wishes! I too hope you're year is
going well for you one day at a time!

maree
--- spanky <spanky_stl@...> wrote:
> sometimes i think we all get so wrapped up in our
> own crap that we forget the strength we find in
> reaching out to other families in recovery.  i know
> i'm guilty of this.  i wish all a happy new year and
> a year full of blessing and sobriety no matter how
> belated it is.
> i will make more of a concerted effort.
> spanky
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Finance Tax Center - File online. File on
> time.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>


=====
~Florence M.S.H.~

__________________________________
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http://taxes.yahoo.com/filing.html

sometimes i think we all get so wrapped up in our own crap that we forget the
strength we find in reaching out to other families in recovery.  i know i'm
guilty of this.  i wish all a happy new year and a year full of blessing and
sobriety no matter how belated it is.
i will make more of a concerted effort.
spanky


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Hi all, I am still here too......I am real bad about going to meetings......but
I do miss the one I use to go to.  I like to read my Hope for Today meditations
and Hazelton's online daily email message.  I feel like I am getting better, One
Day at a Time.  It is slow progress to change oneselve's behavior and ways of
stinkin thinking after so many years....but I find myself progressing despite
myself, and I am grateful.

Hugs to all, susie



Henry <henrym64@...> wrote: well Merry Christmas to you too.....it's nice
to see that someone else in this group is still alive , i don't think many
people are getting E-mail messages , so unless they check in now and then ,
there isn't alot of activity in here .
i try to focus on my recovery , but i haven't been to a meeting in 2 years .i do
open my courage to change book now and then .
it was nice to hear from you , keep in touch .
            Hugs , Henry

angela <angellettingo2002@...> wrote:
I have been away from the group for a long while,but when i saw the
latest posts, i am not the only one.
This is March!! In case anyone lost track of time.
Hope to be back more often in the future. I hope everyone is still
active in meetings and their recovery.




---------------------------------
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well Merry Christmas to you too.....it's nice to see that someone else in this
group is still alive , i don't think many people are getting E-mail messages ,
so unless they check in now and then , there isn't alot of activity in here .
i try to focus on my recovery , but i haven't been to a meeting in 2 years .i do
open my courage to change book now and then .
it was nice to hear from you , keep in touch .
            Hugs , Henry

angela <angellettingo2002@...> wrote:
I have been away from the group for a long while,but when i saw the
latest posts, i am not the only one.
This is March!! In case anyone lost track of time.
Hope to be back more often in the future. I hope everyone is still
active in meetings and their recovery.




---------------------------------
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    To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/chicagoalanon/

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I have been away from the group for a long while,but when i saw the
latest posts, i am not the only one.
This is March!! In case anyone lost track of time.
Hope to be back more often in the future. I hope everyone is still
active in meetings and their recovery.

Hi and thank you for the Holiday greetings Henry....Same to you!
I can relate to that yes and no thing....When we feel guilty for
saying no...this makes us easily manipulated by people including our
alcoholics.  But you have the key there...acting in our own best
interest. We have to remember to take care of me first, and know that
sometimes we have to say no to do this. I am thinking that it gets
easier with practice. And maybe someday we are comfortable with it
lol.  Hugs, susie


--- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, "Henry" <henrym64@y...> wrote:
>
>   i'd like to wish everone a Merry Christmas and Happy ,Healthy New
> Year  .  I have one little defect of character i'm ready for God to
> remove .....saying yes when i want to say no , or saying no and
> feeling guilty for it . maybe thats 2 defects .....lol
>
> todays reminder from.... One day at a time in Al-anon II
> it can be very empowering to take responsability for my own
choices .
> i will act in my own best interest today .
>
>
> "I would do well to accept the challenge to look to my own recovery
> before i spend any more of my precious life wishing the alcoholic
> would change... "
>
>    Living with Sobriety
>
>       Peace be with you all
>            Henry

Happy Holidays to you and thank you for the greeting!
Character defects are with me too and I look forward
to working the steps that will help me to be free of
them one day at a time! Looking to myself and working
my own program is a full time job....knowing I have so
many choices in my life is a wonderful feeling because
I know that most things in life can be so rewarding
and fullfilling if I will only see that the choices
are there for me if I'm really willing to
see.....wishing the alcoholic will change is a waste
of my valuable time and energy....it is I that needs
to look to my self for the happiness and serenity that
I desire and love to have....it is all up to me....

enjoy today and tomorrow...it is your choice....
--- Henry <henrym64@...> wrote:
>
>   i'd like to wish everone a Merry Christmas and
> Happy ,Healthy New
> Year  .  I have one little defect of character i'm
> ready for God to
> remove .....saying yes when i want to say no , or
> saying no and
> feeling guilty for it . maybe thats 2 defects
> .....lol
>
> todays reminder from.... One day at a time in
> Al-anon II
> it can be very empowering to take responsability for
> my own choices .
> i will act in my own best interest today .
>
>
> "I would do well to accept the challenge to look to
> my own recovery
> before i spend any more of my precious life wishing
> the alcoholic
> would change... "
>
>    Living with Sobriety
>
>       Peace be with you all
>            Henry
>
>
>


=====
~Florence M.S.H.~

__________________________________
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i'd like to wish everone a Merry Christmas and Happy ,Healthy New
Year  .  I have one little defect of character i'm ready for God to
remove .....saying yes when i want to say no , or saying no and
feeling guilty for it . maybe thats 2 defects .....lol

todays reminder from.... One day at a time in Al-anon II
it can be very empowering to take responsability for my own choices .
i will act in my own best interest today .


"I would do well to accept the challenge to look to my own recovery
before i spend any more of my precious life wishing the alcoholic
would change... "

    Living with Sobriety

       Peace be with you all
            Henry

Happy Holidays to you  too Susie , may God bless you and your family .
Change is only thing that never stops , as the sun is setting somewhere , it is
rising somewhere else .
                  Hugs , Henry


Susie <zuppie_2001@...> wrote:
Happy Holidays Everyone!  Hugs from susie

Todaysgift@... wrote:

Today's thought is:

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.
-- Flora Whittemore

We often hear the phrase, "When one door shuts, another opens." It means
everything has a beginning and an end. When our travels on one path are
completed, another path lies ahead.

It's not easy to feel a door close. Relationships, friendships, careers, and
lives end. Although we may not understand why a door closes, it's important to
remember our Higher Power has everything to do with it. By the same token, we
may not understand why certain doors open, revealing opportunities we may have
longed for. Again, our Higher Power feels we are ready to pursue that new
experience.

The doors that opened and closed today helped prepare us for our experiences
tonight. The doors that open and close tonight will help us grow toward
tomorrow. We are not mice in a maze, randomly pursuing paths for a reward of
cheese. We are children of our Higher Power, guided towards our chosen goal
through the many doors we open and close along the way.

Have I learned there is a reason for everything in my life? Can I trust that my
path has been prepared for me by my Higher Power?



You are reading from the book:




Night Light by Amy E. Dean

Copyright 1986, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the
United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in
any manner without the written permission of the publisher.

**********

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Happy Holidays Everyone!  Hugs from susie

Todaysgift@... wrote:

Today's thought is:

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.
-- Flora Whittemore

We often hear the phrase, "When one door shuts, another opens." It means
everything has a beginning and an end. When our travels on one path are
completed, another path lies ahead.

It's not easy to feel a door close. Relationships, friendships, careers, and
lives end. Although we may not understand why a door closes, it's important to
remember our Higher Power has everything to do with it. By the same token, we
may not understand why certain doors open, revealing opportunities we may have
longed for. Again, our Higher Power feels we are ready to pursue that new
experience.

The doors that opened and closed today helped prepare us for our experiences
tonight. The doors that open and close tonight will help us grow toward
tomorrow. We are not mice in a maze, randomly pursuing paths for a reward of
cheese. We are children of our Higher Power, guided towards our chosen goal
through the many doors we open and close along the way.

Have I learned there is a reason for everything in my life? Can I trust that my
path has been prepared for me by my Higher Power?



You are reading from the book:




Night Light by Amy E. Dean

Copyright 1986, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the
United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in
any manner without the written permission of the publisher.

**********

Today's Gift daily emails are provided by the Hazelden Foundation Web site at
www.hazelden.org and are sent only to those who register.




CONTACT INFORMATION:

Today's Gift feedback - todaysgift@...
Treatment program information - info@...
Bookstore information - customersupport@...
Or call us at 1-800-257-7810



---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
New Yahoo! Photos - easier uploading and sharing

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi Maura..so glad you find the program helpful...it
has helped me so much and I must say it is the best
thing I have ever done for myself! I find that if I
keep going to meetings,reading the literature and
talking to others in the program while working the
steps it helps me to find serenity and keeps me
focused on myself and today...I have a tendency to
think about the past and the future and I know that we
really only have this moment and how it unfolds has
alot to do with my attitude...so hope to see you
around in the meetings and good luck to you...hang in
there and you will know your progress one day at a
time!

florence
--- Luisa p <sirena10332003@...> wrote:
> Hey everyone
>
> It's me maura
>
> Well I had to change my e-mail address. Any ways I
> finally went to an al-anon meeting. you guy where
> right it is great. I met so many people who have
> gone or are going through the same things I am. It
> was nice to see how they have handled the situation.
> Also to give you guys an update my husband and I
> have separated. So we are talking about maybe trying
> it again but I am very skeptical about it. I have to
> admit though that my maternal instincts and
> co-dependency is getting to me. I found myself
> wanted to go back because he needs me. Thank god I
> have been seeing a Psychologist in regards to my
> co-dependency and have to admit that I am learning
> to control it. i have been apart from him now 5
> weeks. he still calls and tries to make me feel
> guilty for not being by his side. But I know that
> right now this is what i need. I am trying to
> concentrate on me. How can I love him and try to
> help him if i cant help myself, not only that I am
> not responsible for him. he is an adult and needs to
>  learn to take care of himself. Well as many may see
> I believe I am evolving to another level of maturity
> and acceptance. I am very proud of myself even
> though I know I can not scream victory yet, that
> will come with time. But at list now I can look at
> myself in the mirror and not feel ashamed. I am
> learning to love myself and to dream.
>
> Well gang that for listening hope to here from you
> guys.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Free Pop-Up Blocker - Get it now
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>


=====
~Florence M.S.H.~

__________________________________
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http://photos.yahoo.com/

Hey everyone

It's me maura

Well I had to change my e-mail address. Any ways I finally went to an al-anon
meeting. you guy where right it is great. I met so many people who have gone or
are going through the same things I am. It was nice to see how they have handled
the situation. Also to give you guys an update my husband and I have separated.
So we are talking about maybe trying it again but I am very skeptical about it.
I have to admit though that my maternal instincts and co-dependency is getting
to me. I found myself wanted to go back because he needs me. Thank god I have
been seeing a Psychologist in regards to my co-dependency and have to admit that
I am learning to control it. i have been apart from him now 5 weeks. he still
calls and tries to make me feel guilty for not being by his side. But I know
that right now this is what i need. I am trying to concentrate on me. How can I
love him and try to help him if i cant help myself, not only that I am not
responsible for him. he is an adult and needs to
  learn to take care of himself. Well as many may see I believe I am evolving to
another level of maturity and acceptance. I am very proud of myself even though
I know I can not scream victory yet, that will come with time. But at list now I
can look at myself in the mirror and not feel ashamed. I am learning to love
myself and to dream.

Well gang that for listening hope to here from you guys.


---------------------------------
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Free Pop-Up Blocker - Get it now

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi All,

I am Dolt, a sex addict and an alcoholic codependant. The SA part is a
whole other story but, a few months back I posted here and got good
advice, I did not heed it. Instead I have been hanging on to a
relationship with a woman half of my 45 years old age.

She is an in denial alcoholic with an ego bigger than life itself.
Where does that ego come from, is that common?

I had her hauled away by the paramedics and that was the beginning of
the end of our relationship. But, I get suckered into her desire to
have company and then she taunts the living bejeezus out of me by
calling new boyfriends in front of me, she is now on her second one
since us. This guy is a 40 year old multi millionaire. She was jobless
with me, and now makes twice the money I do, as she is in the
entertainment field...very quick money! It has all gone to her head.
And she is stunningly pretty...so, she was already on a big trip
before.

I actually got suckered the other night, she was drinking beer when I
was there, I joined in, which I NEVER do. She called the new
millionaire, told him she "missed him" right in front of me, and I
BOILED. She kicked me out as I whined, which she always does, kick me
out I mean. Prior to that she was kissing me and more during her music
dance that she did while staring at herself in the mirror the whole
time.

Angry at being kicked out cuz' he was on the way, and it is his condo,
I scraped everything on her kitchen counter off and onto the floor,
took all her clothes out of the closet and threw em' on the ground,
and slapped her in the face. I have only done that once before, maybe,
but that is enough for a lifetime.

I feel guilty for the slap, and mad for going down to see her, and
ugly inside. she has killed my self esteem. I have been acting out on
the SA side, a lot, and that doesn't help for sure.

Thank you for listening to this and I am sorry to put you through such
an ugly thing that I did. I hope I wasn't too explicit.

Kindest regards...Dolt