From One Day at a Time in Alanon

   Sometimes an over-eager newcomer asks a number of people for advice
about a problem or is forever calling up various members to get their
views on their troubles. For him/her there is one good piece of
advice:  "Get yourself ONE sponsor, and stop confusing yourself by
trying to coordinate too many opinions."
   He/She is trying to get all the answers at once, because they're in
a hurry to put Al-Anon's magic to work.  He/She assumes, of course,
that she will be wise enough to sort out the right answer for
themselves, from the welter of personal opinions, but their whole
approach show that he/she would be incapable of making a wise
decision.  He/She needs to Go Slow, Let Go, Keep It Simple.

Today's Reminder
   Even when an Al-Anon member show a confused or negative approach to
the program, it can be a lesson to me. A single one of The Twelve
Steps, a single Slogan, or the Serenity Prayer, used constantly, can
clear my thinking and help me to solve my problem in the way that is
right for me.

"Let not my thinking become confused by listening to too many
opinions, but let me consider each one individually to see if it can
be of help to me."

********************************************************************
my thoughts..... I love the sayings Let it Go and Keep it Simple...
When I find myself frustrated.....one of these is often the answer.
And the Serenity Prayer can bring such calm upon me when I get
worried about something....
Life is Good!        susie:)

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow; it only saps today of its
strength.
--A. J. Cronin

Many adult children are expert worriers.  No topic is so small that
we can't blow it up into something big.  The merest hint of an ill
wind can trip the hair-trigger mechanism that gets us going.  It
takes years to develop such a reflex.  Originally, we may have
legitimately worried that what we loved would be taken from us or
never be given to us in the first place.

But worry can become a way of life—we may not know how to
live any other way.  In the grips of this delusion, we might assume
that if we don't worry about something, it will happen for sure.  As
if worry had the power to ward off tragedy!  We might as well
wear garlic around our necks to repel evil spirits.

As opposed to cautious realism, chronic worry is indiscriminate
and irrational.  We don't worry about disasters because they're so
likely to happen—we worry because that's what we know how to
do.  Worry doesn't prevent the loss of anything except our own
peace of mind.

I recognize that habitual worry is a learned response from long
ago.  Today I choose serenity.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
from the book:
Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen
Hegarty

From One Day at a Time in Alanon:

   It is said in AA that the alcoholic who concentrates on the study
and application of the Twelve Steps is bound to make good progress in
the program.
   This is just as true for us in Al-Anon. We, too, need to spend some
time each day contemplating the marvelous light with which the Steps
illuminate all our huma problems. Neither alcoholic nor non-alcoholic
limits his aspirations to sobriety alone; that is only the beginning.
The Steps are a guide to total good living. As such, we would deprive
ourselves of a precious boon in not realizing what they can do for
us.

Today's Reminder
   When I read a Step, and think about it deeply,I find it opens the
door to new insights.When I read that same Step again, it again
reveals new spiritual ideas. They seem to dig into our conciousness &
unearth for us the wonderful potential for good in all our
relationships with life.

"If I had only half an hour of quiet time alone each day, I would
devote it to studying the Twelve Steps so they would ultimately
become an integral part of my thinking."
********************************************************************

My thoughts....Well there it is, the importance of the Steps.
Anyone else have a thought on today's meditation?
Have a Great Day Everyone!

Dear Francine,
   Thanks for your reply and also thanks to Bill for his IM
Reply.....which was about the same answer, so I feel good about what
I am doing. But I realized that the meeting I like is a Book Study
meeting and I might also benefit from a Step meeting, so I can finish
working my steps.  Nice to hear from you and thanks again. susie:)

Hi zuppie!!
I think if you feel comfortable with one per week, then it's enough
for you.  I think that each member has a "comfort" zone.  If you
attend too many meetings so that you are not comfortable anymore,
it's too much.  If you tried a 2nd meeting per week, and feel
comfortable, then do it.  The point is, no persons' needs are equal
here.  We all have the same story line, just different stories.
Francine

--- In chicagoalanon@y..., "zuppie_2001" <zuppie_2001@y...> wrote:
>   I am fairly new to Al-Anon am wondering how many F2F meetings one
> should go to per week. I have made a committment to one a week I
feel
> comfortable with. I am just curious as to what some of the members
> who have been in Al-Anon a long time think on this.
> Thanks in advance, susie:)

Hi all,

I haven't posted in a while....sorry about that. My goal is to get to
at least one f2f meeting each week. This past week I made it there
and was glad I did. I still haven't gotten a sponser, but I'm getting
a better idea of who I want to ask.

I want to go back to school. I need to make phone calls and get the
necessary info.

I have no clue why I woke up this hour of the morning, but I figured
I might as well make use of the time. I doubt I'll go back to sleep.

I hope everybody has a good day and will take the time to check in.

Take care,
Cindy

Hi all,
   Well it is almost Sunday and I am ready to Check in!
As you can see I am back in the swing of things here with Alanon,
trying to work the program, trying to recover. I divorced my
alcoholic husband last Monday after 16 years. Why I stayed in such a
relationship for that long is beyond me....but I am glad it is
over..and now know I have much healing to do, from this relationship
and all my other qualifiers. I know I am sick, even though in the
outside world, I appear happy and confident....I have fooled everyone
well, but children of alcoholics learn to hide things early. We are
the best secret keepers in the world. So today I am most grateful for
all the angels in my life who have helped me, and for Alanon. And I
thank you all for being here....and letting me share.
susie:)

From One Day at a Time in Al-Anon:
   The newcomer to Al-Anon is looking for answers to a problem. The
questions often begin with these two words:  "WHAT IF..."  What if we
lose our home? What if he has an accident with the car? What if he
stays out all night, loses his job, gets into fights, goes to jail?
What if...?
   In Al-Anon we call this "projecting" - looking into the future and
trying to imagine what may happen. The future - even as close as
tomorrow - is aa closed book.  We cannot know what it holds, and the
more we look for disaster, the more we invite it. Because the past
has been unhappy is no index that the future will continue to be.
This is something only God knows, and we would do well to trust in
His loving wisdom and root out all our thoughts that "things can't
get better."

Today's Reminder
   It is health to the mind and body to look to the future with
confidence.  Lifting up our hearts is better preparation for
disappointments, if they should come.  Negative anticipating only
increases the impact of unhappy incidents. Let's improve the outlook!

"The thing that I have greatly feared has come upon me..." says the
Bible. I will not give reality to trouble that may never come."
*********************************************************************

   This message is good for me today...I heard of trouble my ex got in
as a result of his drinking....and now I am worried about him and
fearing worse trouble to come....his drinking has escalated lately.
When actually all this is none of my business now anyway. But old
habits are hard to break.  So now I will only hope some good comes to
him as a result of the trouble, and let it go. Let Go and Let God.
And maybe a Serenity Prayer or two here won't hurt either...
Happy Sunday Everyone and that's right....It's Check In Day!!!

I am fairly new to Al-Anon am wondering how many F2F meetings one
should go to per week. I have made a committment to one a week I feel
comfortable with. I am just curious as to what some of the members
who have been in Al-Anon a long time think on this.
Thanks in advance, susie:)

Daily Meditation (from One Day at A Time in Alanon)
   When my body is sick, I take the medicine the doctor
prescribes. When I am soul-sick and heart-sick, I need
medicine just as much or more.  Living with an
alcoholic, and with my own neurotic response to that
situation, I need the spiritual and emotional
curatives that Al-Anon can give me.  In the beginning
I do not realize how much I need it, but when I see
others healed of their despair, I find myself willing
to accept this program.
   People only deprive themselves when they blindly
reject the continuing help of Al-Anon. Even when the
alcoholic has found sobriety, they still need its
spiritual support. They would profit greatly by
"taking the medicine" until they can feel its
beneficial effects.

Today's Reminder
   If ever I found relief from my self-torment in
Al-Anon, if ever I enjoyed moments of wonder at how
much better I felt after being guided into this
spiritual road to recovery, I will not lightly let go
of Al-Anon. We all learn, sooner or later, that it can
be applied to all facets of life, now and always.

   "It is comforting to know that I need never face my
problems without the help of Al-Anon."
*******************************************************

Wow! I loved this meditation!  It is just what I
thought about after my last f2f meeting! Committment
to Alanon and recovery. It is easy to just forget
about our problems and think they go away....but I
finally realized that I want to recover. I want to be
better. And that I needed to make a committment to
Al-Anon. Because that is where the answer is for me.
And how comforting to know, that I am never alone. I
have my Higher Power and my Alanon friends.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!   susie:)


__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
LAUNCH - Your Yahoo! Music Experience
http://launch.yahoo.com

Daily Meditation ~ May 16th
from One Day at a Time In Alanon

   In Al-Anon, we are encouraged to keep in touch with
our fellow members between meetings. When I am
depressed and apprehensive, it's a great help to call
my sponsor or another group friend and talk things
over. But I want to be very clear on what I am looking
for. Do I want comfort and a straightening our of my
thinking?
   Or do I expect advice on a serious personal crisis?
I cannot saddle someone else with the responsibility
fo telling me what to do. No one can make my decisions
for me. That is my responsibility, and if it seems to
heavy for me, I will call upon my higher power for
guidance. I will meditate and pray, and keep my mind
open for the answer.
Today's reminder
   When I feel I must take a radical and irrevocable
step, shouldn't I make sure I am not motivated by
resentment, hatred, anger?  I will remind myself that,
once having taken a radical step, there is no turning
back. Should I not try again, with the help of God and
Al-Anon, to improve my own capacity for dealing with
my problems?
   "Whatever faces me at this time,
    I know that God has given me the
    power to set my world in order."

*****************************************************
Wow, there was allot of stuff to think about in
today's meditation....I got allot of thoughts from
it.....
like I guess that is why they pass around the notebook
at the f2f meetings where everyone writes there phone
number ~ promoting contact.....and also when I am at
some online meetings here people just add me on their
friends list ~ so we can support each other btw the
meetings....And also today's message reminds me to be
searching for a sponsor at the f2f meetings, which I
have just recently gone back to.
When I am stressed out or worried now-days, I remember
to say the Serenity prayer.....it really helps.  And
when faced with problems, I remember to pray for the
Knowledge of His Will, and the Power to carry it out.
So today's meditation had a lot of good stuff for me
in it, and I hope it meant something to you....Feel
free to share:)   susie


__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
LAUNCH - Your Yahoo! Music Experience
http://launch.yahoo.com

Daily Meditation
May 15 - from One Day at a Time in Alanon:

   "The hardest thing for me to learn," said a member
at an Al-Anon meeting, "is to stop imagining that I
can figure out why my husband acts the way he does.
Automatically almost, I jump to conclusions about his
activities and his motives.  I know in my heart that I
can't read his mind, and that anything I attribute to
him is probably all wrong.  Even his worst moments -
the times when I'm exasperated to the point of fury -
may just be his unhappiest.  How can I know? Why do I
judge?
   "Nobody but God understands what goes on inside
another human being. Let's not try to play God - or
even psychiatrist! - to our troubled mates. Let's not
examine them as we would a bug under a microscope. I
always want to remember that every human being must be
respected for his own individuality, no matter how
battered it appears at times."

Today's Reminder
   I will, today and from now on, examine my own role
in all my confusion and despair.  If I do this
honestly, I will come to realize that I am not
blameless, that there is much to be changed in me.

"How can he think the way I think,
Or do just what I'd do?
I will remember, day by day,
My love, that I'm not you."
******************************************************
   The main point I get from today's meditation is to
focus on what I am doing, not what other people are
doing, because that is what I can control.  Also I
think of forgiveness and acceptance of others.
Did you think of anything you would like to share?

In service of Alanon, susie:)

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
LAUNCH - Your Yahoo! Music Experience
http://launch.yahoo.com

Hi Crew :D ,

I'll be out of town this coming Sunday.  The Meeting time is at 5p
central...

PLEASE, I hope someone is able to step up and chair.

I am taking a few days to go home... veg on a relative's couch... and
continue my recovery!

Bless you all and thank you all for being here,

Kathy

is there a meeting? its 737pm chicago time am i late or what?

I'm here, in the CHAT room... COME on in!!!

Dear Kathy,
   I would be glad to help with the posting, just would
need more info on what exactly is to be posted. If you
would like me to help please email me at
zuppie_2001@...   with the info I would need to
get started.
   Yours in service, susie:)

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
LAUNCH - Your Yahoo! Music Experience
http://launch.yahoo.com

SO, TWO things to do tommorrow...hummmmm

Sunday is checking in day...please update us and let us know how you
have been doing life, and how the program is affecting your
ourcomes!


THEN, check out our Sunday Meeting.  It's at 5p Central time, open
discussion.  It is a formal meeting that employs the rules of
courtesy and does have a format that is as close to a face to face
meeting as we can get (without voice and cameras...)


Please come.  We all need each other, because we CAN do together,
what we cannot do alone.

IR,

Kathy

Some time back, I'd put out a request to the group for a person or
persons... to take on a service role of posting either the ODAAT
daily reading or the CTC daily meditation.

No one responded.  This would be a wonderful way to help ourselves
help each other and support our newcomers.  Service work is highly
suggested as a way to maintain our program, I would LOVE to get the
medications daily...AND helps the newcomer even know that such
literature exists (in addition to the wonderful content in each of
these books.)

So, again... any takers?

Obviously, if a person is sick or for some reason, unable to actually
post "every day" this is certainly understandable, however, the
commitment does require time every day to post the meditations.  Just
so you know what you're looking at...time-wise.

(Now may also be a good time to mention that any time I have ever
given in service work has created 10 times the gifts for me, in
return.  It has been a wonderful experience, so far!)

Each Al-Anon Family Group has but one purpose:  to help families of
alcoholics.  We do this by practicing the 12 steps of AA oursleves,
by encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and by
welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcholics.

Tradition Five defines Al-Anon's primary purpose.  Helping families
of alcoholics is the sole reason for Al-Anon's existence.  The
tradition offers 3 guidelines to keep us on track and clear about why
we are here...  practicing our own 12 step program, encouraging and
understanding our alcoholic loved ones and comforting people affected
by another person's alcoholism.


Paraphrased from p. 175 Paths to Recovery.


May these words help you bring the Al-Anon message today...

(And sorry I was so late with it this month.)

IR,
Kathy

Hey Kathy,

Glad to hear it and to know you're back all in one piece. I wish you
a speedy recovery. What you see is what you get, as far as the group
goes. I haven't been able to make any meetings so I have no idea how
it's been going. I've been caught up in my own nonsense here at home.

Take care,
Cindy

Hey Bill and Cindy...
Guess what!  Just thought I'd let you know that the power of prayer
really DOES still work...in case you or anyone else was wondering...
I BS'd my way out of the hospital last Sunday and came home tonight.
I am so glad to be home, in one piece...with my sore little throat,
and all working parts!

I tell ya, this was rougher than I thought it would be, but, I
believe, in the long run--will really help.

Thank you all, for your prayers and thoughts.

Hope you all had a good meeting on Sunday!
Couldn't make tonights due to conflicts w/schedule.

Take care, catch me up on what I've missed :D

Kathy

Alanon has help me get to where iam today.Alanon has help me to
give up my will& let go and let God.If i didnt start thinking of my
needs.I would still be a door mat.Most of all, i would of fell for
every thing my xhusband says.And i would of givin every thing up to
help him.i have two responiblity Me& my 12 y old son.He has a lot of
emotional problems....& W/ my high powers help,iam more understand to
my son now.suportive too.I can in courage him like never before.I
feel in controll of me now.I let the word care for its self.So right
now iam still getting the help i need .This makes me understand how i
should help my son.Thanks for listening God Bless ..Cindy

Hi,

Been thinking about you and haven't seen you online lately. Hope to
hear from you soon.

Take care,
Cindy

Thanks for sharing Cindy. Loving an alcoholic is so hard and it is a
choice. Knowing that helps me to realize that I can change my life
anytime I choose. I used to feel like a victim all the time, helpless
and afraid. I still at times slide back into the victim role but deep
down inside I know I am an adult and I have the power to make choices
that can and will change my life whenever I want. The first step in
all of that is my willingness and honesty with myself to take a hard
look at ME and allow myself to become aware of what is there and what
needs work. When I remind myself that today is the first day of the
rest of MY life it helps me to make better choices. I can sit around
and feel sorry for my lot in life, which I still do way too often or
I can take tiny steps in a different direction. I've learned that I
need to be my own cheerleader. I know what I need to do, for the most
part. Doing it is the hard part. It takes courage and determination.
Your post really touched me. Thanks.

Take care,
Cindy

Hello to all the alanon family.I have been divorced for 4 years now.I
knew i needed to get help around 5 years ago.I couldnt keep telling
my xhusband right from wrong.I was going crasy.So i left him 4 y
ago.He went nuts& turn to durgs & alcohol.His choice at the time.I
went for help.I find alanon:)He is in rehab now ,I live in michigan
he is in Fla.He went back to Fla 6m ago.He told me that he went back
to Fla because he wanted to remember the time we had there.We lived
there for 10 years.He calls to talk to our son he is 12y .I told my
xhus that i had lots of problems too.& i got the help i needed.He
calls to talk to me . I cant hang up,I use the tools of alanon.& i
listen to him.He was drug free for 14y before i left him.To be
honest, some days i blame my self,for my xhus going back to
drugs ,the last 5 years of our divorced.But i relise thats not
true.He cant find happiness in me.& I CANT FIND IT IN HIM.Alanon has
showed me i need to love my self first.& i cant change anyone but my
self.He has a long walk.I did,but it can happen.one day at a time is
so inportant.Thanks God Bless....Cindy

In 1984, through the grace of God and the folks sitting around
the AA tables, I got clean and sober.  Shortly thereafter I began to
work on the one dream I always had (but could never focus on
since I was either high, in the bar, or both)...my first novel.

I finished Cheechako in 1989, but my agent at the time couldn't
find a publisher.  So it sat on my hard drive until just this year.
And now my dream has come to fruition (http://
www.cheechako.net)!  It is now available at Amazon, Barnes and
Noble, Borders and others.

Cheechako is a novel that shares the experience, strength and
hope of the program (while not sugarcoating the challenges we
face in recovery).  It is not for the faint of heart, truly a novel
steeped in horror erotica.  But I believe the insights/messages
for those in recovery (as well as those that are still out there, but
well on their way) are very powerful and compelling.

I invite you to visit the Cheechako web site (www.cheechako.net)
where a few of the chapters are posted.  Hopefully, this will give
you a flavor for the book and perhaps inspire you to share the
title with others.

Appreciate any assistance or referrals you can provide.

Thanks,
Dan

REDMOND, Wash.–May 1, 2002– Cheechako (Native Alaskan
for "alien" or "foreigner") is a novel that forces our eyes open to
the real price we pay for our human addictions—whether it is our
submission to the lash of the dominatrix or to the pious light that
filters through stained glass windows.   It is a saga that will truly
resonate with those in recovery, as well as those that haven't
quite gotten there yet.

P.S. Soon to be seen in the Wall Street Journal!

Hello,

This email message is a notification to let you know that
a file has been uploaded to the Files area of the chicagoalanon
group.

   File        : /Cheechako Sample Chapters
   Uploaded by : AmazonDan <amazondan@...>
   Description : New horror erotica novel for those in recovery: Cheechako

You can access this file at the URL

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/chicagoalanon/files/Cheechako%20Sample%20Chapters

To learn more about file sharing for your group, please visit

http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/files

Regards,

AmazonDan <amazondan@...>

KATHY , YOULL DO JUST FINE. KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE MY LOVE AND
FRIENDSHIP WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED?  BUT I WILL STILL PRAY FOR YOU,
JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE. YELL AT ME LATER . LOVE BILL

Good luck Kathy. You are in my prayers. I hope you have the best
result possible.

I have no idea how to do what needs to be done to chair the formatted
meeting or I would do it. If others have that know-how and the time
available, please step up to the plate while Kathy is indisposed. She
got a great thing going and it would be too bad to let it slip till
she gets back online.

I've been dealing with a lot of illness here at home and haven't been
able to make any of the meetings. Besides that, my youngest son got
himself into big trouble with the law. I've been going nuts here
doing or trying to do all that goes along with all of that. I hope
you all are doing fine and hope to see many at the meetings.

I miss hearing from you all. Please post and keep this group going.

Take care,
Cindy

PS If we all pray for Kathy with her surgery, I know it will mean a
lot to her. Thanks!

Hi All... As some of you know, I am headed into the hospital on
Friday morning for surgery.  I don't know when I'll be released nor
do I know when I'll be able to resume my commitment to chair the
formal Sunday meeting.  I posted the meeting format a while back, and
am hoping that you have copied it into a word document, that can be
cut and pasted into the chat room.  Again, my HOPE it that someone
will take on the role and chair this great meeting!  IT is so fun,
and seems to be helpful to us all.  You'll have to let me know now it
goes...  I will be back on line...I'm hopin! sometim w/in the week.
Take care, and thank you all for being here.

IR, Kathy