For me to choose a sponsor, I went to meetings and listened to what
everybody said. I chose the one that I felt knew what it took to quit being an
enabler, and could help me get my life and mind back on the right track. I
didn't
choose a sponsor for about a month, yet I did go to different meetings daily,
to find the one I felt most comfortable with.
I read my One Day At A Time book daily, and say the Serenity Prayer to get
me through the day. A good sponsor will practice "tough love". They'll give
you the tools, but they'll make you do the leg work. The elevator was always
the easy out, but the 12 Steps are healthier.
Everybody in meetings started at the beginning, and will accept you, and
love you unconditonally.

As for his choices when you better yourself? You have no control over that.
You do however, have a choice to control your own life, or still allow it to
be controlled by him.
My experience has been that an alcoholic NOT trying to better themselves,
will feel threatened when we try to better ourselves. They want us to stay as
sick as they are, because they've grown accustomed to US being sick. When we
try to better ourselves, the active alcoholic will go to any length to keep us
down with them. Heaven forbid should we take them out of their comfort zone.

Boundaries must be set and adhered to. We HAVE a right to stand up for
ourselves, in a non-confrontational way. Alanon has given me the tools to do
that.

My Higher Power gets me through anything, if I allow myself to rely on him
by letting go, and letting him.





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