Hi, I am also brand new, and am in a similar situation with my husband. I didn't
know that Al-Anon members needed a sponsor too; could you let me know if you
gets answers about it?
 
Thanks

--- On Thu, 1/22/09, hawk lame <hawk00072@...> wrote:

From: hawk lame <hawk00072@...>
Subject: [chicago alanon] Newbie here with a ton of questions
To: chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thursday, January 22, 2009, 10:21 AM







hi
I just joined this group and thought I'd just jump right in and start asking
questions. First, I am hearing that I need a sponser, so how do i go about that?

And second, I am joining this group because my husband is an alcoholic and I
know now that I am just as sick as he is. Maybe even sicker as he at least knows
what his problem is, I really don't understand how come I've let it take me down
so far with him. I'm just realizing that I can't change who he is or what he is
doing to himself, but I can change how it affects me. I'm tired of being so
needy of him and his time and wishing for things that just aren't going to
happen. I have been living with the fantasy that I am his first love, and now I
know that isn't true. I come second, I always have, and more than likely it's
always going to be that way, especially if I don't start realizing that I am the
only one who can stop this cycle.
I guess that's the first step right? Admitting that I am powerless? I do admit
that, I know that for sure, so what is next, how do I go on from here and still
retain my self-respect? I understand that I have to have boundaries, but how do
I stick with them? I find myself moving the boundaries back further and further
at times, and I know I can't win this war if I do that. I'm just so scared that
if I finally draw the line and stick by it, then he will be forced to choose. I
dont' think I will like what his choice will be. I know with me ulitimatums make
me run the other way, so why would he be different, especially since the devil
seems to have him in his grip so completely.
I dont know how to get the courage to face this change that I know is coming. I
want to just stick my head in the ground and let it all flow past me,
unfortunately, I know I can't do that anymore.

So, any feedback would be nice and thanks for listening. Hawk

EMAILING FOR THE GREATER GOODJoin me

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