hi
I just joined this group and thought I'd just jump right in and start asking
questions. First, I am hearing that I need a sponser, so how do i go about
that?

And second, I am joining this group because my husband is an alcoholic and I
know now that I am just as sick as he is. Maybe even sicker as he at least
knows what his problem is, I really don't understand how come I've let it take
me down so far with him. I'm just realizing that I can't change who he is or
what he is doing to himself, but I can change how it affects me. I'm tired of
being so needy of him and his time and wishing for things that just aren't going
to happen. I have been living with the fantasy that I am his first love, and
now I know that isn't true. I come second, I always have, and more than likely
it's always going to be that way, especially if I don't start realizing that I
am the only one who can stop this cycle.
I guess that's the first step right? Admitting that I am powerless? I do
admit that, I know that for sure, so what is next, how do I go on from here and
still retain my self-respect? I understand that I have to have boundaries, but
how do I stick with them? I find myself moving the boundaries back further and
further at times, and I know I can't win this war if I do that. I'm just so
scared that if I finally draw the line and stick by it, then he will be forced
to choose. I dont' think I will like what his choice will be. I know with me
ulitimatums make me run the other way, so why would he be different, especially
since the devil seems to have him in his grip so completely.
I dont know how to get the courage to face this change that I know is coming. I
want to just stick my head in the ground and let it all flow past me,
unfortunately, I know I can't do that anymore.

So, any feedback would be nice and thanks for listening. Hawk



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