I also stay because of the kids but there is a fine line between the love you
have for an addict/alcoholic and the love you should have for your children. 
Adults are capable of making choices whether right or wrong.  Children rely on
their parents to make sound, stable choices for their lives.  If that means
letting go of a strong love for a spouse to better the lives of your children
you are obligated to them first.  The husband can chose to get the help he needs
to get his family back or not.  If not, then that love is only one-sided;
especially if he cheats as well.  Why would you continue to love someone that
doesn't love you the way God intended for love to be?  I'm sure he loves that
you are a good mother, caretaker, etc but he has to love you for being a strong
person and that means standing up for what you believe in.  It took me many,
many years to figure this out and I still haven't completely mastered this
advice but I know that my
kids need to come first. 

--- On Sat, 8/9/08, dmhcmoon <dmhcmoon@...> wrote:

From: dmhcmoon <dmhcmoon@...>
Subject: [chicago alanon] Re: I think he is an alcoholic.
To: chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com
Date: Saturday, August 9, 2008, 3:54 PM






I'm in a similar situation, but in addition he cheats on me. Staying mostly for
my kids
because I think they need a dad, but curious about the advice others give you.
--- In chicagoalanon@ yahoogroups. com, "Amy E." <elinofa@... > wrote:
>
> I hear what you guys are saying. It had not occurred to me that the
> other driver was enabling. Of course.
>
> However, as far as living in chaos, tell me this: what happens when
> you are in love with that human being? I haven't figured out yet how
> not to be with him and be involved in caring for him, even if it is
> sometimes against his will...
>
>
> --- In chicagoalanon@ yahoogroups. com, Rhen56@ wrote:
> >
> > An alcoholic will go to any lengths to get that drink. I will go to
> any
> > lengths to use the tools given me through Alanon, to keep my life
> and mind in
> > order.
> > Your husband has a child too, and it doesn't keep him from going to
> bars.
> > Check with your Al-Anon meetings to see if they offer child care,
> and if they
> > don't, maybe you could suggest a way to get child care started, or
> ask a
> > neighbor to watch your child for a couple of hours.
> > You made the choice to come back into that environment, knowing he
> was an
> > active alkie. We choose to live in chaos, or we choose to walk away
> from it, and
> > only you can decide which life you want. We're a victim once, and
> if we
> > choose to stay, we've become volunteers.
> >
> >
> > Rhenda
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ************ **Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your
> budget?
> > Read reviews on AOL Autos.
> >
> (http://autos. aol.com/cars- BMW-128-2008/ expert-review? ncid=aolaut00050
000000017
> )
> >
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>


















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