I wonder if that woman may have had a few drinks herself , or may have been
driving with no license , she sure did not do him a favor, she helped enable
him  ..the next fender bender may take the life of an innocent child .
        Until he figures out that Drinking is not a good thing to do , he will
not change or seek   recovery,  because to him alcohol is not a problem .  
 You leaving and coming back is just a game to him , he knows you are coming
back .
   Say what you mean , and mean what you say .
                        best of luck to you .
                             Henry
              
  

--- On Fri, 8/8/08, Amy Elinoff <elinofa@...> wrote:
From: Amy Elinoff <elinofa@...>
Subject: [chicago alanon] I think he is an alcoholic.
To: chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, August 8, 2008, 4:13 PM











New here. My husband and I have been together for 15 years. We met

in a drinking type of scene. He worked in a bar. He seems to be

enamored of the wild man archetype - now we have a two year old. He

went out when I was pregnant. He has gone out on occasion now that

she is here. I have left overnight with her twice. Like an earlier

poster, he can hold his drinks. Sometimes quits altogether, loses a

ton of weight, seems stable and content, then picks it back up slowly,

until he is drinking 4 beers most nights and many before 6 pm. He is

still fond of the bar scene though he owns a business now. Last week

he got into a fender bender after having had several beers. The woman

got out of her car and could smell the beer on him. She was in

recovery herself and generously did not call the police. She

suggested he go to a meeting.



I was horrified but happy. I thought, that woman was an angel, this

is it, surely now he will take notice. My daughter and I went out of

town for four days and when we returned there was a keg in the

refrigerator. a keg.



In addition, I have caught him in several small meaningless lies

lately. Then last night, he bought me an expensive piece of jewelry

on credit, that we cannot afford and that cannot be returned. I feel

he is bribing me for something, but not clear what. I am very

unhappy. I want to insist on change, but realize that is not how the

system works. I have to protect myself and my child. How long until

the next fender bender? How long to be deep in debt while he spends

money on credit cards on the bar and guilt-gifts? I would like to go

to AlAnon here in town but can't take a two year old, I assume. Also,

I am afraid of his anger if I go.



Thank you for having me here.





























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