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I need some guidence..   Message List  
Reply | Forward Message #3442 of 3524 |
Re: [chicago alanon] I need some guidence..

--- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, Rhen56@... wrote:
>
> Your question to your alcoholic was and I quote....." You're going
to 3
> meetings today, and not spending time with me" ?
>
> Sorry if I misread that. I read that as if he were ignoring your time
> together, instead of working on him. I've been in Al-Anon for 23
years, and I've
> learned that my alcoholic has his own issues, and I have my own. I
do NOT try to
> block his recovery, and he doesn't try to block mine. I've also
learned NOT
> to plan time together, that it'll happen in it's own time.
Spontaneity seems
> to work much better for us.
>
> Sorry if you thought I was discounting your feelings, and your
statement. I
> have learned in Al-Anon that I won't always like what I hear, but I
don't feel
> that if my recovery were cushioned, I'd have learned anything!
>
>
>
> **************Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch "Cooking
with
> Tyler Florence" on AOL Food.
> (http://food.aol.com/tyler-florence?video=4?&NCID=aolfod00030000000002)
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
I need advice from you. I was with a recovering alcoholic for 7 years
20 years ago. we split up, he cheated on me and I have done a lot of
healing and so has he. He called me last year and we started seeing
each other again. We got closer and then he lied to me and I got upset
and he got really angry and has been angry ever since, this was 3
weeks ago. I have gotten my inner peace back at times but I am getting
mixed messages. come here go away. I am ready to walk and yet it makes
me sad. Help me.




Sat Jun 7, 2008 5:43 pm

elainc
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Message #3442 of 3524 |
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Ok.. I am about to spill my guts here so please be brutally honest with me. I need it. Yesterday all hell broke loose and I am left wondering if I can do this...
Amanda
amandajg24
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Jun 5, 2008
8:17 pm

First, take a breath.  It sounds like the situation is much more complicated than it sounds.  I understand your pain and confusion.  Unfortunately, addicts...
erika brechbill
animal.erika
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Jun 6, 2008
12:38 am

I think this was the hardest thing for me to accept.  He was in rehab for 3 months, so when he got out I expected to be able to spend some time with...
cheryl coats
cheryl_cts
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Jun 6, 2008
1:57 am

I have a question for you. Which is more important to you, his sobriety, or your romantic evenings? He's doing what it takes for HIM to say sober, and you have...
Rhen56@...
rhent4free2
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Jun 6, 2008
7:18 pm

Yesterday was a better day. One day at a time right Erika? We talked like adults about what I felt, what he felt, and what we both needed. I guess what I...
Amanda Jabben
amandajg24
Offline Send Email
Jun 6, 2008
8:35 pm

Your question to your alcoholic was and I quote....." You're going to 3 meetings today, and not spending time with me" ? Sorry if I misread that. I read that...
Rhen56@...
rhent4free2
Offline Send Email
Jun 6, 2008
11:41 pm

... to 3 ... years, and I've ... do NOT try to ... learned NOT ... Spontaneity seems ... statement. I ... don't feel ... with ... I need advice from you. I was...
elainc
Offline Send Email
Jun 7, 2008
5:43 pm

Don't try doing the same thing over again and expect different results. I know this is difficult, been there got the t-shirt. Trust isn't handed on a silver...
Rhen56@...
rhent4free2
Offline Send Email
Jun 7, 2008
10:34 pm

... results. I ... handed on a ... control ... pisses me ... that question ... feeling Thank you for your response. As painful as it is you are so right. I ...
elainc
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Jun 10, 2008
1:03 am

Elaine, One more thing if I may. The only person we have to please is ourselves. **************Vote for your city's best dining and nightlife. City's Best ...
Rhen56@...
rhent4free2
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Jun 10, 2008
7:14 pm

... ourselves. ... so thatn my kids.. you are so kind I have lost my center and become obsessed again. I wait for phone calls email I am so lost and confused.....
elainc
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Jun 11, 2008
12:59 am

Yes, set your foot down. Tell him what you will NOT accept. He probably won't like it, but that's his choice. We don't have to be doormats, and we deserve much...
Rhen56@...
rhent4free2
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Jun 11, 2008
3:53 pm

... really nice day. I dont know how to attend the meetings online but I am trying and you are soo right. I just came back and I dont have a sponsor but you...
elainc
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Jun 12, 2008
1:41 am

Breathing is a good thing. Glad you're doing better. Stay in the moment, and don't let this get the best of you. **************Vote for your city's best...
Rhen56@...
rhent4free2
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Jun 12, 2008
3:25 pm

... moment, and ... Best...
elainc
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Jun 13, 2008
1:25 am
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