Amber,
Hope you had a happy new year! I think my holiday season went very well this
year; usually it is the worst part of the year for my family. About your
questions; Yes I have had addiction problems as a result of being around
someone who is an addict/alcoholic. I have only just realized that with this
relationship. We have been together the longest of any relationship I have ever
been in and I only have the problem when he presents the thing to me that is
addicting. I don't go looking for it on my own and never would. I guess he has
a big control over me that I never thought would ever be.... I have always
thought I was a very strong-willed person but love can change that. I have been
trying to break the patterns though and he says he is going to stop using and
drinking in 2008 but only time will tell. We had a good 1st day yesterday and
all I can do is hope it gets better each day. They say you have to change your
people, places and things but how do you do that
if the person you love is the only thing that needs to be changed? It isn't an
option for me right now with a 16 year old doing well in school and a two year
old and I won't upset their lives right now as long as things are tolerable at
home for them. Let me know if you want to talk again. I can give you my number
but don't want to send it on this email because it goes to a server that sends
to anyone on this link.

Michelle


Amber Fasching <ambafasch@...> wrote:
Michelle,

I wanted to thank you so much for responding to my
post. It has really helped me cope with the situation
and I now know that there are others just like me that
are dealilng with this.

I am sorry to hear about your situation but it sounds
like are making some progress with your relationships
and I'm happy for you.

I do have a questions for you. Have you ever felt or
worried that you may become an addict too? I don't
drink often but when I do...lately....I drink so much
that I black out and don't remember what I have done.
At the time, of course, I fell like I have contorl and
yes I know I'm tipsy, but I don't feel that I'm
completly smashed. And its not until the next day or
two that people tell what I did or said that really
scares me. Like I said...I don't drink often...maybe
once a month....but I have that fear that I will be
come like my father.

As for relationships go.....it really hit home when my
sister made a comment at christmas. I mentioned
something about my ex (which has been my only real
love) and my sister said that we were the love of each
other's lives but yet we ruined each other's lives by
breaking up. Obviously there's a lot more to that
story...but it really made me think about getting into
another relationship.

I hope you are doing well and have a Happy New Year,
Amber
--- Michelle Denton <mdenton777@...> wrote:

> Hi Amber! I am not from Chicago but signed up
> online. I had an alcoholic grandfather and my
> mother was an addict. I have ended up in many
> relationships with men with addiction problems and
> also have problems with friendships. I have learned
> been to al-anon a few times in my local area and it
> has really helped me. I am starting to have more
> meaningful relationships with friends and learning
> that I can't change or do anything about my husband
> who is an alcoholic and an addict. I just try to be
> happy despite his miserable existence and not let it
> interfere with how I am feeling day to day. If you
> ever need someone to talk to feel free to email me.
> Hope you have a blessed holiday season and that
> things get better for you.
>
> Michelle
>
> Amber Fasching <ambafasch@...> wrote:
> I wanted to introduce myself to the group.
> My dad is the acholoic in
> my family. He has been ever since I can remember.
> Growing up with
> him was very diffucult. I went 3 years with out
> talking to him and
> we lived in the same house. When he came home I
> would leave and go
> to my room. Now after college and moving away we
> seem to have a
> better reltionship. But I think its only becuase we
> see each other
> so little. I can still see him treat my younger
> brother who still
> lives with him the way he used to treat me and my
> other siblings.
>
> Right now I'm struggling with relationships. My
> friends I can take
> or leave. Which I think is very sad. But everything
> is superficial
> to me. I don't rely on them, I don't trust them, and
> if we were to
> never talk to each other again......I would be ok
> with that. It's
> the same with men. I tend to shy away from
> relationships. If I
> start to date someone.....I think the worst and end
> it before
> anything even happens.
>
> I have seen my mom stand by my dad all these years.
> Even to this
> day, when my dad is drunk...its like they can't
> stand to be in the
> same room. My dad is a completly different person
> when he's
> sober.....and I wish he could always be that way.
>
> I guess I have just built up this wall and want to
> break it down. I
> have always thought about going to a group
> meeting....but with my
> work schedule I thought this would work better.
>
> I'm just looking for support, advice, guidance,
> experience, and
> knowledge. I want to get over my fears and
> anxieties. I want to be
> able to have a real relationship with anyone and not
> have doubts.
>
> Amber
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>

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