My husband and I have been married for 11 years and together for 19. We have
two
young children and another on the way. I found out three months ago that he was
having
an affair and since then we have been in couples therapy and him in individual
therapy to
try to figure out what went wrong. Up until that point he had seemed to be the
ideal
husband and very loving.

He has always drank "some" (usually just 2 drinks a night on most nights), but I
have been
noticing over the years his drinking gradually increasing to around 3 or 4
drinks a night--
and every single night. In addition, whenever he goes out with friends he tends
to get
drunk. Though when he drinks he seems to be able to hold his liquor and does
not act
like a sloppy drunk. In fact, he can function very well on 3-4 drinks so that
you would
hardly notice he had been drinking if you weren't counting. I can't tell if the
drinking is
contributing to our marital strife or not. I have asked him to stop, but he
gets defensive
and acts annoyed when I bring it up. When I bring it up in couples counseling,
the
counselor blows it off and acts like I am hassling my husband and not allowing
him to be
"free" in our relationship, which he believes led to the affair. I am trying to
decide if I
should stand my ground and make him give up drinking, or just let this go and
concentrate on our other marital issues. Any advice from anyone as to how to
determine if
someone is an alcoholic?