Congrats, and glad it was helpful. Definitley, their loss, :)
P


>From: Wendy Fabrizi <wendyfabrizi@...>
>Reply-To: chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com
>To: <chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com>
>Subject: RE: [chicago alanon] Just needed somebody to listen
>Date: Sun, 22 Jul 2007 19:22:13 -0400
>
>Thanks Pam: That has helped me alot. I finally decided to tell my son
>today and he took it pretty good. I told him that his Dad's side of the
>family was missing out on getting to know a fantastic person and that
>was their problem not ours. Thanks for the E-Mail it helped me phrase
>what I had to say better.
>Anyway God be with you.
>
>Wendy
>
>
>To: chicagoalanon@...: pdisponett@...: Sun, 22
>Jul 2007 13:28:14 +0000Subject: RE: [chicago alanon] Just needed somebody
>to listen
>
>
>
>
>Hi Wendy, all,Well, I shy from direct advice, due to the nature of the
>format here. I can share on some similarities and very much, take what you
>want leave the rest.I think it comes down to we can't control what others
>do, and that others do what they do out of what's going on with them, not
>necessarily anything to do with "me". I know I've had conversations with my
>step-daughter, neice and others where that was the theme, that their parent
>or another relative had done/said something that was hurtful/neglectful. My
>focus has always been to reassure them of their worth, try not to badmouth
>the other person, and explain that others do what they do for reasons that
>don't necessarily have anything to do with me or the person I was talking
>with. One thing I learned is that all I can do is my part, others either do
>or don't do theirs. If they do, we can have a relationship, if not, well,
>it's just not possible and all I can do is be realistic about what is
>reasonable to ask/expect from others, given who they are.Hope this is
>helpful and all the best,Pam>From: "Wendy"
><wendyfabrizi@...>>Reply-To: chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com>To:
>chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com>Subject: [chicago alanon] Just needed
>somebody to listen>Date: Sat, 21 Jul 2007 23:41:29 -0000>>Hi there: I
>haven't been online for a long time but right now I need>somebody to
>listen. I don't know if anybody is out there but this>feels right. How do
>you tell a 11 year old that his Dad's family>doesn't want anything to do
>with him because of his Dad. My son>asked me today why he doesn't see his
>Dad's side of the family but>sees my side alot. My ex and I have been
>seperated 2 years now and>my ex is an alcholic. I didn't know exactly what
>to tell him so I>made a phone call to his uncle and left a message. Then I
>called his>cousin and left a message as well. I know the reason why his
>Dad's>side of the family doesn't want anything to do with us but how do
>you>tell him the reason. His Dad has made some big mistakes in his life>and
>his family hold that against him. When my ex threatened to kill>me and I
>reported this to the police his family kind of disowned me.>I have E-Mailed
>my ex's nephew and tried to get in touch with other>members but they just
>don't want to get in touch with me. My son>really wants to know his uncle
>and cousins but I don't know exactly>what to tell him. I think it is sad
>that my ex's side of the family>doesn't want to have contact with my son. I
>can understand why they>don't want to have contact with me because I caused
>some problem with>the family. It wasn't my ex's fault but mine. I wish I
>know how>some people think. Anyway if anybody can help me with how to tell
>my>son why his relatives have written us off please let me know. I know>it
>is their loss because they will never know how fantastic my son is.>>Anyway
>that's all for
>now.>>Wendy>__________________________________________________________http://li\
veearth.msn.com
>
>
>
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>

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