I have experienced somewhat the same from my ex's family. It is
emotionally defensive on their part, often easier to hold accountable
an "outsider" than family, especially a family that knows the pain of
addiction and the shameful secrets it often produces.

Please do NOT use their view of you as a mirror. You were well within
your rights to report harm done you to protect yourself and your
child.


--- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, "Wendy" <wendyfabrizi@...>
wrote:
>
> Hi there: I haven't been online for a long time but right now I
need
> somebody to listen. I don't know if anybody is out there but this
> feels right. How do you tell a 11 year old that his Dad's family
> doesn't want anything to do with him because of his Dad. My son
> asked me today why he doesn't see his Dad's side of the family but
> sees my side alot. My ex and I have been seperated 2 years now and
> my ex is an alcholic. I didn't know exactly what to tell him so I
> made a phone call to his uncle and left a message. Then I called
his
> cousin and left a message as well. I know the reason why his Dad's
> side of the family doesn't want anything to do with us but how do
you
> tell him the reason. His Dad has made some big mistakes in his
life
> and his family hold that against him. When my ex threatened to
kill
> me and I reported this to the police his family kind of disowned
me.
> I have E-Mailed my ex's nephew and tried to get in touch with other
> members but they just don't want to get in touch with me. My son
> really wants to know his uncle and cousins but I don't know exactly
> what to tell him. I think it is sad that my ex's side of the
family
> doesn't want to have contact with my son. I can understand why
they
> don't want to have contact with me because I caused some problem
with
> the family. It wasn't my ex's fault but mine. I wish I know how
> some people think. Anyway if anybody can help me with how to tell
my
> son why his relatives have written us off please let me know. I
know
> it is their loss because they will never know how fantastic my son
is.
>
> Anyway that's all for now.
>
> Wendy
>