hello, i am sorry to hear of your trouble, and also yes, we all do understand
the drill. i cant advise you at all about the children, i am still fighting my
own demons about raising two kids with an alc. both are adult alc.s now. the
demon grows as i am raising a six year old with the second alc. i married. as
far as enabling goes, praise God, i am able to finally say I am free [ most of
the time] from that. i refuse to remove or help remove any of the effects their
drinking has on them, our home, or work situations. i do what i can to correct
my wrongs, not theirs. that is up to them. The biggest part of my recovery has
to do with what you said, that here WE are heading down that same path of
destruction. everyday i remind myself that is his path not mine. i will not let
his illness lead me down any path. my path shall be paved by my God , and no
one else. i was also scared about meetings face to face. I think they are my
life line now. one thing that i realized
when i found a good group, [ you may have to try a few til you find the one
that is right for you] is the fears i had of anyone thinking i am an idiot or an
enabler , or weak, went away the first 5 minutes i was their. i found that i
was no better or worse, richer or poorer, no smarter or ignorant. it was anxiety
that allowed me to continue to enable. if i dont do this, this bill wont get
paid, or if i dont make this excuse for him, people will look at our family in a
bad way, etc... i stopped using the words us and we and realized i did not have
to physically seperate myself from the alc, to be able to seperate from the
tornato booze created for all of us. Their is great power in admitting
powerlessness. and much strength in admitting weakness pray for the courage to
attend a meeting. you are SOOO not alone. i will be praying for you. stacey

diedrajm <diedrajm@...> wrote: Greetings all,

I am married to an alc. and have three wonderful children. A few
years back things had got really bad (after 12 years of trying to
deal with it) so I packed up my kids and left. My hubby went to
rehab (a 2 week prog) and got out and was doing good at first. But
I guess that is normal. We were separated for 1 year and he was
doing well (so I thought) and we slowly started to see each other
and let him visit the kids. We got back to together and here we are
four years later...heading down the same path to distruction. He
refuses to go to a meeting, is still in denial, thinks he can
moderate...etc. I am sure you all know the drill.

My questions stems from reading someone else's post about being an
enabler. I fear that is what I am doing and what should I do to stop
it. I have never been to a face to face meeting and frankly am
scared to death (don't know why though). Well any tips or words of
encouragement would be appreciated, especially in regard to my
children. I do so worry about them following in his footsteps.

Diedrajm






IN GOD WE TRUST


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