Hi. Good to hear from you. I just joined this group, and didn't go back to read
your posts, but I hope I can share some experience with you that will help YOU
find the answers to your questions.

First, Al-Anon is not about religion or church. It is about spirituality and
God. Nobody will tell you how to believe; it is enough that you believe how you
believe; or even that you are merely WILLING to believe. You can make a
wonderful beginning just by being willing to believe.

Step One is about truly identifying the problem. Once we find out what the
problem is, then we can look for an answer, and Step Two tells us that there is
a spiritual solution.

Remember, the Second Step says: "Came to believe that a Power greater than
ourselves could restore us to sanity." You don't have to start out believing;
it's enough to first come. You came to some meetings, you found some literature
and you found this site. If you are willing and keep working at it, you will
come to. You will begin to awaken from the darkness that this Family Disease of
alcoholism brought you to, and step into the Sunlight of the Spirit.

Finally, we came to believe. I couldn't step out into the faith you talked about
without some preparation first. I could begin with a belief that there was a
Power greater than myself. That was all I had to do to get started; or, as my
sponsor told me, "There is a God, and his name isn't Dennis." Once I began with
belief, I had to take some action based on that belief. When I took action, I
got results. When I saw the results, and that they happened again and again,
then I developed faith that the Power was working in my life. I couldn't begin
with faith; I began with belief and worked my way to faith.

And I, too, don't understand the God of MY understanding. If my God was small
enough to be understood by me, he would be too small to be God. I've worked
with guys I sponsored who had trouble believing in God, or a Higher Power. I've
taken a sheet of paper and folded it in half. I told them that they couldn't
create God, but to write on one side of the sheet their present conception of
God, and to write on the other side what they would make God to be if they could
make God. My God is all-powerful, loving, forgiving, never judgmental or
critical--He's not out to get me or punish me, He's always there for me. He is
all-knowing--He forgives me for my mistakes, and He loves me WHILE I'm making
them. There's a lot more I could add, but I could never add all of what MY God
is for me; not only is he too big for me to put down in words, He is always
getting bigger in my life. When they get done writing, I cut off the piece of
the paper with what their present concept is of God, wad it up
and throw it away. I hand them the other piece of paper and say, "Meet your new
Higher Power; now pray to this."

Remember, too, God couldn't restore us to sanity if we weren't already insane.
You can't be repaired from something that isn't broken, any more than you can
come back from someplace you've never been. Sanity is not about being crazy;
sanity just means soundness of mind. When I was living in the First Step, no one
with a sound mind would do the things I was doing. Now that God, through the
Steps, HAS restored me to soundness of mind, I'm making a lot better choices in
ALL areas of my life.

I don't know who you are or where you live, but I would suggest you get to some
meetings regularly, and find a sponsor who will work with you just the way I've
done tonight. There are millions of friends in this fellowship who love you and
want to help you get better, even though they've never met you yet.

Finally, I'm going to share with you how MY God works in my life. I've been
going through some serious personal problems in the last couple of weeks, and
have been rather down about it. When life is treating me like this, the best way
I've found to get out of myself is to work with another Al-Anon. So, when I was
feeling low this afternoon, a guy I sponsor called about 1 p.m. He was having a
fight with his wife, who he thought was drinking and using drugs. He had gotten
away from the house, so I told him to come over to my house. We talked till 4:45
p.m., then he went home for a while before our home group's 6 p.m. meeting.
Before the meeting, I talked to a friend out of the program who was having some
problems. Then I went to the meeting; after wards, at the "meeting after the
meeting," I talked to the guy I sponsor and another guy I used to sponsor and
those guys in their sharing gave me some of the answers I need in my own life as
we talked about my sponsoree's problems. Then I
came home and ate dinner and turned on the computer to find your note. God then
allowed me to share with you. My day may have been busy, but my God's day was
even more full taking care of me.

Find a meeting that works into your schedule; remember, you weren't too busy to
worry about your son so you can use that time to find some help for yourself.
God bless you and yours; I will say a prayer for you.






rastewart50 <rastewart50@...> wrote:
Hello all--I've been reading some of the Al-Anon literature since, I guess, last
winter, and have attended a few meetings; my wife has been much more active
attending. It's difficult for us both to be out at the same time, and we both
feel she needs the meetings more. So I'm trying to do as much as I can in
reading the daily meditations, studying the steps, and occasionally dropping in
here.

It was not a big problem for me to admit that I was powerless over our son's
drinking and that my life was out of control. It would have been hard to deny
that. But it seems as if I'm stuck there. I always thought of myself as a
religious or spiritual person, even if I wasn't much of a churchgoer, but
struggling with the second and third steps has made me realize just how shallow
and useless my so-called "faith" was. It's not that I don't believe ar some
level in a higher power--but how do I make that leap to believing that that
power can restore me to sanity? Is it possible to move forward if I don't have
any confidence that God (and I have to admit now I'm not even sure of how I
understand him) would want to help me or would be able to?




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Yours in love and service,

Dennis T.
Slidell, LA

When I focus on what's good today, I have a good day, and when I focus on what's
bad, I have a bad day. If I focus on the problem, the problem increases; if I
focus on the answer, the answer increases.



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