Reaching out for help and saying that I am in trouble is very hard
for me. I was in a 20 year marriage that ended in divorce 2 years
ago. He was and still is an Alcoholic. I have since been involved
in a relationship with a recovering alcoholic who has been trying on
and off for a year to quit smoking. Change seems to be the hardest
for me. Everything in our relationship was so wonderful and great
and I enjoyed so much how everything was...but it has changed and I
find myself once again out of control, feeling like I am loosing my
trust for her (which I have no reason to distrust her). Well last
night she picked up cigarettes after two months of a quit and it was
not pretty. I seem to know just how to push those buttons that
bring out the worse in me and the other person.

I realize that I have become quite good at not looking at my side of
the fence but concentrating and becoming obsessed with how another
person is living. I'm not sure this makes sense but I have started
to attend alon meetings and I do want to become a better person and
find some serenity and peace in my life. Thank you for listening to
me and I look forward to the chat meetings.

Michelle