Hi Maura ,
Alanon is the place for you .....maybe this is not the right advice , but if
you fear this man will harm you , you should not be with him . addicts will
destroy anything that keeps them from Alcohol or drugs . he will only get worse
, untill he seeks treatment or it kills him . you can't force a drunk to sober
up , he has to want to get help. he has to hit bottom for that to happen .
we have all seen the lies that Alcoholics and addicts live . we become part of
the lies , by covering for them . I wish i had better advice for you , i put up
with an alcoholic for 17 years before i gave up . i lost everything i worked for
, partly my fault for trusting a liar . i moved back with my mom and i'm
gettin my life back in order .
remember ....change the things you can , accept the things you can't .
it's his addiction .....you can't control it , didn't cause it , and can't cure
it .
best of luck to you ..keep in touch and look for a local Alanon group .
Henry

maura_aparicio <maura_aparicio@...> wrote:
Well my name is Maura

I'm looking for a support group a friend told me about alanon. My
problem is not that I have a love one with an Alcohol problem. My
problem is that my husband has a drug addiction. I just found out
about it 5 months ago. A few day after I got married. I've been
dating this man for two years and never new he had a drug problem. I
did suspect there was something going on but he new how to cover it
up. Well I found out when he sold my DVD player. I went with him to
get help and he was doing ok. Then one day I go home and my 2nd DVD
player is gone and so is my lap tom and his computer. So I finally
sat down with him and told him I was tired that he needed to go to a
treatment center, he did. He was there for 28 days. Everything was
going well then two weeks after he came home he used again. I found
out because again se sold my brand new DVD player that was still in
the box. I also new he was using because he never brought home his
pay check. Since he and I have been married I have not once seen his
pay check. Well his drug use has stared to affect me. I am scared to
leave him home alone because I feel he well sell something valuable.
I've had to take most of my stuff to my mother's house. Every time I
come home from work I'm afraid to walk through the door for fear of
how I might find him. I've gotten to the point where every time he
does drugs I threaten to leave him he cries and tells me he wont do
it again and that he can't live without me. I feel like I'm trapped,
that I am drowning up in this huge glass of water. I can't tell my
family for fear they will look down at me and tell me I told you so.
Since they did not want me to marry him to begin with. All this has
started to affect my school, my job. My moods depend allot on his
mood. IF he has been using I feel depressed and disappointed. But
yesterday was the worst. He started this new program and his doing
so well. But yesterday he wanted me to live him home alone. I told
him no because I was afraid he might do drugs again. He stared
arguing with me and I told him I was tired of fighting and trying to
save a marriage that does not seem to have a future. He got mad and
through the boxes I was packing across the room then he grabbed me
shook me three times and pushed me, their was a table behind be and
I fell on top of it. I have never in my life feared my husband as I
feared him at that moment I thought he was going to hit me. He did
not he just turned around and sat on the table with his arms and
head on the table. Later as I was leaving he told me he did it
because he hates it when I threaten to live. Because he is trying to
change for me and he feels I don't have faith in him. I don't know
what I have anymore. I feel like it's my fault, even though I know
it's not. I hate myself for not being able to walk away from him and
not look back. I have to say after writing all this I feel much
better. I don't know if alnon can help me. I hope they can because I
am scared and I wish there was someone out their whom new what I am
going through.


Sincerely Maura



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